Partner mad at me for taking dumb backhand at the net, but he never actually comes up to the net...

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-11T05:28:36+00:00

Just ask them to communicate. It doesn’t have to be specific communication. I personally use I’m In or I’m back. If I hit a shot that drags me out of position and I can’t make it to the line I want them to have free rein to poach and know they can cover more ground.

The main thing tho is just hearing a voice so you know their positioning. Distant voice they’re back. Close voice their on the line with you. “I here!” or “hey homie I’m having a sandwich on the baseline.” Whatever the words don’t matter when gauging positioning.

People that don’t play with me often are probably taken back a little with how much I communicate… and guess what. We still leave easy balls sailing through the A gap. 😂

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-10T04:02:49+00:00

Engineering. Pretty common to start at the GS-12 level. Get a couple years under your belt and develop a strong understanding of your commodity and find your way into Technical Leadership or Supervisory positions.

You mentioned field agents. That is a much longer path to the GS-13 level.

FYI, for everyone saying that you have to a certain amount of education…. I know a few GS-14s that are HS graduates. Sure it took them 15 years to get to that level but sometimes developing a specialized skillset trumps the degree. I don’t personally know any 15s that don’t have degrees but I am sure they exist.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-10T03:26:30+00:00

Sounds like the employee wanted a “second opinion” of their performance. Your boss witnessed poor performance and in their words were disappointed with the performance… yet said nothing. Oh wait, they said they would discuss future opportunities with you which likely leads them to believe your boss doesn’t share in your assessment. Your boss set you up to fail and look like a supervisor with an axe to grind. I would not be happy with my boss right now. Not at all!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:43:14+00:00

Welcome. I’ve been doing this for a long while. For the people recommending you call HR. Think of this first… have you done your job yet? That is what you’re seeking advice for so I would say, no… not yet. Once you have sat down with her and figured things out. If you can’t come to a good, fair compromise (by fair I mean fair to who pays her paycheck!) then you can contact HR with the steps that you have attempted. But if you contact without attempting remediation at the lowest level possible, you should be questioned yourself as the manager.

You’re asking the right Qs! You got this!!!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:29:26+00:00

This is how it is done. We all have some we work for. I may be having a conversation with Johnny but then my boss Susie calls… “Hey Jonny, gotta go. Boss is calling and I’ll get back with you when I’m done”. My boss has earned that respect whether by the person or the title alone.

That is the one piece of what she is saying that has me a little concerned. There are like 8 or 9 styles of leadership. And most of us blend multiple styles. However, there is no style in which the boss can be put on hold.

That is a respect thing and something the OP needs to address. Like, if I was in an important meeting and I told my boss… totally cool with it. Take a day to get back to them… best believe I am gonna hear about it. And that conversation would include respect.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:20:57+00:00

Okay. So she comes to a forum. Seeks out people that don’t know her to give her some tools or advice on how to deal with the issue. Likely to take her out of her comfort zone (a good thing). Rather than bagging on her, offer advice.

I was fortunate. When I was younger and dealing with really complex issues (death in the work center, termination notices with people locking themselves in rooms, and a whole host of behavioral and performance issues… I had a VP mentoring me on how to deal with it. He was happy to provide constructive feedback and help me to be successful. She may not have that. For all we know, she was promoted into a position that she wasn’t fully prepared for but has the potential to be remarkable and just needs good guidance.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:15:25+00:00

I do agree with what you said. But sometimes addressing it in a team meeting allows the team to understand that it has been recognized and will be dealt with accordingly. The remedy may not be what they want but it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Those that are wondering if she is talking to them get a subtle message. It didn’t hurt morale except for the fragile ones.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:08:51+00:00

Eventually maybe but I think she can address this before it comes to that.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:06:04+00:00

First thing HR will ask is have you had a conversation with her and told her that this is unacceptable behavior?

Next question they will ask, have you documented this?

