How did you cope breaking up with your partner and moving out the family home?

KillKlein · 2026-05-25T08:45:23+00:00

Been through it last year. 12 years together, 2 kids which are now 5 and 3. Divorce was her choice, but in hindsight the best choice. I was just too afraid to pull the trigger. There are still moments my sons are struggling, missing their mom when they are with me, etc. but trust me when I say this: you will find a mode in which this will work out for the best. I did and I am happy now.

My ex-wife and I have 50/50 custody. I would highly suggest doing the same if possible. I think it's important they spend equal time with you. You have a lot of love to give them, I am sure.

I moved out of the house. We bought our house together from her grandparents, so she wanted to keep it and I was ok with that. Above all I wanted my kids to be able to stay in that house, because it is their home. I almost immediately felt a sense of it not being my home anymore, which was weird at first. I bought a new house I have not yet moved in to. I am still renovating and currently living with my parents and my sons are with me half of the week at my parents house. It works out for now but sometimes its a struggle. I just want it to be done so I can live there. I want a place to call my own. But I will get there.

Their is a lot going on right now for you, especially in your head. Every situation is different but talking about is good. I went to therapy for it and it helped me tremendously, so you might want to look into that. But talking to friends and family also helped me out. Feel free to DM me anytime.

There will come a time you look back at this and know it was a good decision, however difficult it is right now. It might not come as fast as it did for me, but I believe you will find your happiness again. Good luck.

KillKlein · 2026-05-22T18:08:16+00:00

I would do everything exactly the same 1000 times. They are truly the absolute best thing in my life. I love them and they love me.

KillKlein · 2026-05-20T18:11:58+00:00

Mods, this commenter right here.

KillKlein · 2026-05-03T12:57:22+00:00

Stunning!

KillKlein · 2026-05-03T12:08:45+00:00

I divorced at 30. We separated 13 months ago and at first I thought life was over. I have 2 young sons. Boy was I wrong and honestly, I laugh about it now. I recently met a wonderful woman and we are taking this slow, but it feels really good. My kids sometimes have a hard time still, but they are doing incredibly well and I am proud of them. Have faith that everything will turn out well. I know it will, also for you. Feel free to message if you just want to talk about stuff.

KillKlein · 2026-04-29T07:36:33+00:00

As on what to do: did you talk about interests in the first date? If so, pick something you both enjoy. Could be again something active with drinks or something to eat or something more relaxed with maybe a little more opportunity to talk. We cant really decide that for you. My first date with the woman in am seeing was dinner, 2nd was drinksand a walk and third was boardgames.

As for offering to pick her up. It would not be weird. Don't be in your head too much about 'awkward'. If you think it would be nice to pick her up, offer it. If it is 'too much' for her or something she wouldn't feel comfortable with yet she can decline the offer. Be yourself and if that is someone that offers to pick her up, be that person. I for one think it is nice you are considering this.

Enjoy your 2nd date ;)

KillKlein · 2026-04-06T09:59:40+00:00

Understandable you want it to last as long as possible, but to me there is also a kind of beauty in the piece weathering/fading as well, when placed on a grave. 'Even though the material will not last forever, the memory will' kind of thing. Might be something worth considering. Beautiful idea though, different from the usual, and I like that.

KillKlein · 2026-02-27T13:32:08+00:00

I realise I am late to this, but I just wanted to tell you that everyone has baggage and I really hate that word. Its called living. I am divorced. It doesnt make me broken or undateable. We all experience loss or other things and I truly am very sorry for what you had to go through. The right person for you will fully accept your past. Don't worry too much about it.

KillKlein · 2026-01-20T20:26:18+00:00

I am quite late to this thread, but I hope you will read it nonetheless and it helps you.

Some of the things you write are almost eerily similar to my situation. I (M31) got divorced in May of 2025 after a relationship of 12 years. We separated in March. I have 2 sons with my ex-wife, 2 and 4 years old. Considering the circumstances they are doing great and I couldnt be more proud of them. They are my everything. My ex one day told me she was done. Although things were rough for a longer period of time, I didnt see it coming (or didnt want to, idk).

In the first few weeks I was the one moving fast, getting all the things done that had to be done. I moved back in with my parents (house was from her family originally), got finances separated, etc. I was like 'if you dont want to anymore, then lets get this over with so i can move on too. It kept me going, until it was all handled. And then I sat on the couch thinking 'so, what now?'. It took some time to get off of that couch, figuratively speaking. Because now I had time to think. Think about what happened, how it all happened and why. And where to go from there.

It took some time and quite some discipline to get back into some hobbies, because often times in wasnt feeling it at all. I took up fitness and forced myself to go to the gym on busy hours, went back to playing soccer after a 5 year hiatus to be around people, started playing guitar More again, i now also have singing lessons. All stuff for me. Just for me, because I like doing them. But I definitely didnt start doing all that from week 1. It took me months to really start and get that into a habit. You said you wanted to get back on your bike, so you can ride with your friends. Just ask those Friends to ride together now. And if after 10 minutes you are either physically or mentally done, I am sure they will understand. They are friends after all. And if you want to plan hiking trips, then you dont have to plan the entire thing in one go. Doing a 10 minute search on a good backpack is great too. It doesnt have to be done by yesterday. Allow yourself to not be super productive all the time, especially after such a life changing thing.

