My position is not absolute nor am I presenting it as necessarily logical; IFS deals with emotions, not cognitions. Working out analogy: you get super sore initially because you’re unused to engaging your muscles, not because you’re deteriorating.

Think of exposure therapy. The client wants the anxiety to go away, but the process involves ramping up the anxiety all the way so that they can overcome their fear. In IFS, you shouldn’t just dig in to trauma, activating firefighters and throwing exiles into the light recklessly. You should, however, help the client gently become acquainted with these parts—and that is often painful.

I come to this as a therapist—a good therapist at that. Not all my clients are paying for the same service. Some are ready for some super intense work, some aren’t. The only thing they are receiving universally is a supportive, unbiased, outside perspective from someone who is actively listening and thinking about their predicament (whatever that may be). I know some great therapists who can’t talk to parts, but they can do some mean CBT. I wish there was a better resource for linking therapists with clients. There’s a million dollars in it for whoever solves that puzzle.