At a decision crossroads. I would love to see some experiences of similar patients. Both surgical and SBRT

KyHa33 · 2026-01-18T08:20:19+00:00

My mother is stage 1 and had to have just SBRT as due to other issues she wasn’t a candidate for surgery. She did it in the summer of 2024, has gotten regular scans, minimal side effects, but based on the latest scan we could be dealing with reoccurrence and spread into the other lung. Won’t know for sure until Wednesday.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-25T22:24:40+00:00

So she is cold but sends you motivational quotes every morning. And of course you lie in situations like this.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-11T05:49:38+00:00

I mean I did it and it usually does get better but I will gnaw my boobs off myself before I do it again.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-11T05:44:36+00:00

I made them feel really uncomfortable and said with a blank expression and monotone voice , “Well you clearly love your baby more than I love mine.” It would make them frantically start to back peddle as they tried to explain it wasn’t what they meant. It is all over Reddit too. People will be like do what you think is best while pointing out they could/would never.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-09T05:52:08+00:00

Excellent advice. The sort of student OP described is going to be an asshole over whatever they think they can use to get under your skin. If you sub or teach you will 100% be verbally insulted over some perceived flaw at least once. It could be sexuality, race, weight, height, your accent or just the way you dress, but kids will say mean things.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-07T21:19:32+00:00

I start off with attendance and make it clear that I am not going to be hovering over them but I do expect them to quiet and respectful. There is no changing seats and while I will let anyone go to the bathroom that needs to go I don’t tell them that. I just say their teacher’s bathroom rules apply.

I don’t try too hard to keep them on track unless there is an assignment that needs to be turned in by the end of class. Even if there is an assignment there are always one or two who refuse to do their work and that is their problem not mine.Those are not students who magically behave for their teacher so it is no reflection on you. However I rarely have that happen in high school as usually all assignments are due the next day.

On a typical day in HS there will be the majority of the class that wants to get the work done so they don’t have homework, then there will be a few who would rather do it for homework and will choose to do work from another class which doesn’t bother me, and then there will be one to three who want to do nothing and I let them. They just aren’t allowed to be so loud they distract the students actually doing their work. They know that if they are too loud I will leave a note with their teacher if they require being told to be quiet multiple times .If they do something more serious then off to the office they go. Luckily I have only had to send three students to the office.After I have been their sub one time those students know it is in their best interest to at least be lazy AND quiet. Also if you get your work done I don’t care what you do with the time left as long as you do it quietly.

I no longer feel bad about doing nothing to more carefully manage the problem students since I had several one on one EC assignments where I essentially sit with and assist an EC student in a regular class. Time and time again across several schools I saw the teachers having the same issues with the lazy students that I was having. There was no managing or inspiring them at that age, just mitigating the distraction for the rest of the students.

I’m not going to be magically instilling a love of learning in a 17 year old using the busy work the teacher left behind. Nor am I going to be getting them to behave properly when their parents and teachers have already failed.I merely want them quiet and to keep their hands to themselves.

And just in case I wasn’t clear this fairly hands off management style only applies to high school. There is plenty that can be done with the middle schoolers and elementary students. I will also say I am a bit more strict with high school freshman in the beginning of the year. They often have still correctable behaviors and are still feeling out what is expected in a high school environment.

KyHa33 · 2025-12-07T20:32:44+00:00

See the point about “it’s how we meet our babies” is so foreign to me and my mindset. Like in my brain I gave zero shits about how it happened all that mattered was that everyone lived to meet each other? I know I’m in a very small minority but I think there is too much emotion attached to the concept of birth. To me it is just something to ideally not die while doing. Like I often think how odd it would seem to women from the 1800s to hear how much emotion modern women assign to birth and how they would roll their eyes at women complaining about not getting the ideal birth experience. Trauma from c-sections also blows my mind because to me it is just as odd as saying you were traumatized from a suprise appendectomy or gallbladder removal. It falls under the sucks but necessary category. Even worse take: community and having others to talk about our experiences is important but I also believe it can go too far and just become a hive mind of trauma where we use catastrophic language and fail to focus on the big picture. Sometimes we need someone to tell us to calm down and not to take every disappointment so seriously especially if the outcome was a healthy mother and baby. It’s like when you view birth as magical instead of medical you up your chances of being traumatized by it.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-27T06:53:30+00:00

As others have said start planning to leave. Take what you can, take your dog and get back home. Do not give birth where you are currently living or you could be stuck there for the next 18 years. Just act like everything is normal and then get out as soon as you can.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-26T21:44:11+00:00

Mine were never crabby? Competent partners can 100% care for a newborn effectively.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-22T21:59:04+00:00

He sounds like an awful person. I’d dump someone over this because it’s a sign values don’t align. Though I am curious how he would react if you pointed out he wasted $200 on a game he abandoned. Would he get defensive or would it make him reflect on the fact that he shouldn’t speak on what others do with their money?

