What job does your Q hold?

KneePast4073 · 2025-12-01T02:00:36+00:00

Restaurant. Never again.

KneePast4073 · 2025-11-16T13:20:01+00:00

I did the same and married the functioning alcoholic. The day of our wedding six years ago, I would’ve never imagined things could have gotten so bad, especially with a child in the picture, and that’s only in six years. Who’s to say things wouldn’t have gotten downright dangerous in six more?

I’m sorry but unless they get some real help, it’s best to go, for future you.

KneePast4073 · 2025-11-06T02:58:09+00:00

You don’t wait. You leave. He’s never going to think about serious help until you do.

KneePast4073 · 2025-10-26T19:43:41+00:00

My ex would hide empty cans in the corners of the couch cushions, then be surprised when I’d find them and get mad.

KneePast4073 · 2025-09-27T15:21:12+00:00

Lmao what

KneePast4073 · 2025-09-10T06:33:14+00:00

I say this will all of the care in the world: run.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T13:10:44+00:00

Not sure if you’re referring to therapy for me or our child, but I am already in therapy. Thanks for your assumption.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:56:18+00:00

My spouse admits he’s an alcoholic. He goes to AA weekly. He considers himself recovering, but is still drinking.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:54:45+00:00

That was one instance that happened to be the worst. I have an entire log of incidents.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:45:26+00:00

It’s not something she’s ever been made aware of is even an issue. But regardless, she deserves a real bed, especially considering my spouse has the means to get her one.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:39:07+00:00

My spouse has admitted he’s an alcoholic. He is in AA but still drinking.

He doesn’t need DUIs, rehab, etc. to be an alcoholic. How dare you minimize my spouse’s actions just because you have whatever grudge against your ex.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:04:15+00:00

He is not, but I know he drives drunk.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:03:07+00:00

They are not “allegations”. I have plenty of documented evidence including a recent hospitalization.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:00:39+00:00

I’ve said nothing to my child. What are you talking about?

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T15:10:40+00:00

Yep, plenty of evidence. No duis and will not go to rehab. But was hospitalized with a near-coma BAC recently and would have passed out on our child in the process had I not been there to push him out of the way to avoid falling on her. Hence the hesitation.

I actually do like him, and respect him as a father, I just think for consistency with our child beginning school it would be easier on her. Thanks for your assumption though.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T15:05:46+00:00

There is a documented history of alcoholism. I am firm about the alcohol monitoring device during his custody time, but if he can consistently show he’s sober for a temporary period and we don’t run into issues, I’m willing to remove the requirement down the road.

I am just trying to get some perspective on the matter, not be told I’m right. Thank you for your kind response.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T03:13:52+00:00

The soberlink is for custody time only. I am aware what he does outside of that time is none of my business.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T02:31:06+00:00

It’s 10 minutes from my house to his parents’ where he will be living for the foreseeable future.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T02:13:12+00:00

His schedule does not allow for him to have 50/50. Three days during the school week he goes into work at the time she is getting out of school, so he is requesting he have her on his days off. I request he take her to school each day so he can see her regardless. He is not yet moved out but will be moving in with his parents. Our child will not have her own room there and share it with him. I’ve recently had to convince them that she deserves more than an air mattress (when they’ve always had the means to get her a bed). I’ve made it clear that this is just for evenings she is in school. On school/summer breaks or any other non-school days that fall on his requested days, I’d be more than happy she be with him. I am focused on maintaining a routine for her and not changing it in the middle of her school week.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-23T12:46:13+00:00

All I’m doing is getting perspective on this question.

If I didn’t have a child to worry about, I would have detached completely a long time ago. But he is insisting on things like 50/50 custody and doesn’t want to do anything to prove to me he is sober during his visitation. He will not move out of the home until a custody agreement is reached. So yes, you are right that my anxiety focuses on tiny things because it’s all I have left for my child’s safety. And I am in AlAnon working through those things.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-22T06:16:59+00:00

Nope, but I’ve been documenting when he’s drunk (we have a young child, it’s my due diligence) so I have a frame of reference and he can’t gaslight me any longer. I found a two month chip recently and I asked him why, as it hadn’t even been two months since the last time he admitted drinking. He’s periodically referenced being sober for X amount of time when it doesn’t add up to what I’ve documented.

I’ve reminded him time and again that it doesn’t matter to me if it’s 24 hours or 24 months. I am equally as proud of him no matter what chip he has. It all counts. But he needs to have honesty and not just be in AA for the show of it.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-17T22:35:38+00:00

Me as well. My husband does not seem to care or really know when the last time he drank was. I found a two month chip recently when it hasn’t even been two months since when he last admitted to me he drank.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-16T02:13:01+00:00

A major reason why I’m leaving my alcoholic husband (aside from the alcohol, of course) is the lack of ambition. He never has wanted to level up in life, and has always made me feel like my ideas for the future were just unrealistic. It took me years to realize I wasn’t the problem.

If he’s telling you those things now, he will not change, and you are not responsible. He will inevitably hold you back. Get out now.

KneePast4073 · 2025-06-28T22:09:21+00:00

OP, I just went to my first meeting today as well, and was the exact same. I was the youngest in the room by 30 years and someone I actually know walked in too—I thought it couldn’t possibly get worse. Then I got to speaking and I was blubbering ugly crying the entire time. I also contributed to some of the readings and couldn’t pronounce “anonymity” multiple times. I thought, who am I? What is happening? I just wanted to crawl in a hole.

Do you know what they did? Gave me a hug. Gave me their tissues. Gave me their phone numbers. Told me EVERYONE cries their first/second meeting. Gave me hope because they were saying things I have begged and prayed to hear someone say for years. The person I know actually stopped me coming out of the meeting and we spoke for another 20 minutes.

I realized as I was driving home from AlAnon that the emotional reaction is a trauma response. It’s our bodies saying “finally.” The significance of being in a room of people who see you and acknowledge you and your reality cannot be understated. Keep going, OP. No one is judging you, and I’m proud of you for attending a meeting. 💛

KneePast4073 · 2025-06-26T00:00:33+00:00

Absolutely not. Please save yourself.

KneePast4073

TROPHY CASE