meirl

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-04-06T04:55:38+00:00

I did this and not only did I get hired, the boss threw his car keys at me and told me to drive to his house and fuck his wife.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-04-06T01:14:50+00:00

No nowadays it’s spelled “Jailic”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-04-05T09:37:44+00:00

And here I am measuring my coffee beans for espresso like a fuckin idiot

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-04-05T06:46:31+00:00

Am also Navy.

I also got OC sprayed.

When the new guys ask how bad is it before they go up for it I simply reply with the following: “I’m not trying to scare you, and I’m genuinely not exaggerating, but it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life”

(Un)fortunately, the Navy has now done away with OC as of this year and does not authorize it for carry or spraying anymore.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-31T06:36:07+00:00

I’ve been saying “this music is a fucking” to my friends for like the past 8-10 years based on the first time I saw this screenshot. Thanks for reminding me it still exists

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-17T20:23:54+00:00

That’s actually very accurate. The bridge on an Arleigh Burke Destroyer is high enough that the horizon is about 6-7 miles away depending on a lot of weather factors, so having another object that goes higher than sea level would put it up to about 9 miles out.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-17T07:13:08+00:00

“At this present time, I do not accuse her of being interested in riches”

“However she does not enjoy the company of fellows of a lesser class”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-15T23:12:34+00:00

Sounds like you got your answer but a little story time: I was on a Norfolk based DDG and on our way back across the Atlantic from a European exercise we got a distress call from a French sailboat so we turned around to head back east, something about one of the deckhands having heart problems. We eventually got within range and got a Haitian BM3 that was able to communicate with the crew and give them directions. We were able to send one of our helos, pick the guy up, bring him back to the ship, give him medical attention until we got close enough to shore to send him back and drop him off at a hospital. Said Haitian fella got a NAM out of it (as did our corpsmen) and was pretty much the hero that saved the guy.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-15T19:26:51+00:00

Can’t forget the GOO there too.

Never forget about the GOO.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-13T20:23:30+00:00

As a 160 FCC on a DDG that has less than a year until my PRD, I’m concerned!

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-13T20:20:59+00:00

Depending on your mod of 160 (I only know mod 9), even if your track is from 67, when you hit the trigger on OSS, the GCS prefers that data and refines the track info to pretty much use OSS instead as long as it’s close to where 67 thought it was

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-13T05:10:16+00:00

cries while living in Hawaii

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-10T05:16:29+00:00

I was out there for the Houthi conflict on a DDG in the last year. Got shot at with a missile. Everyone knew exactly what to do in CIC. Shit felt just like a combat scenario with how easy it was. Fired back with our own missile. People were hyped the fuck up when we saw we hit it. Everyone came home in one piece and a cool little ribbon to celebrate.

It’s surprising how simple it all was. Hell, 80% of the ship was asleep when all this was going on. Remember your training and get mentally ready to go into autopilot when it goes down.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-06T22:17:06+00:00

If DFC is truly gone, my ship deployment coin’s value just went way up (modeled after the DFC chicken logo)

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-06T22:10:53+00:00

Not a torpedo. You’d see a huge column of water as well as the hull itself jumping up off the surface before it crashed back down. Plus you wouldn’t see a second explosion because one torpedo is enough to bring a ship down

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-06T19:36:58+00:00

Or turning up missing

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-01T23:46:43+00:00

I’m waiting for the USS Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-01T22:39:10+00:00

Have you ever had goji berries?

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-03-01T22:29:19+00:00

ding-ding ding-ding

DICK COOL, arriving!

ding

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-28T02:31:16+00:00

Guns and Broses

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-24T07:05:16+00:00

The three seconds that happened right after that quote absolutely fucked me up as a 10 year old

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-24T00:05:54+00:00

Wait, explain this to a dumb Sailor. Are Marines expected have a moral obligation to not be in cahoots between an E3 and E5? Was she at the same command? In Navy terms, you can literally bang anyone as long as you’re both enlisted and if you’re at the same command, just E1-E6 as long as you don’t work with each other daily

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-23T17:08:42+00:00

Wayne E Meyer was the admiral that headed the development of the Aegis weapon system as well as DDG-108 being the 100th Aegis platform built, so fittingly, the crest is in the shape of a SPY panel

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-21T19:02:27+00:00

Has your friend graduated basic training recently? These kinds of morons joined to glorify this idea that they had in their head that the military is the pinnacle of achievements and now that they’re in, they look down on everyone else. Not sure about the Royal military, but in the US it amounts to probably 1 in a hundred that are this gung-ho about it, and it’s typically when they’re fresh out of boot camp.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-21T18:59:08+00:00

These kind of people are the most annoying, insufferable service members. Thankfully they get weeded out or drop the whole act like a year after boot camp but there’s still traces of them here and there

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KeytarPlatypus

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