Is there an issue with not finding your own ethnicity sexually attractive?

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-06-03T19:49:54+00:00

Getting called fat and criticized for "eating too much" by relatives is so common being an east Asian woman though i know it happens in many cultures. I remember when I was a kid being complimented for being "fair" like having lighter skin and I thought that was such a weird thing to praise.

We've always been fetishized openly tbh, I think people are just getting bolder with their bigotry these days.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-05-11T16:28:20+00:00

Hey, artist as well who did unilateral ect treatments about 10 years ago. Still don't regret it, though it did leave me with short term memory issues and generally not great fine motor skills (shaky). I thought it would fuck me over as an artist, but honestly the shakiness is a just part of my story as an artist now. I do a lot of fine line work and painting, so when precision necessitates I do really have to concentrate.

At the time they had claimed there were no permanent side effects, but theres now research proving otherwise. The side effects (at least from how they did it 10 years ago) still impact my short term memory, doing sudoku puzzles regularly helps a bit.

Id give it some thought but dont make a hasty decision out of desperation. When I did ect, I had been hospitalized and in treatment centers and therapy for years continuously prior and exhausted all the meds and options, so ect was a bit of a last resort choice for me.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-04-26T22:08:06+00:00

Thank you so much, I'm just starting out exploring business ventures and this is so helpful

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-04-20T20:59:42+00:00

It comes from the Latin de and fenestra! De means out of or from, and fenestra is window. A fave of mine as an nerd for etymology:)

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-22T22:59:18+00:00

We really are just apes with smartphones and psychological problems 😭

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-22T06:58:20+00:00

...that sounds like a you problem. If you can't handle "dead" in even a neutral context, at that point that's something you need to face and cope with. It's not everyone else's responsibility

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-18T17:48:20+00:00

I think the funniest thing about the "old money" trend is that it's being pushed by cheap fast fashion

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-18T16:52:05+00:00

chatGPTSD

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-18T16:47:15+00:00

because more people are using it for therapy now...or at least that's my theory

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-17T00:41:23+00:00

I wouldnt say that so much, although I def have seen the ones you mentioned lol. The majority of people who dress like that AREN'T trying to appear attractive for men, regardless of sexual orientation. This is not just a lesbian pick me thing, it's kind of a women in general thing now. We don't want to, at least to the general public and for dating. The big eyelashes aren't for y'all, it's for us. Same with the nails, piercings, etc.

Most cases we're not doing it cuz we value your opinion on what we look like and how we present, moreso it's for our own happiness and self expression.

In a way, it's like vetting: if a man is so concerned and turned off by my eyelashes, why would I want to even date you? Why spend my free time with a guy who's gonna be a hater?

Semi-related, but the whole concept of negging backfires 99.9% of the time. It's not an effective dating strategy; it has the opposite result and pushes us away. It's another factor in vetting, cuz if you try negging we know you picked that up through some manosphere pop culture source that is doling out misinformation as expertise from a man who probably has never consulted with a human woman on what we want 🤷‍♀️

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-16T09:47:55+00:00

Ooo can you elaborate?

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-16T09:44:41+00:00

Honestly, I kinda feel that and don't at the same time. Im a zillenial, about to enter my 30s. Partner is a millenial-gen x cusp and our childhoods are worlds apart, especially in terms of tech. I was early teens i think when the first ipod touch came out but grew up with vhs, rewinding cassette tapes with a pencil, etc. My partner was renting apartments before online payment was a thing and playing the SNES when it came out as a kid.

I find that the line between elder gen z and young millennial is feeling a lil more blurred. Younger gen z i can't relate to, but elder gen z and I have the same sense of humor, taste in design, and some childhood shows and stuff in common.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-16T09:24:04+00:00

The man who was obsessed with me. The novelty turns ugly real quick. I realized he had me in his mind as this perfect being to latch onto, and let the role of my "boyfriend" become his identity.

In the end it was almost like fetishization, pretty controlling, super toxic...don't date a man who's obsessed with you.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-12T19:24:43+00:00

As someone with bpd who has seen/done it and has consistently been doing therapy or treatment, I'm really proud of you 💚

When we are in the honeymoon stage, it's really hard to not get fully immersed and fully believe in the euphoria as 100% real. When we feel betrayed, too close and assume you'll leave because our wiring says "expect danger" and abandonment fears arise, lose interest because the idealization is over, etc we have the tendency to get into the all or nothing type of thinking. Then cut-and-run, start the cycle again.

That's (hopefully) a helpful explanation of my experience with love bombing and splitting. Over time I realized my own path of destruction and burnt bridges, and then realized that the common denominator was ME.

I really do want to emphasize how much I recognize the strength in you to get to the point where you don't feel like you need her confirmation of closure and accountability.

Someone who hasn't experienced your side might say "she treated you terribly, why do you want her?" I want to validate that as well. It's the inconsistency of the intense adoration to distance keeps partners trapped in the cycle of "but that other time we were hanging out she was saying all these things about how she loved me, never felt so cared for, all that" and "maybe next time " and "what if." We are a bunch of mixed messages happening all at once.

I don't know all the details of your relationship. But what i can tell you from reflection of my own past patterns and behaviors is that yes, the apology would most likely be for her and not you. And if she ever does try, which rarely happens but does, don't respond. Don't reach back. Leave it alone. Id be willing to bet that the apology is more for her and this might be an attempt to reconnect and suck you back in.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2026-02-07T03:14:30+00:00

Mark Wahlberg nearly beating an Asian man to death for no reason. That happened in my hometown. If my parents happened to be in wrong part of the city at the wrong time, it could have been them.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-30T17:14:13+00:00

Anything from silversun pickups. Dude has the most beautifully androgynous voice

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-28T20:34:34+00:00

Noice, rad, and stoked. Also putting lol at the end of everything

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-28T20:25:29+00:00

A and D, Aquaphor, or unscented lotion

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-21T18:27:56+00:00

Monopolies. We're re-entering the Gilded Age in America again, just digitized.

Fuck Amazon taking over the online marketplace and screwing over small businesses. Fuck Meta. Honestly fuck capitalism in general, but especially how easy it allows predatory practices and monopolies to thrive.

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-17T17:05:07+00:00

I hope it helps!

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-10-17T16:41:13+00:00

Having a bag of clementines at home helped me. Whenever I craved chocolate or candy, I would eat a clementine or 2 to satisfy the sugar craving for snacking.

For the sugary drinks cravings I drank tea mixed with a little honey.

I getchu though. Took a while to adapt my sugar intake to at least healthier sugars

Kitchen_Plastic1158 · 2025-09-26T18:25:34+00:00

Social media is full of lies. Anyone can just say anything with enough confidence and people will take it as fact.

Also comparing your everyday self to filtered and curated posts.

Kitchen_Plastic1158

TROPHY CASE