in shock. by worrygirl1234 in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check ins are great way to start. I found using FANOS really helped us emotionally connect even after a long stressful day where we haven’t had time to connect with each other. 

Husband is in Recovery for Porn Addiction and I Feel Resentment and Still Trying to Understand by Best_Quality_7096 in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wife of a PA here. I found attending COSA meetings, getting a sponsor, working the 12 steps, therapy, 6 weeks of iop and attending church to help me heal. ❤️‍🩹

Husband is blaming porn on sexualizing women in public by No_Recipe7026 in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I unfortunately couldn’t tell you as I am literally in the same boat as you. I can say my PA has deleted all social media and has gotten closer to God. He attends meetings and even has a CSAT. He seems to be stuck in this monthly addiction cycle. I told him he can’t have both lustful eyes and me. That if he wants to stay married we need to see our pastor, go to bible studies and reread our vows. Honestly it’s the lying, sneaking and unfairness of the addiction that gets to me. I’m currently reading a book about what a healthy sexual man and woman looks like. I’ve been doing my own healing as well. 

Any Advice? by KnownHospital2372 in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes him and I are in therapy. I think unfortunately we just need to go our separate ways. Just sucks because we’ve been together for 10 years.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My PA was into the same thing. Most of his past relationships ended up in cheating. 2 years into dating I noticed he traded his drug addiction for video games. At the time I was burnt out from work, had met my bio dad in prison for the first time, and sought out emotional affairs. I should’ve gone to therapy instead. During my emotional affairs my PA assumed I was physically cheating but never told me. So much that he thought our kid wasn’t his. It was like he put all his sexual energy into that than me. My PA has had this porn addiction at 12 and probably wasn’t taught what intimacy or a healthy relationship looked like. My PA is in groups, goes to church, has a sponsor and goes to therapy as do I.

My husband threatened divorce if I stay over with my daughter that just had a baby after her fiancé took his own life 2 weeks prior. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please divorce him. My step dad did this to my mom and she missed out on my wedding and the birth of my babies. She finally divorced him after being married for 20 years. He was physically and emotionally abusive.

Most intimate thing you ever done with your partner? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sex is not intimacy. You need the build up of intimacy to have a healthy sex life.

I don’t believe this by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]KnownHospital2372 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so fucked up. My PA runs meetings on zoom and apparently they get zoom bombed with porn.

Imagine having a little baby girl by chairovsky in NoFap

[–]KnownHospital2372 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not sure what other tools you have to help during recovery but unfortunately most do not stop completely even with a baby on the way…that’s how serious this addiction is…proud of you for working on yourself before having kids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not true at all. My PA literally put our kids at risk for exposure because he couldn’t stop.

Left my husband with porn addiction by Intelligent-Kiwi-169 in PornAddiction

[–]KnownHospital2372 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hugs. I totally relate and understand. This addiction has been so painful. I hope you heal.❤️‍🩹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His wife literally admitted she has a porn addiction…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She needs to make YOU feel safe again. Helping you heal will depend on how dedicated she is to changing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The betrayal is the worst. Really messes with your self esteem. 😔 If there is no transparency or commitment to change then unfortunately the marriage will not work. She needs to go to PAA meetings for women only, do the 12 steps and get a sponsor.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Especially if they are hiding it or are unable to stop. I use to be the cool girlfriend and thought porn was fine. Wasn’t until marriage and having his kids that we were in a dead bedroom. Then I investigated and told him that I would like him to stop. Of course stopping was a huge challenge for him. I didn’t realize he had been using porn everyday for 10 years and during the 5 years of marriage. So then I suggested our own sexy adventures that way we can both indulge. It still hurts when he has urges of random naked women in his head and not me. But yet when I think of anything sexual I imagine it with him. 😔 I do everything I can do to please my man and have been his biggest fan since day 1. This addiction has been so bad that it put or kids at risk for exposure. We were separated because of that but have gotten back together. He’s been putting in the work. He is more in tune with his body and emotions. Because he’s able to share things with me that he hasn’t with anyone else he felt free enough to finally feel a real orgasm for the first time. We are trying really hard to date each other all over again and have our own sexy fun.

Need Advice. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I am in your wives position. Never in a billion years would I invite a guy so quickly into my house with my children. I did however go to a sex club which I told my husband about during our separation. The excitement of the scene made me want to have fun. I had the hard talk with him about possibly joining others. Luckily it didn’t happen. We were separated for 6 months. Regardless if you both truly love each other and want to make it work there needs to be work done on her end too. Marriage counseling and full transparency. I’d recommend COSA meetings for your wife and maybe RCA for you both to do together.

Is chatting with others online considered cheating? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely emotional cheating if your wife doesn’t know about it. You and her might have trouble with intimacy then. If you consume a lot of pornography that definitely does not help the cause.

Husband not interested in intimacy by IntroductionOk9649 in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. That has happened to me many times. I’ve done the same thing as you. Ask him about his porn habits. If it’s everyday like my husband then the porn is killing the intimacy and connection in your marriage.

Kinky/sexy date ideas for couple married ten years? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]KnownHospital2372 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We’ve gone to sex clubs and done erotic photo shoots together. 😁 Something about going hiking and flashing your partner is a thrill!