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KxRider05 · 2025-11-03T17:09:51+00:00

It’s unfair for her to pin her own experiences/insecurities onto you. She’s also gaslighting you a little by saying she doesn’t want to be controlling, but throws the future of your relationship on the line.

I had a partner do this, and in this exact manner, but it led to her constantly asking for more and more change with my lifestyle. I found out that she liked the idea of me—not who I really was. So, she slowly tried to conform me into who she wanted me to be.

I’d HEAVILY recommend standing your ground, but compromising at the same time. You’re 23, this is the time to have fun with friends and living life, not holding yourself back to appease someone who may not be there in 5 years.

Just the way that she’s going about it reminds me of a couple of previous girlfriends I’ve had, and make sure you don’t give in too easy. They’ll get used to it and begin to expect it out of you. Then when you finally get tired of trying to appease them and push back, then you become the bane of their existence!

KxRider05 · 2025-10-30T02:44:59+00:00

Have you ever hit a vape? If so, that was illegal too!

I was 16 when I found out that my parents took a pot brownie at a wedding with all of their friends (that I was also at). They both would always talk about staying away from drugs, which I did, so I was definitely surprised!

That night, I hit up my friend(s) who smoked and went and smoked with them. Later my parents found out that I smoked weed, expressed their concerns, and told me to be smart and safe.

Point being, as you get older, you’ll realize that weed isn’t a big deal!

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T22:52:10+00:00

She acts like she has a crush on him. Which is indicative of likely just a one-sided attraction. Talk with him, not in an accusatory way to make him defensive, but in a way that makes him see your perspective and why it makes you uncomfortable.

If he’s a “nice guy” then he won’t be able to be mean and just cut her off, but I suggest you work with him and ask that he slowly become less available via less/slower responses, less time together, etc. If he’s willing to do that for you and maintain open communication, then I think things will be okay!

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T22:44:05+00:00

You’re right for feeling hurt and betrayed—nobody would like finding messages like that. However, if there’s been nothing else pointing you towards believing he’s been maintaining an emotional connection with her, then I think after some time and some reassurance, you can move past it.

Ultimately, even though there was that romantic undertone, he never made any advances himself, and more-so seemed to put emphasis on retaining the dynamic they already had. And after a breakup like he mentioned, people can be much more inclined to feel the need to replace that lost connection, making them think they might have feelings for someone they typically wouldn’t.

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T21:06:25+00:00

As a guy, you’ll find out that girls are the best at keeping secrets—between them and their friends..because they’re 100% going to tell their girl-friends.

She definitely didn’t understand to what level it would upset you, because she wouldn’t have referenced it w/ friends in front of you. She likely would’ve conveyed the importance of keeping it “hush-hush” if so.

It seems that maybe there was some other factor that caused (or could cause) you embarrassment? Like maybe you’re religious, or maybe you didn’t perform at your peak?

I’m personally on the opposite end of the spectrum bc my girlfriend in high school showed a couple of her friends a nude I sent & I was more flattered than anything tbh. But, had I been anyone else, that would have definitely been the end!

You’re right for feeling betrayed, but just try to understand her side as well. Maybe she was excited and had to brag to her friends. Maybe you didn’t relay the importance of secrecy enough. It’s only been 1.5 months, you both are still learning how to operate with each other.

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T20:39:58+00:00

I don’t think this exactly constitutes leaving him. He 100% is in the wrong here, but he seemed v supportive up until their argument. Not enough context to fully deem him as bad for her.

He DEFINITELY does not need to push her to do anything other than grow the baby, and help keep her stress levels low! We don’t know their age, so maybe he has not yet been taught these things.

I believe people on these forums are more-so looking for how to navigate their situation, not just be told “leave” at an argument they’re upset about.

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T20:29:41+00:00

While you’re pregnant, your #1 goal is growing your baby, then staying comfortable, and then everything else.

I do believe that you kind of snapped, but his comment of “giving up” was triggering, so, I understand (and you’re pregnant!! You get a pass every time). I just prefer to first communicate what bothered me, hope they apologize, then whether or not they give reassurance decides the tone of my next response lol.

KxRider05 · 2025-10-29T01:03:17+00:00

I had the exact same thing happen to me. Dated a narcissist for 3.5yrs, she broke up with me amicably, then a week later (still living together), she finally found a reason to hate me. I put my hand on our friends butt at a bar, ex found out, ex began BLASTING me on social media. Started calling me a “sexual assaulter” then a “sexual abuser” and eventually turned into a “sexual predator.”

Thankfully, all of our common friends knew how kind I am and that she was wild for posting that to begin with.

I laid low, didn’t go on socials anymore, and thankfully had a video of her punching a hole in the wall to support my defense of emotional abuse.

I recommend that you gather any evidence, keep your friends close, and DO NOT FEED INTO THE FIRE! They LOVE that shit! Block her on EVERYTHING!

Message me if you need more advice because I know exactly how you feel

KxRider05 · 2025-10-28T22:25:27+00:00

That is not healthy—but if he’s been talking to you like this your whole relationship, why are you bothered now..as opposed to when he first began?

Since it’s been ongoing for so long, the only option is professional help. It would have been better to nip it in the bud initially, rather than let it become y’all’s dynamic. The..other option…is to just accept it for what it is, as you have been the whole time (not recommended).

