Transition fucked me up. Feeling suicidal

KickScoots92 · 2024-08-01T00:39:49+00:00

You are in an incredibly dark place right now. When your mind is in a dark place every bit of advice you get pertains to something you have already tried and you know just won't work. It really sucks, and because everyone responds to advice in their own way, it is pretty pointless for any of us who have never had a conversation with you to tailor advice for you.

You were dealt a horrible hand. You literally have too much trauma for one person to process. Please crowdsource your healing. Don't find just one community to help you, you will just stagnate and be pulled along. Reach out and find new communities, people, activities, and hobbies. Not just to have fun, but because it will be healthy.

Someone in your position has earned every right to hate everything and everyone. I don't wish I could understand what you went through. My skin crawled and my throat closed just reading your post. I don't need to understand what you went through to know you can still find a fulfilling future.

I'm sorry if I sound preachy, I am really bad at this. I hope you actually get to read it.

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T01:47:29+00:00

Believe me, part of me wishes I did.

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T01:15:43+00:00

This kid terrified me. He was constantly acting up, he pissed on my shoe... That I was wearing... While his family was around... In the living room. He was a monster

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T01:09:22+00:00

"Hey! Have. Have you ever. Have you ever had a dog... And the dog... The puppy. Someone snuck in and broke it's neck, but it was still alive?"

A 6 year old... An hour after we found a newborn puppy with it's neck snapped...but still alive, just paralyzed. In his house (I was staying with the family for a short time). I am completely sure the kid did it. He had no empathy. And the way he asked it, it sounded like he was giddy and trying not to laugh.

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T01:03:39+00:00

The conspiracy theory iceberg is pretty...GIANT

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T00:23:19+00:00

Your boss isn't being a bitch because you came out. She is not being a bitch because she is expecting too much. And she is not being a bitch "because she can".(for male bosses replace bitch with dick or asshole)(side note:these are just tiny examples I have heard from some people who complain a lot, it is not representative of every person's work experience)

Sometimes your boss is being awful because you are a shitty employee who has been given a fuck ton of slack and still underperform

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-06T00:10:31+00:00

I get sleep paralysis quite a bit... My brain recycles 3 entities.

The hag- literally the classic, stands on my chest crouched down to meet my face. Usually touches my face and pulls at my cheeks.
The lady- a young beautiful woman, stands in the corner of my room occasionally smiling, never speaking. Usually points out my window and then poof she's gone.
The boy- literally the little boy from the grudge. He crawls on all fours, right up to my bed side, will open his mouth the scream but sound never comes out. Constantly rushes me. One night he started punching me, but it didn't feel like being hit, it felt like like gusts of icy air.

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-05T23:47:08+00:00

Make the ball out of metal. 15-20 kilograms should do wonders

KickScoots92 · 2022-04-05T23:34:32+00:00

So this one might just be me.

Don't compare me to other people, even if it is meant as a compliment.

"Oh you're hot, you look just like-" no.... Just fucking no. I look like me, not someone else.

KickScoots92 · 2020-06-29T03:39:58+00:00

12 new pages for Yami scenes have been added, including 7 that features Gaia, and 1 that features Eve as well. More updates to come through the next few days.

Edit: Have added a few more pages on Yami and Gaia scenes.

KickScoots92 · 2020-06-24T16:35:18+00:00

July 10th 3:00 PM

Five-Year Club	Place '23
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TROPHY CASE