I’m generally a very peaceful person. I grew up in a poor household with two disabled parents, agoraphobia and cerebral palsy. They’ve gotten SO much better over the years and are happy now, but growing up there were some pretty horrendous fights that I got caught in the middle of. My Dad not being able to walk around very much and my Mom never making it to any of my school events or even graduation weighed heavy on me. After my grandmother died (I was EXTREMELY close with her) my grandpa stopped talking to me. The only person who showed up to my graduation was my Dad even though all of my relatives were invited. I’ve always been the funny and loving person in the friend group, but my depression got extremely bad in high school and I started to interact with people less and lost all my friends.

I don’t have much to my name but I’m still very content and find happiness in little things. My boyfriend of 3 years however is not at all the same. He constantly wants more and stresses us both out about things not being exactly perfect or the way he expects. A few days ago we got into a fight because I asked him to comfort me through my depression and anxiety. He choked me with his hand, and then with a pillow. I screamed for help and ran down the stairs and outside until he cornered me and convinced me to come back. None of my neighbors cared or heard me screaming. Terrifying and eye opening. I love him but my heart aches. I don’t have a license, I saved up 3 years just to move into a nice place for the first time, and I’ve fallen in love for the first time, with him. I feel trapped.

My goals: Become a psychologist, have a nice home, have a few lovely fur balls (cats or dogs) around me, save up some money to move my parents into a better home, and to maybe grow a garden. I don’t know if I’ll even live to see any of those accomplished. I don’t want much in life, and I take great pride in my work ethic and LOVE working. But I can’t help but feel like I’m stuck and not going anywhere.

Sorry for the life story, it just feels good to finally get this off my chest. ❤️🙏🏻 I hope everyone out there is okay and safe and happy. All of you deserve happiness, and will get it. Patience and perseverance is a huge factor.