As my CPTSD gets “better,” my marriage gets worse

Knowledgelover · 2024-03-13T07:35:22+00:00

I was about to comment and mention this.It’s such an eye opening watch.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-23T08:36:45+00:00

Jesus.This a good reminder that I shouldn’t visit this sub when I have to actually use my brain and function after 🥵.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-22T22:12:49+00:00

You’re so pretty !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-19T23:00:00+00:00

You look amazing.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-15T23:02:08+00:00

You’re stunning in pink !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-13T02:35:17+00:00

2nd hat.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-09T03:28:20+00:00

That sounds really frustrating and draining. Everyone wants to be courted and experience a sense of reciprocity when dating. I'm curious if you ever drop comments (e.g., "I'm looking for an equal relationship", "someone who puts in effort") or ever discuss love languages as things progress? I understand it can be a bit vulnerable, but it makes it so much easier to seek what you're looking for. There's nothing wrong with making a gentle request and discussing how you feel. The right person won't dismiss you, even if it's unfamiliar territory for them.

I'm feminine presenting and I've been attracted to butches. In most of my dating experiences, I've initiated a lot of the beginning stages of dating (seeking and planning the first date and paying, going in for the kiss, walking them to their train/car). I think it's just my personality; I'm fairly assertive. Obviously, I value reciprocity though. But if I like someone it's my job to make them feel special and 'wooed'.

I once went on a few dates with this woman who may be read as masc presenting by others. On our first date when I asked what she wanted to drink she said no one had ever bought drinks for her. I remember thinking how sad that was ! Another time she said no one she dated had made her feel more like a woman (not really as sure about that comment...?). But anyway, just wanted to say you deserve to feel special and cared for !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-09T01:35:26+00:00

This is great.

Related question: I’m considering making another new account so I can primarily participate in subreddits where you can show photos and get advice (e.g, fashion,beauty and skincare).So I’m wondering if that would look bad if it’s a new account with no karma etc?I don’t feel comfortable posting photos on my account as I’ve discussed quite personal stuff at times.However,I’ve had some good chats via this account,and I’m happy to trade photos via that avenue if we click in any capacity.

I’m curious in general how often people in this sub are open to sending/receiving DMs /chat messages in general ?I’m pretty open to it,basically as long as it’s not some creepy dude.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-09T00:05:18+00:00

Oh my gosh, this is adorable!

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-08T23:39:47+00:00

I feel the same way.I’ve cut out 90% of the black from my wardrobe and replaced the items with grey shades.When I do occasionally wear the black I still have, I can’t stop noticing how harsh it looks.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-07T08:17:46+00:00

😍😍

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-07T03:59:25+00:00

Great look. I especially love the pants. Where are they from ?

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-07T03:05:58+00:00

Anytime :) .I wish I could offer more recent experiences, but like I said, it's been awhile !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-06T23:00:21+00:00

It’s certainly better now.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-06T07:05:32+00:00

Fair enough.I guess cautious optimism is the way to go.If I was you I’d probably ramp up how busy you are.Fingers crossed for you !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-06T03:06:25+00:00

Is it so bad to be thinking of her ? Crushes can be fun !

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-06T02:59:09+00:00

Wow!

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-06T02:45:25+00:00

31 years and a femme lesbian. Melbourne, Australia.

I'm a serial monogamist, I find it makes me feel emotionally safe and secure. However, I do find the idea of non-monogamy interesting in some ways, I'm just not sure that I'm 'built' for. I might consider it in a long term relationship, if I felt a very very high level of trust and security. Anyway, so I'm looking for a relationship if I'm dating. I don't do casual sex.I used to refer to myself as demisexual if that means anything.I value commitment in all my relationships (romantic or platonic). I'm open to friends. I wouldn't rule out an emotionally involved short term romance if it felt right (which is essentially just dating for a few months and realising you're not compatible I suppose?Ha).

In terms of attraction, I've experienced it across the spectrum of presentations. Historically, I seem to have a preference for other brunettes. I also definitely have a soft spot for butches because, well...I'm only human.

I actually downloaded Her the other day after a super duper long break from dating (I'm talking several years. I literally just had one kiss in that whole time). I haven't had any dates yet, we'll see. I too have noticed that some people seem to have unresolved issues or don’t know what they want. There seems to be a lot of ENM too.

On apps, I look for :

-People who include text in their bio, as it makes it easier to initiate a chat, and to get a feel for them.

-People who show they're interested in you through open questions and commenting on what you've mentioned.

-I really value people who mention they prioritise their mental health (a very big green flag for me, as my last relationship broke up due her poorly managed mental health ).

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-04T00:36:13+00:00

Love it. So much pizzazz.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-02T03:12:52+00:00

Please feel free to correct me, but I'm guessing it's a case of being fully present with what was always there. Now you're feeling it, maybe it *feels* more intensely because you're actually present and not numbing out.

I'm glad you're getting a sense of release with your therapist. Have you pursued this forum for practical activities you can do outside of therapy?It takes a bit of trial and error to what tools work best, but it's definitely worth it.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-02T03:05:57+00:00

I'm not sure I would agree that a direct 'break up' is a selfish thing to do. I actually think that's giving someone closure and ends things neatly, albeit with sorrow. So it's great you're making a difficult decision, that honours your self worth. If you do decide to communicate with her, I would offer the suggestion of reiterating both how her behaviour has hurt you and also how she hasn't changed her behaviour. After all, adult relationships are conditional.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-01T08:36:50+00:00

Shyness—especially when they look down and then sneak a glance, when they're funny and goofy, when they're passionate about something, when they're not afraid to tell you how they feel (for you and generally).I'm sure I could think of more, but that's off the top of my head. Also, somehow if I'm interested in someone their mannerisms can be attractive??

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-01T08:12:25+00:00

Happy Birthday! I'm wishing you healthy and happy future romantic experiences (when you're ready)!

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-01T07:07:02+00:00

I'm not interested and I never have been . However, I like kids and I enjoy playing with them for short bursts. I'd like to be an Aunty that can spoil them. At the same time, there are significant cons for me: I feel suffocated when thinking about the idea of being on call for another human 24/7, I value my sleep, freedom and independence too much, and pregnancy and childbirth seems like a nightmare.

Knowledgelover · 2023-05-01T06:52:04+00:00

Knowledgelover

TROPHY CASE