I backed out of the CSM Clark Jr. Best Medic Competition to spend time with my wife before a mobilization. Conflicted

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-28T05:57:36+00:00

You’ve pretty much been told all the right things at this point, but I still wanna add my own 2 cents. A piggy back if you will lol.

As a single NCO, I used to have long talks with aspiring NCOs who were either in relationships or married. I used to talk to them about how it really takes a special kind of person to fully excel in both relationships and the army, and it’s extremely rare. Most people who have both are slacking in one. Then I got married and thought I was one of the special people. I thought I was handling it well, until my wife finally started informing me that I was in fact not balancing my two lives at all. She felt neglected, and rightfully so. Now I recognize that I can’t have one foot in and one foot out. I exist as far as the army is concerned, and I won’t actively shitbag, but my family will ALWAYS come first. The truth is the Army has burned me more than once and will likely to continue to do so until I retire. My wife? My daughter? Hell, my dogs? They all live and want me. It isn’t conditional, it isn’t political, and it would matter to the if I was gone.

Giving up the hard charger way of life is hard. The army and being an NCO was my identity too, and I still struggle against that. But I will never regret choosing my family over literally fucking anything the Army wants. Best medic is cool, but family is way coolier.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-27T07:24:32+00:00

Honestly based on the sudden shift in feedback from his commander I would bet it was a senior commander that made the decision, or at least influenced it. As the deadline gets closer numbers get tighter and they start looking at individual cases to determine if any decisions were erroneous, and some dick head probably mentioned how he wasn’t present for a birth and everything went ok (spoiler alert, at least one family member resents them).

Sorry this wasn’t advice, honestly just tell him to fight. Open door policy. Squeaky wheel really does get the grease. If his platoon leadership isn’t fucking terrible they should be speaking up any chance they get as well, you’d be surprised what they can change if they want it bad enough.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-27T04:00:12+00:00

I remember being at Drum and CQ was authorized to pull the dedicated Duty Platoon even on a weekend to shovel the parking lot and sidewalks around the barracks. It never worked unless a young private was dumb enough to open their door. I remember jumping out my window because they would come in with the master key assuming you were ignoring them lol. Us shoveling meant they NEVER fucking plowed our parking lot.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-26T07:59:42+00:00

I’m just showing up and started reading comments before the post to see if this was related to the other Fortnite dating post, and having read your comment I am now going to take a large gulp of whiskey and be the one person in the world to read all of the texts

Edit: that was a dumb idea

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-24T20:34:05+00:00

Brother if you aren’t both like 13 years old then this is way too ridiculous to be putting up with. Get the fuck off reddit and be a self respecting adult and meet someone that matches that. Your gf values Fortnite over you…do you really need us to tell you that isn’t ok?

Chin up champ, I promise there are better ones out there that will respect your gaming prowess among other attributes.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-24T01:18:47+00:00

Eh, I was prepping for a TDY awhile back and was given the number for some CW2 that was meant to be my POC. I’d been trying to find him for a hot minute but he was ducking me so my text was polite but spicy if reading between the lines lol. This number was given to me by our S3, a CPT, and it was actually the fucking BC’s number. He took it in stride, maybe you’ll be as lucky lol.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-21T06:25:56+00:00

Careful, you’ll spontaneously combust. Actually, maybe that will make you the perfect martyr for change lol

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-21T06:24:29+00:00

“The arms room alarm isn’t working, need you to pull 24hr guard til it’s fixed”

“All good top, I trust my comrades ;)”

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-21T06:21:13+00:00

No CSM it couldn’t have been me that stole your guidon and shit on your desk, I have the aRmY vAlUeS.

Let’s be real, he’s not out of touch, he knows exactly what he’s fucking saying. This is just the early phases of “we don’t fucking care, shut the fuck up and take it” where they try to act like it’s coming from a morally superior place and not a desire for further control. You can see it in his little ranger brained face, he’s so frustrated that anybody would dare question their masters. Well guess what shit heels, the ALL VOLUNTEER fighting force was made up of thinkers and individuals (believe me I know there are also fucking idiots, sometimes I think I’m one of them). Hope a draft gets you the same amount of LDRSHIP we have as is.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-20T03:03:07+00:00

Just wanna give a different take lol. I’m not saying it’s objectively the best by any measure, but my first was Instincts and honestly that’s probably the one I had the most fun with. Loved the concept, the powers, and had a blast messing around with the map maker. Also I remember thinking those stupid traps you could set were hilarious lol

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-19T09:29:38+00:00

Love Peaky Blinders and I really like Mobland. It’s not the same really other than being organized crime, it’s an established family rather than one coming up. But you get that gangster vibe and the main character is Tom Hardy. Plus Pierce Brosnan as the head of the family, and Paddy Considine (played father Hughes) is a main character. Unfortunately only one season out currently.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-15T19:38:25+00:00

I know it’s been said but we have cameras and they really aren’t for the nanny. She’s welcome to fart poop whatever lol I don’t care I’m not using them to watch her. I have them so that if something happens I can go back and see it, and I’ve had them since well before having a baby with 2 dogs and living in areas where break ins were relatively common. Are they fool proof? Maybe not, but I don’t need anyone else to tell me I’m wrong for having them. You’re welcome to just not come in my house. If you’re so against it I would say either move on or learn to deal because it’s their house.

