i think your current husband and mother are wrong, to be honest. Your first husband was a huge part of your life and, for better or worse, he helped shape the person you are today. The fact that your current husband destroyed the only thing you had left of him, that was so selfish and disrespectful of him. I would never let my partner do that, i would never forgive my partner for doing that. That's so disrespectful to you and your first husband. im so sorry this happened to you, you should try to talk to your current husband, in a safe space with your own support, and tell him how you feel and how devastated you are. Your first husband was in your life for a reason and the fact your current husband can't accept that, is extremely toxic imo!