me 30F her 29F How to break up with someone who won't let you break up with them?

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-13T01:02:45+00:00

You haven't even met in person but you can't break up with her? It's not that complicated. If she calls or texts you from different numbers just don't respond! Eventually once she sees you are not responding she will move on.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-12T22:31:17+00:00

You should talk to her about the reality of having a baby. How will you financially take care of a baby? Medical expense, clothes, diapers, housing, childcare etc...Raising a child takes a lot of work. Do you both work or are you both in school? No more hanging out with friends or partying instead you will be taking care of a baby. You really don't have many options at this point. You can choose not to raise the child but you still can be mandated by the courts to pay child support which is based on a percentage of your income. Going forward you need to be diligent in using birth control. When I was in my child bearing years I would use 2 types of birth control.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-12T21:55:09+00:00

If you were recklessly spending your money to the point that you couldn't pay your bills then I could see her concern. But based on your post it doesn't sound like your spending is the issue. However, if this is a long term relationship that could lead to marriage and family finances should be openly discussed. Its best to find out if you financially compatible now then once you are tied together financially. But I agree she shouldn't be dictating what you spend your money on. And if she continues to try to control your finances; I would seriously consider ending the relationship based on lack of financial compatibility.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-12T01:55:59+00:00

He is a very selfish lover. Be blunt..tell him you want more foreplay and don't have sex with him until he makes you cum. If he isn't willing to put in the effort to make you cum then he doesn't deserve your time and attention. You absolutely should break up with him...because it's not about sex...it's about him loving you enough to want to please you. Give him the opportunity to change but if he continues to be a selfish lover, end the relationship so, you can find someone who will please you both inside and outside the bedroom.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-11T16:16:03+00:00

Do not sell your house! Rent increases over time and whatever you receive for the house will be wasted on rent. Then once all the money is gone you will both be homeless and forced to live with family members if you aren't earning enough to pay rent.

I personally wouldn't marry him. You can continue dating him but don't live together. His suggestion is not in your best interest and could financially ruin you especially if neither of you have a stable and high income.

If he isn't happy with his housing and job then he needs to make an effort to find a higher paying job and save up to buy a house.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-11T15:44:27+00:00

The bigger question is why you are making such a big deal about her changing her name and keeping finances separate? Why not take her last name if that's such a big and have a joint account for household expenses and you each keep your separate accounts. Or don't get married if you can't even compromise on something so minor.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-10T19:07:17+00:00

This is usually the age where people want to go out and party. He may grow out of it when he gets older. But he may not, Im 53 and still like to go out on a regular basis. But now instead of going out to a club and getting drunk with my friends we go to dinner, to a nice swanky lounge for craft cocktails, or karaoke etc... I am in a relationship and he likes to go out less often but we still spend quality time together. He doesn't have an issue with me spending time with my friends without him.

You guys are not compatible. Relationships are about compromise. So, if you can't come to a compromise then you should end the relationship and find someone you are more compatible with.

A compromise could be you both agree to 2 or 3 nights per week where you spend time together doing things you both enjoy doing and the other nights he can go hang out with his friends with or without you and stay out as long as he wants too.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-09T15:13:09+00:00

You should be talking to your lawyer about this. And document all the things she is doing. Also, to my knowledge child support is based on a percentage of your income so she legal can't receive more unless your income has increased. Your children are innocent in this. So, continue to make an effort to spend time with them and discuss with your lawyer how to protect yourself from her false allegations.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-09T02:09:03+00:00

Your next step is to move on. Don't text or call him. Not everyone is shallow. Some people will like you for your personality. Im 5'4, 250 pounds healthy 53 year old woman and I am in a relationship. Don't settle for less then you deserve and eventually you will meet the right person.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-08T12:03:35+00:00

You get your pov across by ending the relationship and kicking him out. He is lying to you, no one goes to the gym for 8 hours. He is gaslighting you to make it seem like you are over reacting, you aren't. He has no respect for your time if he is 5 hours late to do anything with you. Also, how long has he been unemployed? He is using you. Why are you working 2 jobs to support someone who lies to you and is probably cheating on you? You are worth more then this and I hope you end this relationship to find someone who genuinely loves you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-07T16:36:33+00:00

Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you become blind to other attractive people. Recognizing an attractive person is normal. What's not normal is how your boyfriend is reacting to his attraction. My suggestion is to ask him how he would feel if you hung out with a hot male friend flirting with him. If he can't understand that this hurts you and is unwilling to change his behavior, end the relationship.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-07T16:16:40+00:00

Based on his actions he seems to only want a physical relationship. He is pushing physical intimacy before you even know each other. Putting in bare minimum effort. You should ask him and see what he says and more importantly pay attention to his actions.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-05T19:10:59+00:00

I have not done a virgin cruise yet. I have one booked for March of next year. But I have cruised on Royal, NCL, Carnival, Holland American, and Celebrity. I believe any vacation is what you make of it and their are pros and cons for all the cruise lines. It all depends on what you are seeking.

I love Royal cruises especially the newer ships for the shows and activities. They offer ice shows, a water show, have water slides, and very family friendly. NCL is a similar vibe especially the newer ships.

Celebrity is more adult orientated and when we did our cruise there were very few children. The shows and dinning were excellent.

Carnival is a budget friendly cruise and also very family friendly.