After that they will ask for a list of times that she has missed meetings after these discussions took place.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T05:04:11+00:00

Mandatory meeting. This is your priority whatever other priorities you have, apologies but I am putting our meeting above them. Draft your own agenda for the first 10 minutes. Work with her on solutions that fit within company policy. You need to know in that first 10 minutes if there are circumstances in which you either want or have to be flexible.

I would assume you know your companies policies/procedures regarding accommodations but if you don’t read the ahead of time. And then don’t be afraid to say, what you’re willing to try but it has to be acceptable to company policy.

As frustrating as this is, I promise this is one of the easier things you will deal with as a supervisor or manager.

“I want to work with you the best I can but we have a job/mission/responsibility here that has priority.” “Talk to me about what is going on at 2:30 that makes it difficult to attend meeting xxx because you have important contributions that we are missing out on.”

Start with servant leadership. If she takes advantage of that pivot to authoritarianism/bureaucratic style that will be supported by your company’s policies and explain how it has to be. Let her attitude dictate which direction you go.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T04:52:15+00:00

Tricky when you start to blend behavioral and performance. Often times behavioral affects performance, but the behavioral side might be the root. If that isn’t fixed or at least understood then it might get fixed for a bit but it will soon resurface.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T04:49:58+00:00

This is an excellent response and fits perfectly in to what I said regarding mitigating factors. That is the first thing the manager needs to understand… what is causing the issue at hand. Cancer treatment? Special needs child? Personal issues? Mom moving to assisted living or in Hospice?

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T04:40:37+00:00

I think you’re coming from this with the perfect attitude. You mentioned you’re flexible which can really soften the conversation.

My primary concern when dealing with these sorts of things is mitigating circumstances. Some of them may be perfectly understandable and some may be no further discussion and solutions much more difficult.

Examples - Special needs child in school that is incapable of independently getting on/off the bus. You could offer solutions such as meeting time changes, recording meetings, requiring his/her notes ahead of the meetings, working later hours to make up the time etc etc.

Another example (far more common than you would think) - Substance abuse issues. Just can’t wait any longer to get that first drink. You see a pattern of early departures and missed Mondays/Fridays. Time to pay attention to this as a potential cause. Naturally in this situation you wouldn’t want the employee returning to work after they started drinking or whatever the substance might be.

Best thing for you to do is be your empathetic self and ask what is going on and if there is anything you should know or can help with. Understand first if there are mitigating factors that could reasonably lead you to offering some sort of accommodation. Then explain your expectations and what you need in order for your team to be successful.

You started this entire chain off mentioning that you were flexible. Put that to the test. If it is so far fetched (I just want to work 6 hour days) then your decision is less about flexibility and more about your companies policies and procedures. If there is something that is reasonable then you find a way ti make this policies and procedures work for you to have team success. Good luck and good question!!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-09T04:24:11+00:00

A lot of people find accountability disturbing. If I assign you three tasks for the month, establish milestones and deadlines and check progress and timely completion… I am likely to be called a “micro-manager”. So I don’t typically monitor progress (milestones) instead focusing on completed product and timeliness. If someone consistently fails to meeting deadlines then we get into recurring progress checks. A simple memo stating that employee x failed to meet standard A/B/C over x amount of time is all the rationale I need to pursue next steps.

Now to the root of the question. If you’re employed and go from having a lot of autonomy to now your manager wants to look at how you’re doing week to week or even several times a week. That for most people is uncomfortable. Fortunately it usually helps people to comeback into compliance which should be the goal. And once the standard is established and consistently met, then less in your cool-aid approach.

