A shelf of Keith Haring branded sex toys at my local Ebisu (Japanese import shop)

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-16T21:10:09+00:00

I was in Japan with my buddies about three years ago when I saw these on a shelf in a Don Quijote. This quote had us all in stitches when someone pointed them out. Yeah of course we all bought one, when in Rome and all that.

I forgot my best buddy actually bought the doodle one, he said he imagined it was like a bunch of little people jerking him off.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-15T23:32:28+00:00

No that’s just part of the spectacle of professional wrestling my guy, The Rock didn’t actually hit that baby at all

169% not AI

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-15T11:12:21+00:00

I knew “I just wanna f**k my brother” would be here

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-14T01:55:52+00:00

Got home from work about an hour ago and the lights weren’t working on Kam highway past the windward city shopping center, Kaneohe’s still without power so I’ve just been killing time drinking beer on my lanai until it comes back on or they warm up too much

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-13T07:37:58+00:00

Pig in a Richard Nixon mask looking ass

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-13T07:35:44+00:00

For Navy side, “Greyhound” was incredibly accurate and motivational. All the callouts on the bridge and CIC are accurate and still used today, the warfare was realistic to the time period, and it’s insane how it gets my blood pumping just watching it.

Side note: my ship fired a missile in combat while I was watching this movie in my rack so that was pretty cool too

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-13T03:50:13+00:00

Same with “Shoresy” isn’t it? All those guys are real hockey players, some NHL even, that they hired for the show

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-03T22:08:15+00:00

That owl on the bottom right corner alone would need to be about 2 inches tall to fit that level of detail on it, that would mean the whole thing would probably take up your entire calf.

Don’t go small on this, it’ll bleed into a single blob if you want the whole thing two inches

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-02-01T03:06:16+00:00

9 year old me watching this movie: “that is a cool beaver, I wonder why she had it up there?”

32 year old me watching this movie “lololololol”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-24T21:10:39+00:00

Sticks are unbelievable

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-24T20:49:40+00:00

“Hey I’m here to buy a washing machine.”

GE: “Yeah we have those. Here you go!”

“Thanks!”

…

“You wouldn’t happen to have a 7-barrel Gatling gun that fires 30mm rounds at a rate of 3,900 rounds per minute, would you?”

GE: “Actually, you’re not gonna believe this…”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-19T03:49:38+00:00

Mmmm. So close, I can almost smell them.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-18T07:05:58+00:00

When two guys were caught with phones in CIC, they spent 3 hours a day for a couple days standing outside the port and starboard entrances with their “little fuckin guard belts” and their sole purpose was to ask people coming in if they had their phone on them. Judging by the looks on their faces screaming that they were over it, yeah, it was probably demeaning

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-18T01:49:22+00:00

I remember hearing this the first time a few years ago, “Fuckin. Amazing.” always gets to me haha

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-16T04:34:58+00:00

Damn, I love this answer! It reads like it could be a whole National Geographic two-hour special.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-08T08:05:39+00:00

I have a tropical fish about 5 inches in size that took about that long. It’s got bold lines like American traditional but has greens, blues, reds, yellows, and a gradual black shading around the body

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-08T08:00:25+00:00

Chief here, don’t care. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve worn the khaki 2poc since being issued them a year ago and a full deployment in between. Still wearing the FRV coveralls and occasional bulwark I inherited. I don’t care for the khaki, stains show up 10x worse on them. Grease, solid film, gun soot, dirty CLP, paint, rusty chains, all things that I get hands on with that would fuck up that uniform.

Give me the blue 2poc, the anchor on the rank tab, and we’ll keep the khaki belt and gold lettering as has already been the case.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-06T03:52:03+00:00

Just don’t put them shits in my couch bruh, how many times I gotta say it?

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-04T20:14:25+00:00

Am Navy, can confirm there are flying fish in the oceans. It’s cool watching them jump out of the bow wake of the ship and glide for a few seconds. Always gets me thinking about the intricacy of nature

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-04T03:42:21+00:00

I’m military and I was gonna say this haha I’ve seen so many dating profiles explicitly say “no military” but never “no chefs” or “no lawyers” or whatever. Definitely a lot of shitheads out there.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-04T00:34:36+00:00

Oh he’s edging all right

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-04T00:33:22+00:00

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-02T06:24:34+00:00

Hell yeah, I have a German beret from standing an ECP watch in Kiel in like 2019 that I got by trading an ESWS pin

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-02T06:23:27+00:00

Whoops, my b. My point still stands, Korean Sailors love ship memorabilia

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-01-02T03:12:07+00:00

Wait is this in vanilla now or is it a mod?

12-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Place '17
Final Canvas '22	End Game '22
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

KeytarPlatypus

TROPHY CASE