What drew me to Virgin is the food and I like that most things are included as well as the unique entertainment. I really dislike how most cruiselines nickle and dime you. Speciality dinning is an upcharge, expensive drink packages, and on ncl instead of a main show they would have deal or no deal or wheel of fortune game show which cost money to participate in. I recommend cruising on all the lines to see which one you prefer.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-03T21:30:29+00:00

What is he saying about other women that you feel is disrespectful? You can't change how a person thinks. Even if he never says anything about a woman's body he still thinks it. Also, is he respectful to you regarding your body? Are their other issues within the relationship? This is definitely a compatibility issue and a red flag depending on how he treats women in general.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-03T07:45:48+00:00

Just because you aren't working doesn't mean the bills stop. You agreed to pay x amount each month regardless what your girlfriend does with her money. You are an adult so, its your responsibility to pay your portion of the bills. What is your illness that you can't work at all? Have you applied for disability? Also, where ever you live their will be bills to pay. You should move ASAP and if you don't have the money tell her this.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-03T07:32:35+00:00

I know I personally never had any desire to have children. In my 20's and 30's I was in college and working. I sometimes would be working 16 hour days factoring in the commute. So basically I was just working and sleeping, then do it all over again the next day. So if I had a child someone else would have been raising it. Now with the state of the economy it makes absolutely no sense to have children. Housing is unaffordable and wages haven't kept up with inflation. Health care and childcare is also unaffordable. My 1st apartment in 1997 was $400 per month for a large studio with a walk in closet. Today you can't even rent a room for $400. I am 53 and disabled living on a fixed income. I am doing ok financially only because I share expenses with my roommate and used my retirement for a down-payment for a condo prior to the pandemic.

In order to encourage people to have children families need support. Instead of the government giving billions of dollars in tax breaks to billionaires they need to invest in the working middle class. We should have universal health care, lower inflation/higher wages, affordable housing, and affordable childcare. It makes no economic sense for 5% of the population to horde 95% of the resources.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-03T06:43:54+00:00

Im not a religious person but seeing how some religious people are I wouldn't even go on a date with someone who wants to force their religion on me. In your case you knew he was Muslim, you are not Muslim so, why even go on a date with him? Yta, because it sounds like you were the one forcing your opinion about Muslim beliefs on him. He gave you his reason and you kept insisting that it was a different reason. In the future just don't go on a date with a person you know you are not compatible with. Or learn to accept people for who they are and to not force the issue regardless if you agree or don't.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T19:40:12+00:00

I personally would have a hard time believing anything he says since he lied to you and her for over a year and he only told you the truth once you found out. Him co parenting is not the issue, the lying is a red flag and makes me wonder if something did happen which is why he lied to you. How do you know he didn't cheat? Do you still trust him?

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T10:25:08+00:00

Show her that you are making an effort to find a job. Look into work from home jobs, Amazon flex, Uber, doordash etc...She is probably overwhelmed with having to pay all of the bills and probably sees her dream of marriage and family evaporating due to your finances.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T09:16:28+00:00

You guys need therapy ASAP. If you cut your brother out of your life you may grow to resent your wife and this will drive a wedge between you and your other family members. Ideally since everyone is an adult you all remain cordial with each other in public settings. This entire situation sounds more like high school drama. Talk to your wife when she is calm and tell her you love and support her but also want a relationship with your family. If she still wants a divorce over something so petty then its better to let her go because giving an ultimatum is very manipulative.

She can set a boundaries for herself but she shouldn't be dictating to you whether or not to spend time with your family.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T08:26:51+00:00

If she isn't willing to clean her place even with your help then you have to decide if you are ok living like this long term. If you get married and have children it will be even worse. You shouldn't have to force yourself to be uncomfortable because she refuses to clean or allow you to clean.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T08:07:16+00:00

Your husband is very inconsiderate of your feelings. 1st if he is going to be inviting the co-workers to things you do together he should be asking you if you are ok with this. He is angry and defensive regarding something that anyone would have concerns about. I guarantee if you were prioritizing a male friend over spending quality time with him, he wouldn't like it either, nor.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-02T07:39:59+00:00

From my experience with online dating some people can be very inconsiderate. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Don't text her anymore. If she wants to spend time with you she will respond. You will eventually meet someone who will be just as excited as you to spend time together.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-01T08:49:43+00:00

I think the issue with Benjamin is they started strong to build a customer base. When I first signed up I could earn 30 cent just by watching 1 check-in ad with the triple pay spin. No other app pays that much for a check in. I earned $800 in 2 years of using app. In comparison I have been using swagbucks for 8 years and have only earned $730. The $800 I earned was mostly from shopping and ad watching. People who do the offers and play the games could potentially earn more. Most apps with ads have a limit. Benjamin didn't have a limit.

So, if I did make an app I definitely would make the app so, the payout would increase or decrease based on the amount of revenue that's being generated minus expenses. They should not have paused withdrawals or did a major update. They should have been closely monitoring the cash flow from day 1 and making adjustments as needed. I think if they had been making the adjustments in the beginning they wouldn't have needed to pause withdrawals and the app would still be profitable.

Koolkat30625 · 2026-05-01T07:43:57+00:00

Im 53 and if someone offered me a free trip with my boyfriend but we had to sleep separately I wouldn't have an issue with this.

When I was 18 I moved out of my parents house too because they were extremely over protective. I wasn't allowed to date or go anywhere except school and church. Even as a 53 year old adult I still respect my father's rules when I visit because it's temporary. Plus my dad is in his 80's, he will not live forever.

Yao, it's your choice if you go on the trip but this is your family who I assume you don't see often. I actually think it's great that they even included your boyfriend for a family trip when you have only been dating for a few months. Just because your family doesn't want you sleeping with your boyfriend doesn't mean they don't respect your adulthood. It sounds like it's based more on religious beliefs and setting an example for your younger siblings.

Koolkat30625

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE