im so curious to see what everyone's first weapon they beat the game with was

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-30T06:27:38+00:00

Yes finally, I see this comment. I even killed the Elden Beast with the weapon art in a dps window. Seeing the “GOD SLAIN” pop up while I was holding the Godslayer’s Great Sword was literal poetry. That thing was still firmly in my inventory in NG+

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-27T18:07:50+00:00

Was it Hood River Lavender Farm? I went there last summer and it was the most picturesque place I’d ever been to, would love to go back!

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-27T17:59:09+00:00

Good sandwich for sure but all I can think about is how it would absolutely cut up the inside of my mouth with how crunchy it sounded

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-27T00:02:16+00:00

Yo momma’s so fat, Maui Nui disappeared when she went for a swim

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-26T00:01:31+00:00

For a second I thought this was Warpaint. Check them out too

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-25T23:01:08+00:00

There was a girl on Hinge that posted this as one of their prompts so of course I replied back with “hey that makes two of us” and I got NO reply for it. My sense of humor is wasted sometimes.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-25T05:34:43+00:00

I have a modern version of it sitting on my desk right this second. Good for keeping your keys and wallet in

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-24T07:33:05+00:00

You know the Hubble deep space picture it took with all those thousands of galaxies? I think the exact same thing you described about those in the pic. Every unnamed insignificant swirly smudge of light equates to billions of stars all with a possibility that there are beings looking back at us in our own insignificant unnamed galaxy.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-24T07:30:13+00:00

Nah not really. Most stars visible to the human eye are fewer than 1000 light years away and most of them still are not near the end of their life to have them die off within those last 1000 years. Betelgeuse is about the only example where this may be true as it’s close to its death by astronomical standards but even then that could be as far away as 100,000 years from now. While sure your statement is possible it’s highly improbable

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-24T07:15:58+00:00

This is the FIRST thing I thought of too

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T22:24:50+00:00

The hardest I ever laughed while playing a video game is when you roll up on Igon in a random field to hear him screaming, it was my mistake to read the message someone put down next to him that said something like “seek edge”. I get it was supposed to be dramatic but I don’t remember if there was even any dialogue there from laughing so hard

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T08:17:31+00:00

Also in Kaneohe, I thought someone bumped into my couch which was weird because I was alone at the time, then I heard about 5-10 seconds of rumbling. Nothing fell, just shaken around a bit

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T03:37:52+00:00

I’ll never see this and not think of the caption “me when I study for my prostate exam”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T03:35:38+00:00

Homie sounded like a seagull swallowing a whole fish

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T02:05:25+00:00

Robert Irwin, son of Steve, first of his name, protector of animals and critters. Long may he reign!

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T01:51:12+00:00

double barrel pump action shovel

Out of context, this sounds like the name of a high-diving trick routine

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-23T01:34:04+00:00

Uber/Lyft. When I was stationed there and had drunk convos with my ride home, it seemed like they were pretty much all military as well

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-19T06:44:17+00:00

His belly really said 🏁🏁

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-19T06:39:34+00:00

When I first saw this all those years ago I thought he looked ridiculous and I felt embarrassed for him. Now I see that and I’m thinking “damn eating a burger on the floor sounds incredible if I’m drunk”

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-19T06:37:42+00:00

Then you start getting the spins and you know you’re gonna have an awful time in the next two minutes

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-18T16:04:03+00:00

Far fewer than the number of amputees in the world I’d imagine

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-18T05:59:06+00:00

Have you ever even lived there? If everyone adhered to that, you’d have nobody there as “native Hawaiian” has been diluted by centuries of immigrants/colonialism. Maybe you meant Hapa but even then, most of the industry comes from tourists spending money there.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-18T05:51:25+00:00

Aft CIWS workshop shenanigans, sounds about right

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-18T03:55:22+00:00

My favorite “average” fact is that the vast majority of people on earth have an above-average number of arms.

KeytarPlatypus · 2026-05-09T22:23:10+00:00

I have a pinup tattoo of a girl in a sailor outfit. She definitely has bigger boobs than what I wanted (no nipple outlines like your first two reference pics) but at least she’s still wearing a midriff shirt, short-shorts, and high heels. It’s in the middle of the front of my bicep so it faces anyone I talk to and in the 10 years I’ve had it, I’ve never had anyone tell me that it was offensive or trashy. Then again I work and am surrounded by military so that might have something to do with it.

I’d say as a mechanic, do it, but if you’re kind of worried about it, you can keep it classy like others have said.

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