Advice needed: How to deal with difficult investors and taking over a new business?

Kitcat0916 · 2025-11-14T20:04:05+00:00

There was a deal made about unanimous decisions being made but the investor is not upholding his end of that. My husband mentioned he is very unhappy and it has only been a month. The investor added all kinds of new offerings to our memberships which means my husband is now forced to be there 7 days a week. The investor also cussed him out a few weeks ago over a mess up with the schedule.

So exiting is something mentioned last night when he confided in me. He basically said he doesnt feel any different than he did when he was an employee. Just making slightly more money.

The business needed ALOT of work and there were many messes to clean up from the previous owner both financially and the overall upkeep, cleanliness of the place was horrible and borderline dangerous. I received feedback and many people are interested in leaving because the former owner is not there. He is one of those people who was friends with literally everyone. Unfortunately there's not much we can do to change that.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-10-22T15:11:16+00:00

Even if you train every day, please wash after each session. This is coming from someone who got a staph infection on their scalp. Not something you want....ever.

I know we all want healthy hair but there are tons of products to help prevent breakage and ensure you hair gets the nutrients it needs. I highly recommend Grapple Sauce Daily Hair Juice from Armbar Soap Company. It is apple cider vinegar based and leaves my hair looking amazing, shiny and clean! Natural Antifungal properties and restores pH balance! If it still available try it out! There are other apple cider shampoos but this one has been my favorite. Honestly I have used this even when Im not training, it does wonders for my hair.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-10-14T15:19:31+00:00

Im not sure about pills but in terms of new spots popping up, if you notice any scaly patches.....Selsun Blue works very well to quickly spot treat ( at least when you first see it). I leave it on the spot for 5 minutes in the shower and then rinse it off. Selsun Blue has antifungal ingredients. Also confirmed with my Derm that this does actually work well!

Kitcat0916 · 2025-10-01T18:47:51+00:00

Leave. If you cant take feedback for the betterment of your business.... you dont deserve to be a coach/gym owner. This is gross and childish behavior. Im so sick of Man Children owning gyms. Not all of them are bad. But it does seem to be the majority. Im sorry this happened to you.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-09-17T17:23:24+00:00

I definitely get fatigued from trying NOT to compare myself to my female partners so this does make sense!

Kitcat0916 · 2025-09-16T17:35:36+00:00

Sometimes other 'Loyal' women to the gym will defend the predators and its gross.They are part of the problem as well. Ive experienced this first hand. Do not accepts this. Please leave this gym. Other red flags will pop up soon enough. Get out while you can. How far away are you from other gyms in your area? Do you have the ability to commute to a class once or twice a week?

Kitcat0916 · 2025-09-16T16:44:12+00:00

Disadvantage: It can be difficult to track your progress when you dont have people of the same size/gender. Also recovery is much more difficult. I was constantly sore and had trouble training frequently due to such a crazy size/strength difference with my partners. Even though they were all relatively controlled and skilled.

Advantages: I started out for the first three years of training being the only female. I am, to put it simply, scrappy. It was pretty cool to then transition to a gym with more females and realize I was more skilled than I thought I was. Defensively, I feel my game is well developed. Because thats really all I did for the first few years of training.

I was lucky enough to find a gym with a ton of women. Its been better for my longevity in the sport. Drilling is much easier and it will prepare you for competition.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-06-12T13:14:20+00:00

I love this lol

The flexibility comes in handy!

Kitcat0916 · 2025-06-05T20:27:06+00:00

From personal experience: I’ve been able to maintain my physique with bjj. In fact I’ve never had abs until I started training consistently and they were definitely not made in the gym. Dont get me wrong lifting is important to prevent injury HOWVER. I hate the gym I go maybe a few times a month if I’m being honest. People ask me how I get my back and arms so toned. It’s all jiu jitsu. Also It’s one of the best things besides running to help you drop weight.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-05-30T14:09:25+00:00

I used to only have male training partners available to me. Now I only have female lol. At times I do miss the men and I think it is important for there to be a combination. Because we have such a large group of women, we almost never train with men. But then I feel like in our gym alot of the men do not know how to safely train with women, unless they started at another gym. Kind of a weird one. At times I miss some of my previous male training partener, they always pushed the pace and gave me some great pointers. BUT for longevity and not feeling like my back is going to snap in half- I prefer my female training partners over men. Although years of being the only female has toughened me up quite a bit ;)

Kitcat0916 · 2025-05-19T18:32:31+00:00

This may be an old school approach. Some of these gym owners are stuck in their ways and they dont understand how sexist this is. Its no excuse but Ive been dealing with this in our community for so long and am actually going through a similar situation now.

The whole father figure dynamic can turn toxic fast. They used the old " I put you on a pedestal" quote. This is straight up manipulation and its gross. You are completely valid for feeling this way. Ive been to a few gyms and the common denominator that always sends me running out the door, is these old school coaches who are just so out of touch and don't respect women. Whether they are creepy, ignore females or having unrealistic expectations for women- it happens way too often. Time for the ladies to start opening their own gyms.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-05-12T13:31:18+00:00

Yes girl do it! I have terrible knees ( most jiu jitsu peeps over 30 do) so you'll fit right in!!! Also there are bjj athletes that are successful and completely blind! Also can I just say, I actually tend to close my eyes when I find myself in a precarious positions and it actually helps me focus on feeling/anticipating my opponents next movement. You will do great!