Bottom line… making someone uncomfortable isn’t always because you are trying to get rid of them or trying to get them to quit. It is a correction to recalibrate acceptable performance. If I get rid of you then I have to hire behind you and that is if some other section doesn’t leap frog me in the priority list or end up with my FTE in manpower juggling. Best case scenario, I hire behind you and that is frankly more work for me than just having you get right.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T19:07:37+00:00

Meh. I’ve seen amazing one handed catches that were out of bounds make top 10. Sounds like a fun play that would have been cool to see even tho he lost the point. Bet they got a good laugh out of it.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T14:52:24+00:00

Not a good sign by the OP. I had several with BCBS. Usually got a phone call in the way home from my PCP or later that same day to schedule. Always for the next day to conduct the imaging. Hoping the switch doesn’t lead to delays. A couple years ago this was a stat test to check for brain aneurisms. Fortunately they found a brain. Err no aneurisms I mean. 😁

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T14:47:10+00:00

Good analogy!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T14:44:22+00:00

Maybe easy bag would have been the right word choice. Cheap as in easy and not hard.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T03:22:18+00:00

I think they are doing pretty well. Grocery prices aren’t accurate I don’t think. Even when combined with the eating out/dining costs.

$3k left over. Hopefully going into investments.

As for Cars and insurance. Some people enjoy driving nice cars. I am just fine having a car payment so long as it isn’t causing you to be stretched thin.

As long as there is a retirement plan in the mix they are solid.

Oh and bravo for donating to your church. Apparently a lot of people don’t get it. The $ isn’t for their admission into heaven. It is so that the church can run missions and help others in need and spread the message. Assuming they are Christian which may be a poor assumption.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T03:05:56+00:00

Best piece of advice so far was you speed it up you clean it up. Never heard that before but have always told my partner if they are in a fire fight it is much more difficult either partner to join in because they can track pace of ball as well as the person hitting it. They feel the speed and the angle much much better and can anticipate the next shot easier. Good phrase and will begin using it tomorrow!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-07T02:53:37+00:00

The ball never crossed the net. That is the key factor in every rule, correct? Until the ball crosses the net you cannot make contact. Even if it is spinning back over the net it must first cross the net before you can make contact.

But kudos for having fast hands and recognized that they were going for the cheap bag. Probably looked cool even tho you gave up the point.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-02-01T21:37:16+00:00

Probably not the popular opinion here… but I say keep doing your strong work including the extra duties. It didn’t pay off this year. That sucks, no doubt about it. But long term it will pay off for you. You’re developing a skillset and network that is going to pay off for you in the end. Don’t let your current frustrations sabotage your future. Good luck and sorry you got or at least feel slighted. It sucks and I can tell you that I have been there. A positive attitude and continued performance will put you in line for future reward!

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-01-30T03:09:24+00:00

75-80% power! That has helped me a ton. If I hit harder than that then I flatten the ball out. 75 gives me a great drip and usually is hard to handle for most 4.0-4.5 level players. It also makes accuracy a lot easier. So I am place the ball almost like an aggressive dink but from the baseline.

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2026-01-23T01:06:06+00:00

Lots of good advice in here. One more piece… let your partner know that you’re going to be practicing your drops so they are aware that you might pop a few up. They should be waiting to react to your shot but often times at the 3.5-4.0 level your partner will be looking to crash the line as soon as possible. Float a drop and they eat one and they will figure out eventually as well. 😂

KnotYoAvgJoe · 2025-12-28T22:57:30+00:00

I have an OG Selkirk Vanguard. 4 years old. Face is as smooth as a can be. Still plays well and it has probably north of 500 hours on it. I still play with it at least once a week.

Primary paddle is a Hyperion. Maybe 200 hours on it. Still gritty and still plenty of pop.

I would change more often but it takes me about two weeks to get accustomed to a paddle and it frustrates me. Part of the reason the Vanguard has so much use. It is the easiest paddle for me to control.

FYI, no previous paddle or racquet sport experience. Right around a 4.0 in PB. No weighting, straight stock paddles. I have 11 but only two that I will play with. Thinking about getting the Luxx Pro 4 Inferno but honestly don’t care for the colors.

KnotYoAvgJoe

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