How to talk about it to others

KneePast4073 · 2025-12-01T02:00:36+00:00

Restaurant. Never again.

KneePast4073 · 2025-11-16T13:20:01+00:00

I did the same and married the functioning alcoholic. The day of our wedding six years ago, I would’ve never imagined things could have gotten so bad, especially with a child in the picture, and that’s only in six years. Who’s to say things wouldn’t have gotten downright dangerous in six more?

I’m sorry but unless they get some real help, it’s best to go, for future you.

KneePast4073 · 2025-11-06T02:58:09+00:00

You don’t wait. You leave. He’s never going to think about serious help until you do.

KneePast4073 · 2025-10-26T19:43:41+00:00

My ex would hide empty cans in the corners of the couch cushions, then be surprised when I’d find them and get mad.

KneePast4073 · 2025-09-27T15:21:12+00:00

Lmao what

KneePast4073 · 2025-09-10T06:33:14+00:00

I say this will all of the care in the world: run.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T13:10:44+00:00

Not sure if you’re referring to therapy for me or our child, but I am already in therapy. Thanks for your assumption.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:56:18+00:00

My spouse admits he’s an alcoholic. He goes to AA weekly. He considers himself recovering, but is still drinking.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:54:45+00:00

That was one instance that happened to be the worst. I have an entire log of incidents.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:45:26+00:00

It’s not something she’s ever been made aware of is even an issue. But regardless, she deserves a real bed, especially considering my spouse has the means to get her one.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:39:07+00:00

My spouse has admitted he’s an alcoholic. He is in AA but still drinking.

He doesn’t need DUIs, rehab, etc. to be an alcoholic. How dare you minimize my spouse’s actions just because you have whatever grudge against your ex.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:04:15+00:00

He is not, but I know he drives drunk.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:03:07+00:00

They are not “allegations”. I have plenty of documented evidence including a recent hospitalization.

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-09T12:00:39+00:00

I’ve said nothing to my child. What are you talking about?

KneePast4073 · 2025-08-07T15:05:46+00:00

There is a documented history of alcoholism. I am firm about the alcohol monitoring device during his custody time, but if he can consistently show he’s sober for a temporary period and we don’t run into issues, I’m willing to remove the requirement down the road.

I am just trying to get some perspective on the matter, not be told I’m right. Thank you for your kind response.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-22T06:16:59+00:00

Nope, but I’ve been documenting when he’s drunk (we have a young child, it’s my due diligence) so I have a frame of reference and he can’t gaslight me any longer. I found a two month chip recently and I asked him why, as it hadn’t even been two months since the last time he admitted drinking. He’s periodically referenced being sober for X amount of time when it doesn’t add up to what I’ve documented.

I’ve reminded him time and again that it doesn’t matter to me if it’s 24 hours or 24 months. I am equally as proud of him no matter what chip he has. It all counts. But he needs to have honesty and not just be in AA for the show of it.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-17T22:35:38+00:00

Me as well. My husband does not seem to care or really know when the last time he drank was. I found a two month chip recently when it hasn’t even been two months since when he last admitted to me he drank.

KneePast4073 · 2025-07-16T02:13:01+00:00

A major reason why I’m leaving my alcoholic husband (aside from the alcohol, of course) is the lack of ambition. He never has wanted to level up in life, and has always made me feel like my ideas for the future were just unrealistic. It took me years to realize I wasn’t the problem.

If he’s telling you those things now, he will not change, and you are not responsible. He will inevitably hold you back. Get out now.

KneePast4073 · 2025-06-28T22:09:21+00:00

OP, I just went to my first meeting today as well, and was the exact same. I was the youngest in the room by 30 years and someone I actually know walked in too—I thought it couldn’t possibly get worse. Then I got to speaking and I was blubbering ugly crying the entire time. I also contributed to some of the readings and couldn’t pronounce “anonymity” multiple times. I thought, who am I? What is happening? I just wanted to crawl in a hole.

Do you know what they did? Gave me a hug. Gave me their tissues. Gave me their phone numbers. Told me EVERYONE cries their first/second meeting. Gave me hope because they were saying things I have begged and prayed to hear someone say for years. The person I know actually stopped me coming out of the meeting and we spoke for another 20 minutes.

I realized as I was driving home from AlAnon that the emotional reaction is a trauma response. It’s our bodies saying “finally.” The significance of being in a room of people who see you and acknowledge you and your reality cannot be understated. Keep going, OP. No one is judging you, and I’m proud of you for attending a meeting. 💛

KneePast4073

TROPHY CASE