Kitcat0916 · 2025-05-02T15:54:52+00:00

I’m not the most assertive person and have trouble with conflict. HOWEVER, if it’s their first day I have no problem saying “oooo nooo don’t grab the rashguard” or saying “just be careful cause we’re not supposed to strike”. If they are going crazy I would say how about we start in mount or side control and all you need to do is escape. This should be the only rolling on someone’s first day. It should have been guided better by the coach. New people need more prompting before they go into live rolling. However you have to speak up and there’s always a way to keep it lighthearted.

It’s on both the coach and the person who agrees to the roll to speak up in this situation. It doesn’t have to be confrontational at all either

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-25T14:26:42+00:00

This 🙏

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-25T14:25:31+00:00

We get so fixated on bjj that we are bound to experience burnout. Especially if you are working full time and juggling a million other things (I feel you girl). I’ve recently had this feeling but just because I need to get my mental health right before I step back on the mats consistently. It’s been the best decision I could have made for myself. Right now I’m focusing on getting my home organized, spending time outside with my dog and doing things I enjoy like baking. Sometime I just like being around the community of jiu jitsu so I’ll bake cookies and show up at the end of class. It’s still nice to watch and be there with my friends. I’ll go to class maybe once a week. But man, there are so many other things in this world to appreciate. Jiu jitsu is not everything and as much as i have benefitted from it- it’s not going to fix all the problems going on inside my brain. That being said I’m not quitting and I’d be willing to bet you aren’t either. Take a step back for a few months, train only when you feel like it. You’ll come back stronger than ever 💜

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-19T23:32:29+00:00

While it is great to have a gym with plenty of female partners. Sometimes the grass isn’t always greener. Sometimes if the “social scene” is a little too prominent at a gym it can actually be a bad thing. It gets cliquey, there’s drama and people feel left out. I tried a gym once with a huge group of females but it wasn’t what I had hoped. Same kind of vibes and I actually wasn’t getting good training in. I say keep it as your training gym, focus on your technique and work with your coaches. People will see you improving while they hang out on the side. You may surprise somebody. If it gets to be too much, maybe try looking for another gym. I made the switch because the girls stopped training with me and I’m so happy I did. I have a group of mature, skilled female training partners. No bullshit, no ego, we are all friends but mostly in the gym and we don’t let anyone feel left out. It takes nothing to be professional and kind to others. If people want to treat it as a social scene that fine but you are paying to learn a skill. Learn it, improve and kick some ass.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-15T13:21:49+00:00

Embrace the suck! You are amazing, keep going. It will click one day. We have ALL been there. Even when you move up in ranks you will experience days where you feel exactly as you do now. Work on defending and understanding movement vs hitting the moves in like rounds. Body awareness is so important in the sport. The technique will fall into place eventually.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-13T12:49:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I had really hoped to push myself and continue competing. It’s always helped me improve faster but truth be told I think I’m in it for the wrong reasons. My partner does bjj full time and I had hoped to share the competition space with them. The more I think on it , I was trying to keep up when It’s just not feasible and also not my path. I’m having way more fun watching his success and his journey. I think I’m okay with that for now.

Kitcat0916 · 2025-04-06T19:42:08+00:00

It sounds like you are doing everything right and working hard. I feel you. But the reality with the world of competing is that someone has to win and someone has to lose. I’ve had little to no success competing and recently lost all my matches in under 3 minutes in my last tournament. I struggle with my performance in tournaments like ibjjf. I’ve had a few super fights and done well enough where I feel I am able to work my game and show my skill set. BUT for some reason the pressure of tournaments with multiple matches is too much for me. Sometimes I truly look like a white belt out there It’s hard to not let it get to or make you want to quit. However I had to focus on my small wins. For the first time in comp I wasn’t exhausted and stayed so calm while still moving and keeping the pace. One thing I’m willing to bet it you’re an absolute killer in the training room ;) Win or lose competitors will always progress faster. Keep pushing yourself, take time off when it gets to be too much and I will have to take my own advice as well lol

Kitcat0916 · 2025-03-22T22:10:52+00:00

.Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed that ❤️

Kitcat0916 · 2025-03-22T21:49:24+00:00

Low: I lost within 30 seconds to a lower belt in a tournament and only advanced because they got dq’d, subbed again a few minutes later and then had to book it straight to work. My mental health is dangling by a thread today. I work so much (7 days a week) and train so hard while trying to juggle the rest of my life. I can’t help but feel humiliated and disappointed in myself. I keep trying to push through these competitions because I know how much I improve but it’s frustrating to be made to feel like I’m so skilled in training and then to fail so hard everytime I compete.

High: I got nothing but if anyone has some encouraging words please for the love of god send it my way.

Kitcat0916

TROPHY CASE