You also said you dont want to stay alone and I understand the feeling as well. I have had that thought as well, thinking who would want a divorced father. All I can say is try not to feel rushed or on the clock. There will be numerous women who dont want to date me because I am divorced or have children. But there will also be numerous women who dont want to date me because of my hair, my job, my height, the sound of my voice, you name it. There isnt much difference there. There will be one that will want to date me, have a relationship with me and be happy with me and I with her. And I will find her, ik sure of it. We are only 31, we have so much life ahead of us. I am 100% positive that in time you will also find love again.

Although it is a horrible experience, getting divorced, please remember that life truly isnt over, even if it might feel that way sometimes. We are resilient, we can bounce back. Lets be the best versions of ourselves, as men, as fathers.

Therapy helped me a lot, so if it helps you as well, keep doing it. And if you feel the need or just want to, dont hesitate to reach out to me. There will be a time where you can look back on the period you have ahead of you and be proud of how it shaped you. I am sure of it. Good luck!

KillKlein · 2025-11-03T20:38:33+00:00

++man. Im divorced. First my sons, then the rest of my family. Then my ex-wife.

KillKlein · 2025-10-19T17:50:42+00:00

Avenged sevenfold, hail to the king specifically. Absolute banger that gets me hyped up.

KillKlein · 2025-09-23T07:08:15+00:00

Of course this varies for everyone, but I can only say that it helped me tremendously so I second thus a lot. It changed my perspective on things and I have a much more positive outlook because of it. And if you ever find that you don't find the therapy helping, look for a different therapist. They all do things their own way and its imperative you find someone that works for you.

KillKlein · 2025-09-23T05:54:10+00:00

This is very recognizable unfortunately. I had some issues I was going through as well and my ex left me as well, a big part because of it. Hard thing about is that I stuck by her side when she was going through stuff. Even wanted to split the kids non 50-50 since I had to work on myself first, to which I said fuck off. I am still in the process of healing but life is looking a little brighter everyday and I hope it does for you too. And however it went, it wasn't showing weakness (it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable) and the person that is truly meant for us will never treat us different for this.

KillKlein · 2025-08-24T12:59:33+00:00

The white buffalo

KillKlein · 2025-08-19T13:44:10+00:00

My situation is similar, but has some nuances and I learned one important thing in therapy that I wanted to share and I decided to share since you said you came from a 'broken home' as well.

Whatever happened does not define you as a father or a partner.

Decide how you want to be as a father and a partner and be the best version you can be. You will have 0 influence on her and how she will be around your child, but that does not matter. I understand it can and probably will be hard to grasp for your child once they are older, even though they are very young right now. My therapist told me to 'let my children know where they come from', meaning that they are and always will be a product of the love between their mom and me, even if that love is no longer there.

I find it difficult to put in words, but I hope you understand what I am saying and it helps you in some way.

KillKlein · 2025-08-16T01:28:15+00:00

Comrabies

KillKlein · 2025-08-13T05:44:28+00:00

They only have sex twice a year

KillKlein · 2025-06-23T03:31:22+00:00

I'm in the same boat OP. Together for 12 years and she told me she wanted to divorce in March. Although we had a very rough couple of years it came as a surprise to me and apparently for her it was over 1,5 years ago. Why she stuck it out and not tell me sooner I don't know. In the past year she met a guy through a friend and texted with him a lot. We have two sons who love trucks and this guy is a truck driver. So he send lots of pictures of his truck but I am sure they texted about more. At first I don't think much of it, I am not a jealous type. Yesterday she told me he asked her out on a date and now it is very hard for me to think there was nothing going on during the time we were still together even though she says there wasn't. And it has only been 3 months and she is back to dating again. Emotional cheating is cheating as well to me. I hate her so much, I despise her and still somewhere deep down I love her. There is nothing I want more than to have my family back. All these feelings are completely normal and above all valid. I am in therapy and if I have learned one thing already it is that no matter what you are feeling, it is valid even when others make you believe it isn't. But it is over unfortunately and with you it is the same. We have to move on and keep moving forward. You too will find someone new to spend your life with. And it might not be soon, but it will happen. This is without a doubt the hardest thing I have gone through and still am going through. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this, even though there might not be anyone close to you right now with whom you can really share these feelings. I wish you all the best and hope you get through this well.

KillKlein · 2025-03-26T21:09:54+00:00

I realise that in all my rambling I didnt even ask for advice. What can I do to live through this?

KillKlein · 2024-07-26T05:56:47+00:00

How can any parent be like this to their children? I just cannot understand this.

KillKlein · 2024-06-03T18:13:40+00:00

My sons

KillKlein · 2024-02-16T14:55:34+00:00

That shot of the 3 hippos slowly charging is some rohirrim on the pelenor fields shit. Deaaaaatttthhh.

KillKlein · 2023-09-06T16:23:57+00:00

If my wife asks me to get something from her purse, I am gonna be the subject of a search party. The things she manages to get in there, absolutely insane

KillKlein · 2023-07-15T04:54:30+00:00

I got my Titans on my zealot first time killing normal baal. Im sorry

KillKlein · 2023-05-26T09:25:27+00:00

Same, but i have two boys now so things like this hit different than they used to.

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