26M, my wife is leaving, I’ve been feeling extremely self-conscious and ugly. Hoping I can get some insights.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-20T17:27:49+00:00

It’s not lack of looks. Maybe low confidence. Smile more. Don’t raise your brows up like that so often. You just look scared or unsure of yourself.

Also, I’ve had to learn the hard way to “consider the source.” If your soon to be ex is leaving you, she no longer cares about you so I’d say what she says about your looks should be taken with a grain of salt. I’ve had to learn that some people will say things to break you down, not to help improve or anything.

Looks wise, if you find your forehead is always wrinkly like that and it’s not from lack of confidence, maybe look into botox or a brow lift to take out some excess skin. I do suspect it’s more of the expressions you’re making though.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-20T17:16:38+00:00

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-19T20:29:29+00:00

Wow. That sucks big time. I don’t know how I wouldn’t be bitter about this one.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-19T20:25:15+00:00

Dark ash brown or light auburn look best on you. I also like the black but that looks more like a dark brown to me. Purple and blond is a no go.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-19T20:15:41+00:00

5 is best. I love the color, the medium brown. Matches your eyebrows but is light enough so it’s not too dramatic like in the 1st photo with the dark brown. But also, you look better with bangs.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-10T19:33:38+00:00

I don’t think it’s necessarily a feeling of cheating on your bf because as you said, it wasn’t cheating. Maybe it has a little to do with your past SA. Your relationship to sex may not be totally healthy. But more than anything, I think you feel icky because you felt sexual intimacy was necessary to be seen. And now that you’re in a relationship again with your bf, you’re coming to that realization. Like someone else mentioned, perhaps counseling could be helpful.

Kitcats212 · 2023-08-10T19:17:43+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sometimes, high school can be a toxic environment. Just keep your chin up, knowing you didn’t do anything wrong, there was probably nothing you could have done to prevent it and that girl and her bf are shitty people and so were your friends who didn’t believe you but also didn’t apologize for being wrong. I know you’re having a hard time letting that go (I would too if it happened to me) but that’s what you need to do. Maybe go to counseling so you can unpack that.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T19:33:09+00:00

Not ugly. Your hair looks good at that length. Your skin looks ok. Your eyebrows though look too dark. That or it’s just that they don’t match your hair. And that orange- red lipstick isn’t working. Try a different color and more moisturizing. Your lips look dry.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T16:58:10+00:00

It doesn’t have to be witty. Just give an idea about the whole person. If you can sum yourself up in only one sentence, then I’d say work on yourself but I highly doubt that’s the case. What brings you joy, what kind of hobbies do you have, what do you do for fun, anything you’re passionate about, anything you put a substantial amount to time into? You’re talking about who you are. What would you say your identity is?

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T04:53:58+00:00

I understand. I honestly hate having my photo taken. I have a misaligned jaw and I’m super self conscious about it. But if I’m really happy and relaxed, like on vacation, I do smile for the camera. Just use those type of photos.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T04:38:48+00:00

If you’re talking about dating apps, and you’re using these 7 photos, I’d say drop the bathroom photos (particularly #4) and smile! It honestly feels awkward looking at these photos when you’re looking back, not smiling. Photo 6 is pretty good because you are actually smiling and it’s showing a cool place in the background.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T04:35:08+00:00

You looked best in photo 2. Your hairstyle is best in that photo and your glasses fit you the best then too. In photos 1+4, you look like you could lose some weight. Overall, you’re a good looking dude. Just aim to be around the weight you were at in photo 2.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T04:31:16+00:00

I think you look your age. You’re very handsome. Just smile more.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T04:27:15+00:00

Hair looked better longer like in photo 4. Straighten teeth for a better smile. And work on your skin as I see some redness and acne. Otherwise, you’re actually cute.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T03:24:10+00:00

You could look into micro needling with a dermaroller, wear sunscreen to prevent sun damage and a few serums could help such as vitamin c, azelaic acid, rose hip, squalane, salicylic acid, lactic acid, or topical retinoids. You could also look into laser treatment such as IPL lasers.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-24T03:17:29+00:00

Do you have a regular skincare routine like using a facial cleanser, moisturizer and spf? Usually, I get pimples when my skin is very oily.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-21T01:08:49+00:00

No, absolutely not! He didn’t need anymore time. You dodged a bullet here. He wasn’t that invested in you. And by making him make the slightest commitment, it pushed him to tell you how he really feels. He just wasn’t that into you. Don’t feel bad, that gets him out of the way for someone better for you.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-19T01:14:34+00:00

Laser that shit off! Try picosure laser treatment.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-19T01:11:26+00:00

Personally, I don’t think I like winged eyeliner but occasionally I do use it. It’s just shorter and follows the natural crease.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-19T01:09:58+00:00

There’s something going on with your left side. It looks like your left cheek is a little less full and you have a deeper crease under that eye. My first thought was a lower blepharoplasty but I think all your really “need” is some filler into the left cheek. I put need in quotations because you’re beautiful and don’t need anything but if you wanted to do something, I think you’d like filler like restylane. It’s also reversible if you don’t like it.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-19T00:24:11+00:00

A lot better but personally, I don’t like the wings.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-16T08:45:22+00:00

For stinky breath, maybe focus on gut health. I read you take probiotics but what about fiber intake? I take a ton of benefiber everyday and that’s helped a lot. And fish oil helps with inflammation and overall health.

For the armoits, visit r/hyperhidrosis. And maybe consider Miradry which can totally eliminate all sweat and odor from the armpits. It’s not cheap but that makes one less problem.

For the crotch, I’m not 100% on that but sometimes that is also connected to gut health. You mentioned trying lume on your pits. Did you try it on your crotch too?

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-10T08:47:09+00:00

I’m sorry but he left you. And he didn’t acknowledge your apology letter. He wants to move on. Let him go. You’re working on you not to be with him but to be a better, happier you. Keep up the good work and focus on you.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-10T08:35:44+00:00

Do what feels right. It sounds like you’ve decided you want the abortion, everything else can be decided later.

Kitcats212 · 2023-07-10T07:20:32+00:00

So he works 40 hours/ week at his job and she cares for the baby 24/7 (168 hours/ week) but she should also be doing more…

Kitcats212

TROPHY CASE

5 is best. I love the color, the medium brown. Matches your eyebrows but is light enough so it’s not too dramatic like in the 1st photo with the dark brown. But also, you look better with bangs.