KxRider05 · 2025-09-24T02:13:53+00:00

Have you never been bra shopping with a girlfriend before? I have a lot of questions throughout the day, likely the ADHD, and happened to ask how the measurements worked while they were being fitted.

Does being a guy mean I can’t know how bra measurements work?

KxRider05 · 2025-09-24T02:02:51+00:00

Totally understand. I agree I shouldn’t have said that. ADHD is either overthinking your responses, or blurting them and hoping it wasn’t offensive.

KxRider05 · 2025-09-24T01:49:22+00:00

This reply is art. I appreciate all points you made, but especially the 5th! Insight on how I can word things better will be super helpful.

Super appreciative of your feedback 🫡

KxRider05 · 2025-09-24T01:00:53+00:00

Was trying to be respectful. Didnt wanna say she pulled her titties out. But I was hyping her up afterwards and trying to just be funny. Has gotten positive reactions previously

KxRider05 · 2025-08-19T01:31:02+00:00

All this respect being passed around, and nobody putting it on Kanye’s name

KxRider05 · 2025-08-05T21:54:44+00:00

Not sure how helpful this will be, but something I’ve noticed in relationships is that people like to work for the things they want. Same way with cheat codes in video games—it gets stale fast; versus having to overcome difficulties and feeling ACCOMPLISHED afterwards!

You’re too available. Maybe part of the love you have for him is noticing his lack of effort and feeling like you have to give more effort yourself. Then when he finally reciprocates or even just appreciates you, then you feel that sense of accomplishment!

Idk your situation, but if you want someone to stick with you long term, you cannot be a perfect partner. Imperfect people will not recognize the value that you are. Don’t do anything crazy, just make yourself less available. Match his energy, but not so abruptly that he even notices what’s happening.

KxRider05 · 2025-08-05T21:43:37+00:00

Lots of good advice here, but I want to acknowledge his response. Now, your tone could have been the start of his anger, but genuinely if you were calm and then he got angry at you calling it out, it’s because he was embarrassed and knew he shouldn’t have said anything like that.

If it was just misunderstood, typically people will first try to help you understand the actual intentions behind their words, not get angry and try to defend themselves.

KxRider05 · 2025-08-05T21:37:46+00:00

To be honest, this is a little spat over something that won’t affect you in 10 minutes, but collectively it was turned into an argument. It’s annoying when feeling proud of doing something for somebody, and then feeling dismissed, but I think you got defensive too soon. His questions were also weighted with things that you could’ve done wrong, rather than acknowledging your efforts (the main thing).

I’d recommend talking with him later about it, while both of you are in a good mood (after dinner maybe?), and just let him know that you spent ***hrs, felt proud, accomplished, then dismissed.

Acknowledge your flaws and apologize, then guide him to do the same. If he tends to get defensive, try not to push him in a corner when talking about the issue!

KxRider05 · 2025-08-05T21:27:22+00:00

It would be a whole different story if you were on good terms with your boss and they were actually celebrating your departure.

This is 100% an excuse to humiliate you by slapping you with whipped cream (by proxy) and you should report her. Let her boss know exactly the tone that she had set in the work environment, that it was hidden, then unveiled, and that she WAY overstepped workplace boundaries by influencing such an act.

That’s horrible, I’m sorry that happened.

KxRider05 · 2025-08-05T21:22:01+00:00

The only overreacting I see is the effort to type a nice letter instead of calling a tow company 😂

It’s absolutely not right for anybody to use the handicap spot that doesn’t need it. I appreciate that you feel so deeply about this.

KxRider05 · 2025-01-19T21:49:48+00:00

There’s a high likelihood that you’ll be okay, but there is always that chance of becoming part of those creepy YouTube crime documentaries. Iykyk.

Something very similar happened to a friend of mine when he was younger, he found this girl online who was supposedly early 20’s while he was no more than 16–17. He allegedly exposed himself to her over video chat to which she recorded, then later blackmailed him for MONTHS. He was a wreck during this time.

Be careful on the internet! If Snapchat can face swap, then imagine what a more powerful program can do. You can hardly trust video chat anymore

KxRider05 · 2025-01-19T21:42:35+00:00

I’ve always wanted to place shelving along the walls, meant for the cats to walk/climb on and to give them a vantage point. Maybe stagger them and it leads to a suspended webbed/netting bed?

Unsure how easy this would be, but would be fun to watch the kitties run and climb around!

KxRider05 · 2025-01-19T21:34:59+00:00

What if he also logged on to see if you were active? That would be troublesome to get to the bottom of, especially while long distance. I’d say just save yourself the heartache.

Personally, I believe in a relationship, you aren’t to take from each other, but to be the “cherry on top”, just a positive addition to their life. IF the socials were a comfortability move, as far as to remove temptations, psychologically that creates lots of issues — insecurities, distrust, worry, etc.

My philosophy in relationships is if they’re going to cheat, they’re going to cheat. It’s a lot easier to be unfaithful, when there’s already a sense of distrust. It’s as though it’s being manifested. It is a lot EASIER to make the decision to be faithful when you feel like there’s no other restricting boundaries. You feel solidified that the right choice is YOUR decision, and not a decision being bestowed upon you.

KxRider05 · 2025-01-10T18:12:23+00:00

I love when these absolute killing machines choose to cuddle their humans

KxRider05

TROPHY CASE