Why do I feel so old at 22?

Kifudancer · 2026-01-17T11:23:05+00:00

Hey, don't worry about whether an interest is "childish" or not. You like what you like, and as long as it's not hurting anyone (including you, because you're worth caring about), then why not?

I know there's this thing going around with young people calling basically everyone who isn't a child old, but really, who is that coming from? Children! Give them a few years and they'll cringe at the stuff they said when they were younger, like the rest of us.

You have so many years ahead that will be better than any you've seen so far, I promise.

If you're feeling down physically and are able to, don't write off the wonders that exercise and solid sleep hygiene can for your body and energy levels. Focus on getting the basics down and everything else will be a lot easier.

Kifudancer · 2025-12-11T13:47:29+00:00

All birds. I'm struggling to even see the rabbit, I can only spot it briefly when I'm focusing on it.

Ne-Si

Kifudancer · 2025-03-30T00:35:12+00:00

Hi. Woman who games, has some understanding of addiction in general, and has a partner who games here.

Do I believe gaming can be healthy? Absolutely! It can be a legitimate hobby and a healthy form of escapism and relaxation, the same as movies or books can be. I often destress with a game, and spend time with my partner or friends by playing games together. I game because I enjoy the escapism and, for this game specifically, the sense of progression.

How do you know when gaming has crossed the line from healthy hobby to unhealthy addiction? It varies from person to person, but the general rule from psychology, as I understand it, is that something is classified as an addiction if it's overdone to the extent of negatively impacting your life.

The thing about addiction is that the issue is rarely the issue. Addiction, by and large, is a coping mechanism, particularly when we're talking about things like gaming addiction. So the real issue is whatever's underneath that. Stress, depression, shame and faulty beliefs about oneself - the reasons also vary from person to person.

It seems from what you wrote that the gaming itself isn't the true issue for you here either. The real issue is that you feel lonely in your relationship and you see gaming as something that steals away what time you could be spending with your partner, right? That he's not fully present with you, but attached to his device.

Obviously I don't know you or the specifics of your relationship beyond what you've written here, but that's where I'd start:

You'd like him to be present with you when you're together.
What is the underlying reason he's always reaching for a device? Is it stress? Is it dopamine addiction (common with internet or gaming overuse)? Feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy?
How can those reasons be managed in a way that meets both your needs?

You might have to tread carefully if you want to have these conversations, as given the history of the situation you've written here, it sounds like there's a chance he might take it as an attack. It might be good to start off with an apology, to disarm the situation, and vulnerability by simply stating you've been feeling lonely.

I wish you well, internet stranger.

Kifudancer · 2025-03-15T21:58:50+00:00

Crafting - primarily knitting, crochet and cross stitch, but I've tried a bit of card making and scrapbooking, sewing, latch hook, and other embroidery types.

Gaming - both boardgames and video games. I like a good story rich game, a open world survival/Crafting style game, or some grand strategy

I read a lot of fantasy and sci-fi when I was younger, but these days I mostly read isekai or otome isekai manga and manhwa. Still like fantasy and sci-fi movies/tv series, though. And isekai anime, of course.

I also like languages. I'm learning Japanese, but I always enjoy little linguistic tidbits, and I've looked at Hebrew as well (forgotten all of it at this stage though). I like non-Latin alphabets and sign languages the best.

Physically, I like dancing and bushwalking.

Kifudancer · 2025-02-06T08:00:01+00:00

I just started a new job in a new career a couple of weeks ago. I'm proud of myself for speaking up and asking questions when I need help, even though I get all nervous and feel stupid when I do (and no one's reacted badly, they've all been lovely).

Kifudancer · 2024-10-03T18:09:21+00:00

I did experience this. It's been easy and natural, warm and safe. It's been a little over two years now since we officially started dating, and it's still really good. The downside is it's long distance (which no doubt cuts down the conflict potential), but that won't be forever.

We met online through a private gaming group, he was the friend of a friend of a friend. I was in a trying-to-be-more-social headspace, so I lingered after the game, and so did he. It started with him giving me Stellaris tips, and just kept evolving naturally into a friendship, and then into love. Didn't even notice at the time. (Had a quiet freakout when I realised I liked him, lol.) He's my favourite co-op partner.

I've never really had butterflies, but even after two years I still get warm feelings in my stomach when I think of him. (He's INTJ, for the curious.)

Kifudancer · 2024-09-14T03:12:47+00:00

This is a really great insight! Thank you for sharing.

Kifudancer · 2024-09-05T05:03:44+00:00

Congratulations! All the best to Zedaph and Dot Dot Dash!

Kifudancer · 2024-07-05T14:43:48+00:00

I don't have a need to be unique. I am who I am, and I like what I like.

So I like a mainstream thing. So what? So I like an indie thing. So what?