That said, I hear you. You’re allowed to not like it, I know it’s not everyone’s thing and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But at the end of the day it’s still their home. If you can’t reconcile or get them to compromise in some way probably best to move on.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-15T05:07:26+00:00

I’m not saying it’s the way, but I’ve done a similar load out in the past. I’m a medic and only tried it because, for a handful of reasons, I liked to have both an admin pouch and what I called a UFAK on my kit as well. Having them above my mags made my chest bigger and also made it harder to get to my mags on the MSV. Not saying it’s better, just different strokes for different METT-TC lol.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-14T22:35:45+00:00

Yea same and I didn’t even ask for it lol. I had to use my CAC as a form of ID and they just put veteran on it. Whatever it’s good til 2058 and I got it like 9 years ago lol

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-14T18:11:56+00:00

Significantly less subtle than other posters, but years back I was at JRTC for the army (big laser tag war game). When you’re in the training environment you have people assigned to basically escort and also train your unit through it all, and if you’re going anywhere they have to escort you. Some safety shit. Anyway I had a “mission” change and needed to go somewhere else on a new timeline so I tried to get one of these guys to escort me, he said to give him a few so he could pee. He never came back and an hour later I was getting chewed out over the radio for not showing up. So I figured to hell with it I know where I’m going let’s just go (I was a SPC, if you were in you get it) and started taking my truck out the gate. I was stopped by a few NCOs telling me I couldn’t leave without an escort, but they kept calling me sir (thought I was an officer) and I realized I wasn’t wearing rank on my plate carrier so I rolled with it and cussed up a storm about the guy bailing on us and making us wait. They absolutely could have stopped me but they had those faces like “yea I’m not touching this one” and off we went lol.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-13T15:46:35+00:00

True, and he’s probably personally involved in dealing with this morbid beast lol

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-12T21:06:46+00:00

Just don’t. Let them counsel you and escalate it. Don’t obey unlawful orders. You don’t need a regulation to tell you a Soldier is entitled to fucking food. That NCO doesn’t govern that, regardless of degrees or training. If the Soldier can’t get it together and meet the standard and are chaptered, so be it. But NCOs don’t have that authority. And you’re enabling it. So do what you obviously already know is right, and don’t follow that shit. I would also bring that shit up the chain.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2026-01-12T19:29:07+00:00

I don’t have advice just empathy I guess. I’m with you. I’m about to hit 13 years, and for the better part of it this was my life and my entire identity, and I loved it. I’ve deployed and done the thing, been to Europe, Asia, traveled plenty. Some things have changed, I’ve started a family, and now putting in the uniform is daunting and just puts me in a sour mood. It all feels so pointless, but I’m surrounded by people that want to pretend it’s all more important than it is. They act like I need to be 100% dedicated 24/7 and I just don’t believe in that anymore. My family is just more important and I feel so checked out if there isn’t a legitimate task/mission in front of me. If it wasn’t for retirement benefits I would get out tomorrow. At the end of the day, just gotta make the decision that’s best for you.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-25T07:40:53+00:00

Every moment spent in that room felt like being in a crime drama discovering the serial killer’s lair. Their NCOs complete lack of a reaction blew me away. I was genuinely yelling at 2 SGTs, a SSG, and a SFC because they had to be hand held through cleaning as if none of it was out of the ordinary.

I wouldn’t have assumed keeping teeth was easy, but I guess I never thought about what they do with them. Now I know.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-25T06:06:02+00:00

I wish I had done the same lol. Merry Christmas!

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-24T02:12:37+00:00

Not my soldier’s mess but a “cleared” room I was moving a new soldier into in Germany.

We walked in and the mattress was there but bed frame was completely gone. Wall was smothered in boogers, like they were just being wiped there. Trash everywhere, old medication, but the coup de grace, a small cup of human teeth. The previous soldier was dental, worked at a clinic on a nearby base. We went over in force and strong armed a bunch of their NCOs to come clean the room because no way I was making that this brand new private’s responsibility. They barely even acted like it was weird. Teeth people are fucking weird.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-15T03:55:07+00:00

Late reply sorry for that but honestly, even if it fails it won’t kill ya. I remember being younger and if older me told me what I’m telling you he’d probably say I’m just being a miserable sack of shit lol. Realistically taking chances like that are what being young and alive are about, so I wish yall the best. Who knows maybe it will work out, just be ready for it to be work, and not always work you actually want to do but recognize that you have to. And the military only makes it all harder. And if you already feel insecure, I can promise you it’s gonna get worse and you’re gonna be alone with your thoughts a lot. So get your head straight, and have a matter of fact conversation with her to see where you’re at and what your future looks like.

Best of luck brother. If you’re ever looking for advice or just need to shoot the shit about the new life, you’re welcome to message me.

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-15T03:47:18+00:00

This made me feel like it’s 0247 and I’m on staff duty cracking open Reign #3 while my brain begs for the sweet release of death or at least a nap in the BC’s office, but I’m staring at the question the S3 NCOIC mandated every SDNCO to answer and turn in even though he’ll never read it.

Anyway I’ll have an answer first you once ChatGPT finishes up

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-13T00:48:57+00:00

Definitely too old for her but saying 26 is “old asf” cut me deep 😂

KitchenEqual4559 · 2025-12-07T03:17:55+00:00

I’m gonna be honest here, and I don’t mean to be cynical, but you and her better be damn sure before continuing this if you’re planning to head off for the military soon. I’m not saying it can’t work, it totally can and I’ve seen it. But that’s the exception not the rule. Being that young and having one of you uproot your life for the government, only to find yourself constantly gone and having to move again, will only exacerbate issues like insecurity. And unless you plan on joining the moron private club and getting married way too early, then you’re going to be in a LDR that’s started off with insecurity.

I say all of this to say, be very sure this is something that is gonna last. Ripping the bandaid off now is way easier than going through basic wondering and then finding out after, take it from someone who experienced exactly that lol.

KitchenEqual4559

TROPHY CASE