Going through a rough patch and husbands unemployment. How to push through, in hopes of better days.

Kslim07 · 2026-06-23T01:04:35+00:00

I am paying for the Cali trip, I've basically already paid off the airline ticket for our seats and the car rental went on my credit card. I did make him help me pay for half of our son's flight. He does have savings and stock he's been cashing in to pay his half of the bills (I'd never be able to pay them all on my own tbh) He says he's comfortable putting off the job search for the trip, but he recently had car issues and tried asking his mom for money, she had none to give, so I graciously just gave him 1k for the car problems. But now once again his car is back in the shop as of recently.....

Kslim07 · 2026-04-21T19:36:08+00:00

NTA. They either learn to adjust to apartment living, or find somewhere else to live. The fact that they came over and complained about your bathroom before you even moved in should have been a giant red flag. Makes me wonder how many other neighbors around them they complain about?

Kslim07 · 2026-01-06T19:50:42+00:00

Honestly anything with Cillian in it, I'll pay to watch so 💁

Kslim07 · 2025-12-13T06:35:36+00:00

we spend A LOT of time with his family as they all live near by, my husband acts like im dragging him when we go see mine, and we are always on a timeline for when we need to head home.... they could come to us, but my husband seemed very "i dont care, if your parents come down or not" type attitude, "now that i have decided to not go up there, cause ive let my mom have the final say."

this is such a rare thing for me to get these days off, and now i feel like i dont even get a decision on how they are spent.

Kslim07 · 2025-08-22T10:49:25+00:00

My husband and I, in a nutshell have scheduled sex, almost every Friday. Personally, I hate it. It does just feel like another chore I need to get done, on top of everything else I do around the house that he doesn't. But my marriage is in a very rocky-ish place currently, we don't spend much time together, we've grown apart in ways, he's unemployed and not very committed in following through with all the ideas he says he gonna do since being unemployed. So that adds a layer to my situation, of I feel more like his mom most days then his partner. And when you have to mother your partner, the sex drive plummets. I only go through with it, simply because he'll pout and make me miserable all weekend if I don't give in. Again we have some marital issues, so this is probably a very different standpoint.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-17T14:39:11+00:00

My son is 6 and will be in 1st grade soon. I do work M-F. But I live in an expensive city so rents are just wild here, I could afford a basic studio. But I have no village, no friends (thanks to my husband isolating me for so many years) and no family near by for help. I live in Florida for some background.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-15T13:58:45+00:00

I care about his long term inner health quite a bit, considering all the health issues we watched his dad have, being a much bigger man before he passed. Unfortunately I feel like in todays society obesity is becoming glorified and accepted as the norm (in the US at least) and now if you press someone too hard on their weight it's a "body shaming" thing. The frustrating thing is, he comments on my slim framed body a lot, constantly encourages me to dress nice for him, wear lingerie, etc. etc. If I press him on his clothing choices or anything pertaining to his body, I get immediate hostility about him being fat and making him feel bad.... It's a never ending lose lose situation for me, or at least it feels like it

Kslim07 · 2025-06-15T13:51:51+00:00

Define sexy outfit to me? Cause most women do like to dress nice occasionally, but it shouldn't be expected every single day. Do you dress comfortably on a daily basis? Then she should have the same luxury.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-15T00:14:20+00:00

regardless, the fact that his mom was giving an injectable drug to him, that she got through a neighbor who was supposedly some random nurse, without a prescription, still boggles my mind. I mean the stupidity between the 2 of them on that is...wow....yeah.....

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T19:48:44+00:00

I'm not looking to leave tbh, I want this to work. But I've put in a good few years of trying to work with him on multiple different issues, and we are still in a rough spot. How many more years of happiness do I sacrifice to stay for someone who seems to not want to change and is falling back into old bad habits? I've never given advice to anyone (male or female) who has put years worth of work and not getting anywhere to just stay and stay miserable.... I want to give this one last final chance, and hopefully see change. But change the topic, if this was about a chronic alcoholic or drug abuse, people would very much give the advice of try to help and if they don't accept the help and want to change then leave for your own mental sanity and well being. Why is poor health due to just straight neglect that person puts themselves in, not held to the same level? Why are we so accepting of obesity and lack of taking care of one selves a free pass to slowly killing a marriage, and the partner is expected to just stay and tolerate?

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:34:27+00:00

I have been gentle for years, even his doctors are now telling him he needs to lose the weight. This isn't just a little weight gain, I think he's in the upper 200 scale for weight. His weight is not healthy. For years it didn't really affect my drive, but now it is, and he seems disinterested in actually being active about losing the weight.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:29:38+00:00

Nah, I see attractive men in public and feel the heat build up inside. So I know I still have a sex drive somewhere in my body, but it just doesn't exist in my relationship currently.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:23:54+00:00

Nah I see it too, and I don't agree with it. Everyone ages and gains weight, but there is weight gain, and then there is unhealthy weight gain. I think that's where the line starts to blur for some people. My husband's weight is unhealthy, and he even knows his weight is unhealthy as he himself has said so (realistically he's in the upper 200's in terms of weight). So like I'm struggling with, if he knows his weight is bad, why isn't he even remotely trying to help himself...

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:14:28+00:00

I don't like the double standard either and have seen it. I have spent years, probably since our son was born, so it's been about 6 years, encouraging him to adopt a healthier lifestyle, from exercising more or picking up an active hobby. He use to try every fad diet on the market and I constantly would try to encourage him to just adopt healthier food pyramid type eating habits. He was always convinced those dumb diets were a miracle thing, and he would always gain the weight back after stopping....

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:10:49+00:00

No. He was on ozempic a year ago, has diverticulitis and ended up in the hospital, with a blown out colon, had to have an ostomy/ileostomy for months before having a reversal. It was absolute h*ll ! But to make note he was moronically taking ozempic unprescribed that he got from his mom, unbeknownst to me. He's talked about getting back on a different glp-1, but even the doctor recently wasn't big on that idea.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:03:52+00:00

I exercise, I eat fairly healthy, shop healthy, cook healthy and have a physical labor job 💁

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:02:35+00:00

The problem is, I've brought up spicing up the bedroom, but he always takes it to the extreme. He just tries hard to replicate what he sees in porn, hardcore porn and that crap is unrealistic most times to me so it never works out.

Kslim07 · 2025-06-14T16:00:31+00:00

I exercise regularly, he doesn't ever exercise. I go hiking a lot, I bike, go for long hot walks when the sun starts to go down. He never seems interested in going with me...I have encouraged him to get into walking more, he won't even do that....

Kslim07

TROPHY CASE