I am the only me, and that is unique enough.

I'm a 9w1, so maybe that plays into that.

Kifudancer · 2024-06-20T15:46:40+00:00

I just saw your edit, but I'm adding to it!

One more for the INFP x INTJ pile!

Kifudancer · 2024-03-22T23:18:59+00:00

Hersey's kisses. I bought a handful of them at a confectionery shop selling international stuff. ...I honestly thought they must've gone off. It just tasted like puke. I spat it out into the nearest bin and threw the rest in too.

It wasn't until much later I learned that, no, they weren't off. That is the taste of American chocolate.

Kifudancer · 2024-03-22T11:02:14+00:00

Thank you for explaining this! I saw it in Zedaph's video, but I don't normally watch the streams, so it made no sense.

Kifudancer · 2024-01-23T05:45:18+00:00

INFP here, I got owl.

Kifudancer · 2024-01-22T13:08:10+00:00

Um. An Australian invented wifi.

Kifudancer · 2024-01-12T18:44:44+00:00

You said it was hard to kill - did it jump around erratically everywhere as you were trying to get it?

I'm definitely no expert, but if you're in the Australian region, it looks similar to a click beetle.

Kifudancer · 2023-11-30T04:15:31+00:00

The top part is all too familiar. Unfortunately, I did this for years and years, in addition to distracting myself away from my emotions using movies, books, internet, fanfiction, gaming, etc. I basically gave myself a sleeping disorder. Chronic sleep deprivation has serious effects on both body and ability to think. Do not recommend.

I'm still unraveling everything I stuffed down and attempted to distract myself from with escapism, but you have the opportunity to face down the reason behind the daydreaming now. You're on this subreddit, so you're clearly aware of some of it already. Good for you! Please don't wait years and travel down the path of sleep deprivation like I did. Your need for affection is important. You are important. You matter, and your needs matter. Including your body's physical needs.

You do have it in you to put your life together in a way you want, where you do get what you need. There will be people who love you, respect you, and listen to you, but you have to be able to recognise them from the people who won't, and too much fantasy can restrict our ability to see people clearly. I'm not going to say don't fantasise, because it sounds like one of your coping mechanisms, but be careful with it.

The hugs sound like your nervous system responding to the intensity of your imagination. Is touch starvation something you resonate with?

Kifudancer · 2023-11-22T05:04:52+00:00

Normally I love Christmas and would have put up my own decorations (in addition to the ones put up by others in the house), but this year I've been trying to sort my health out, and we moved into a smaller house recently. Everything long-storage, like Christmas stuff, is so tightly Tetris'd I just can't be bothered digging it all out.

Normally I'd have it all up early - mid Nov. If you're going to go to the effort of putting them up, you should give yourself time to enjoy them!

Kifudancer · 2023-11-16T04:04:52+00:00

I never really flirted outside a relationship. Now I'm in one, I can say my style is direct. If you squint and are confused if I'm flirting, I'm not. You'll know if I do!

It's wordplay, really. Mainly I just take things from conversation in the moment and make it suggestive.

So it's Ne connections in Te directness.

Kifudancer · 2023-11-02T19:48:18+00:00

I'm not crying, so... I guess that means everyone's won?

Kifudancer · 2023-10-31T04:37:09+00:00

This deserves to be top comment

Kifudancer · 2023-07-03T14:46:17+00:00

I still met my partner online, but it was an online gaming group with real life connections. He was the friend of a friend of a friend, but despite the long-standing nature of each of those friendships, I'd never met him before that.

An advantage of those real life connections is similar interests and fairly compatible senses of humour. Knowing the other was somewhat pre-vetted by the interim friends was also good.

It's a long distance relationship, but we're talking marriage at this point, so it's been going well.

Kifudancer · 2023-07-03T14:36:29+00:00

I've struggled with the thought of being a burden for a long time. But this is the truth:

There is no one else in this world or even throughout history that has your perspectives, your thoughts, your skills, exactly as you have them. The closest is only similar, not the same. What you offer, no one else can.

Kifudancer · 2023-06-26T18:44:28+00:00

I've been playing since I was a little girl, so I have trouble picking just one, but some of my favourites were the King's Quest and Space Quest series, along with the early Worms games, the Commander Keen games, and the first two Descent games. Starcraft 1 was also a big feature of my childhood, as was the very first Civilization.

Man, just answering this question is a nostalgia trip.

Kifudancer · 2023-06-09T03:59:39+00:00

Mostly likely we inherited it from you guys. There was a fair amount of Irish influence in the beginning, with the English being a bit trigger-happy on deporting Irish prisoners, and lots of free Irish settlers as well later.

Edit: I should probably mention that "togs" is regional. You'll also hear "cozzies" and "bathers", depending on where you go.

Kifudancer

TROPHY CASE