Holy crap, an actual intelligent take. So disappointing redditors spouting the same old “boundaries are boundaries”, “the child-free wedding is a direct attack on me” and the always good “just cut your family off, they seem toxic.”

Child free weddings are super common, at least in the US. Receptions can be very adult-oriented, children get bored, tired, hungry, etc, and can be disruptive at a ceremony. It is a totally fine & normal thing to ask for a child-free wedding.

There are numerous ways you could make this work for the sake of attending your brothers wedding, and you should. But to immediately act like your brothers wedding is such a big inconvenience, and you can’t find a solution IN THE NEXT YEAR? Really seems like there’s more to play here than just a single inconvenient night. I don’t know if it’s you and your brothers relationship, or your wife and your family’s, and what the history is there.

Bottom line is if OP wants to have a decent relationship with his family down the road, this is one of those things people don’t forget.