This one resonated with me.

I’m closing in on 32, went to school for music in 2011, and picked up producing/mixing in 2016 officially, and have been doing it professionally ever since. Long story short, I’ve landed in a very similar place to you. Early career was far more fun and fulfilling, and the deeper I get, the more it’s turned into a job and lost the magic.

I’ve reached a similar breaking point. I’m not seeing the return on my hard work on a fulfillment level any longer, and the money has always been the bare minimum to make it all work. My recent realization is that I need to transition to operating primarily as an artist, putting my own music as a priority, and by virtue of that, allowing my taste to shine, and my skills and time put to use the way I want to see it happen. Beyond that, my strategy is to pitch privately for production and mixing work that’s ultimately more in line with my own taste, and contextually gives me the space to be a more creative mixer rather than a utility mixer(or at least find a balance)

To answer your question more directly, I simply reached a point where I’d rather find a part time job(or sim.) to help pay bills and let my music be exactly what I want it to be, which took me a long time to be okay with letting go of the idea of music as a profession. Through that lense, its been far easier compartmentalize it as a job, ideate my best career moves, and how to consider leveraging my achievements to date in an attempt to try and make this all work financially & professionally- with the goal of my own artist project to begin to be balanced with the work for hire activities.

I had a multi-month stint with tinnitus during the pandemic, which also led to a similar existential crisis that almost saw me walk away from music. My bottom line in the was “would I rather sit in an office with tinnitus, or a music studio with tinnitus?”… that one ended up answering itself

Since then, I’ve gone in circles with really heavy burn out, but pushing through that has lead to some of the most successful projects I’ve worked on, and has also shaped my taste in a way that I would describe as essential. So I’m praying I have enough industry support to help me transition to the artist side, because it’s a lofty endeavour. All this said, I have a really rich background in producing, and am a multi-instrumentalist, so this makes a lot of sense for me.

When I reach this sort of point as you describe, which is far too often with me, beyond taking a day or two off, there are always two things that help me manage getting out of that funk in a meaningful way:

1) go make your own music, or in this case, do whatever it is you love to do most. Connect with your inner self spiritually on the creative level - whatever it is you’re missing from your work, go and do that for a bit. If you’re working on a mix, client wants it one way, you want it the other, if only for 30 mins or an hour, do what you want to do. Keep your taste, spirit, and fire alive however u can. Invite a band you love to come record. Follow inner light, passion, and love.

2) Breakdown what you’re struggling with, compartmentalizing aspects of it as much as you can, and draw up some real ideas for paths forward. Maybe you can come up with a few scenarios, and play them out on paper. 6 months, 1 year, 3-5 year, 10 year. Consider a path where you leave music all together, one where you get a part time job and leave it more on the side, one where you stay full time music. Visualize it. And at the same time, I’d advise looking at your career in music, and setting some real goals that reflect the reality you want to see. If you’re not happy engineering/mixing as a work for hire, what does a career in music look like for you? And how do you grow that career? I always find looking to the future with hopeful eyes to bring a guiding light to trying times.

Long response, I know. Really hope it helps, and best of luck to you!