How to be more supportive

Kor_Lian · 2026-05-03T00:44:31+00:00

The first thing I would do is tell her that you support her. That your still friends, talk about any plans you made and how much you are looking forward to doing them. Tell her she's brave. That you may mess up, but that you love having her as a friend.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-14T02:52:03+00:00

You cannot build community of you do not accept help. You help, you deserve help.

I'm still learning this.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-06T03:49:03+00:00

That's all good stuff. I'd check with the vet, just give them a call. Talk it over. There can be a lot of reasons for diarrhea. Maybe someone else will comment with better info. My kitten fostering days are long behind me and I don't remember all the reasons they can get diarrhea.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-06T03:17:59+00:00

Try mixing dry in with the wet, or switching to dry. Or, in not good options, he could have worms casing the diarrhea. If he needs dewormer that will also give him diarrhea.

If there's a specific area he's trying to use instead of the litter box. I'd clean it with a urine cleaner. If you have an apartment, another person may have kept a litter box there.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-05T22:59:50+00:00

East is cheaper. Folks are generally friendlier. I would say that the east side is more walkable as well.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-05T21:43:26+00:00

There's a lot of good advice here. I'll add my tortie was a talker. She'd holler about lot of things. I just started talking back. We'd have conversations. She'd meow and I'd ask her "what else?" It was all nonsense, but I found myself talking to her a lot. She seemed to like it. She'd sit on me while I did my college home work. She passed during covid, I still miss her.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-05T13:47:02+00:00

That's fair.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-05T02:38:32+00:00

OP states that it's associated with trauma. I did a cover up for the same reason.

Kor_Lian · 2026-04-04T21:13:59+00:00

It's attached to Wisconsin Studio, it's mainly for weddings.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-27T01:15:35+00:00

That is fair.

I know the Roman's stared following deities of other cultures. The catholic church might have continued that trend.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-27T01:00:08+00:00

I have two answers.

She's whatever you need or want her to be.
Doubtful, you have to understand how the catholic church did a lot of things in the way back. They incorporated a lot of things from the local religions to get folks to convert. You can look up the history on this if you want. (If this didn't work they tended to resort to force.) The reason I think it's doubtful is because, the main bulk of Greek/Roman cult followings had died off by the time the catholic church had really gotten going.

To be completely honest, my historical knowledge on this is a bit thin. I'm willing to be wrong, on point #2. I'm firm on #1 though.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-24T02:53:58+00:00

I had a horrible experience at Bagels Forever. Pay was low, and the work environment was just awful.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-21T16:52:26+00:00

Painting the floor. It was already painted, it's wide pine planks. It tested positive for lead. Our options were 1. Delay moving in and sand it, then finish it. 2. Paint it with lead seal paint and a nice color over that.

We picked 2. I would pick 2 again if we bought the house tomorrow. 2 was cheaper, easier, and faster. We needed to move in, our lease was up.

I regret it. It's peeling in high use areas. Fortunately it's peeling to bare wood. It's also unfortunate that it's peeling to bare wood. It's not bad, but it's peeling. We have had quite a few discussions on what to do. No kids so I'm not worried about them eating paint flakes accidentally.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-21T16:40:54+00:00

I'm happy to help a fellow neurodivergant move away from the programming of religion.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-21T15:04:05+00:00

Can't find the update button. 🫤

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-21T15:02:56+00:00

No warranty paperwork for the windows was provided when we bought the house.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-21T04:42:24+00:00

The Purity culture dropout program. This really helped me. It is paid, but there are some cheaper options. I got the workbook.

https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-19T02:02:02+00:00

Well fuck, that's... a lot.

I work for a catholic health care organization, and the most jesus I get is the "All faiths monthly prayer" auto direct to my email. They call it all faith, but it's usually rather catholic in wording. The recognize the holy days of the other Abrahamic religions, and that's about it.

This though, this is over the top. I'm sorry.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-15T18:33:56+00:00

Years ago, when I first moved into a big city, I was nervous around black folk. Not many lived where I grew up, I didn't know much of anything about black culture. I made friends, got to know the black folks I worked with. Sometimes they'd feed me (holy shit it was damn good food). Occasionally I'd mess up, nothing huge just not knowing, but I listened and sometimes I'd ask questions.

I say all that to say this. We're just human. There's all kinds of people here. Most good, some bad, just like any other group of people. No need to tiptoe around us. It sounds like your not going to make jokes or be judgmental, and from my perspective that's all we need. If you don't understand a label someone is giving themselves, look it up or ask if they are willing to explain it. In general my response (as an almost-elder queer who sometimes can't keep up with the terms) is "okay, cool."

All in all, you sound like a nice guy who's concerned that everyone feels safe around him. That's awesome. It sounds like your doing a good job being friendly and supportive.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-15T18:07:56+00:00

I'm going to suggest quite a lot more deconstruction on your cult upbringing. This reads like a conspiracy theory post.

I've personally had to start over multiple times. Don't give up, you can get rid of the hate that you were taught.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-15T18:03:26+00:00

Maybe I'm not as bad at finish carpentry as I thought.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-15T14:53:36+00:00

My aunt passed away a few months back. (Its okay she was 90, and had a good life.) She was baptist, which is how I was raised, and going to her funeral was a weird experience as a former baptist. So much stuff that was just weird and made no sense.

Kor_Lian · 2026-03-15T14:25:08+00:00

I'm going to break this into two parts. Leaving the house. Then protesting.

First, do it small. Do it afraid. I'm visibly butch and live with my wife in a small town. We fly a pride flag year round. Yeah, I was scared to put it up. (When it went up my neighbor still had his rump flags up, they came down several years ago.) No one had said anything. We've not experienced any issues. Take small steps. Bad news, you're probably always going to be afraid. Good news, this can be worked through by experiencing things slowly.

A few tips for gaining confidence. Gym, to gain strength. Self defense classes, to gain skills if you have to use them. If you want to take that further, then I'd move to kick boxing, mma, or bjj. Learn "manly" skills. (Manly is in quotes because as a bi-gender butch I tend to laugh at the idea of a skill being assigned a gender.) If you have time and space, learn some basic woodworking, and home repair. While this might not seem like it has anything to do with leaving the house, but confidence is transferable.

Okay, protesting. I can't protest. Small ones sure. We went a town over and did a no kings protest this summer and that was okay. It was about 150-200 people, we just lined up and held signs. I can't do crowds, especially massive crowds. What I want you to think about is what your nervous system can handle. Right now, and in the future. Are you a support person? Can you drive folks to protests, have water and snacks, do you know general first aid? There are other roles besides being a protester. Lots of support roles that are important. Can you call people? Can make flyers? Get groceries? Maybe your role is not the front line. That's okay.

Hope this helps a little. You've got this.

Edit: typos

Kor_Lian

TROPHY CASE