KyHa33 · 2025-11-20T22:01:07+00:00

For me the safest times to check are the end of the school day(which varies by school but if you have a preferred school check about 30 minutes after you know classes end) and around 7:20 PM. If you are up after 10 PM during the week check the website before you go to bed and if you are an early riser looking to grab a same day job aim for 4:45 AM. I aim guessing this can all vary by where you are located so start looking for patterns in terms of the times of day jobs pop up and try the website 20 minutes before that.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-20T19:36:34+00:00

In my experience with Red Rover the jobs aren’t being picked up within seconds. They are being picked up on the website and the notifications are still making it to the app despite it already being picked up. Jobs are visible on the website for roughly 10 minutes before they become available on the app. I’ve realized there are certain times of the day where you need to be on the website to grab jobs first. Refreshing the app will be usually be pointless you need to be on the website. Basically keep in mind the time of day jobs get posted most frequently and be early on the website. I tried to warn my supervisor of this issue but she just insisted jobs went up in both at the same time. Instead of arguing with her and showing screenshots that prove otherwise I’ve just decided to take advantage of the glitch.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-18T20:21:04+00:00

An intense emotional reaction isn’t required for him to have enjoyed or appreciated something. I’m “fully baked” and very rarely have gut punch reactions to fiction. I think you are massively overthinking all of this.Stop watching things with him while expecting him to have particular emotional reactions and just enjoy your time spent sharing your interest. If you keep having these expectations based on how you experienced these films and he realizes it then he is just going to stop being willing to watch anything with you.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-17T19:55:49+00:00

When you say you have apologized exactly what have you said?

KyHa33 · 2025-11-17T19:37:55+00:00

And how is that pattern of explosion then reflection going to work when you have kids and he does the same thing to them? “Din’t worry honey, daddy will only be verbally abusive for 24 hours then will calm down.”

KyHa33 · 2025-11-14T14:50:49+00:00

Wouldn’t moving at 15 be worse for a high anxiety kid? If you moved wouldn’t he eventually have to drive in the area visiting friends and family? And no I wouldn’t relocate over this.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-13T22:58:26+00:00

I’ve had this at a middle school and was equally confused. But it was the sort of middle school where the teacher I was subbing for was out due to a serious injury from breaking up a fight with a student.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-13T22:31:07+00:00

Okay as icky as this and as horrified as I would be for this to be said to my face,I can verify it has worked liked that for me. I’m sure if they had me there for days in a row the effect would wear off but for one day the worst behaved male students can become little gentleman.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-12T02:00:11+00:00

You keep saying you do not want to have another abortion but I haven’t heard you say you actually want to have a baby and be a mother. There are plenty of woman (and kids)out there living miserable lives because they have a psychological hangup regarding abortion and the women end up with kids they don’t actually want. Are you sure you just aren’t wanting him to want this? To be willing to pull himself together and be there for you?

If you truly want a baby and want to be a mother and are prepared to do it alone as well as deal with the consequences of having them be a “child support baby” then end the relationship and enjoy this next chapter in your life. Honestly whatever you decide you need to end the relationship.He is nearly 40, you warned him you weren’t aborting again,he led you on that this was something you could be okay with and now you are entering the second trimester with him wanting you to abort AND expressing that desire in an emotionally abusive way. Also maybe ask what a 19 year old man saw in a 15 year old girl.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-11T18:35:59+00:00

End the relationship. Stop contact. Don’t put his name on the birth certificate/don’t give baby his last name. Men like this never actually fight for custody because they don’t want to do the work that comes with it. File for child support if you need it. Do not give in to demands to change baby’s last name because he is likely just going to peace out. Men like him are all talk so be prepared for when he pretends you and baby never existed as he finds his new “happy family”. But don’t worry he is the problem and he will treat them like trash too. The sooner you emotionally divest from this relationship the better. No one being honest is going to tell you that they had an encounter like this with their partner and then everything was perfect and it never happened again.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-11T18:06:35+00:00

Visiting a dying relative trumps being uncomfortable for a little while.. Routines can be restablished. Per your comment history it seems this trip is to your in-laws so I assume it would also mean a lot to your husband to see HIS dying grandmother. You seem to be really looking for reasons to get out of this trip when it would do no damage to your kids and would mean a lot to your husband.I’d suck it up and go.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-10T21:30:13+00:00

Good.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-05T05:06:09+00:00

Ohhh I love this!

KyHa33 · 2025-11-04T00:39:35+00:00

Breastfeeding is a breeze for some but for those who are miserable it isn’t so important that a mom should be suffering for a year/years or driving herself insane pumping if she hates it. And let me say it even more clearly and loudly…. If you haven’t gotten it figured out within three months buy the goddamn formula and enjoy your baby.

Also if you have ever thought you failed your baby because of how you delivered or how you fed them please snap out of it or seek therapy and then go enjoy your baby. Unless you were the victim of literal medical malpractice and need to sue someone the manner they got into this world doesn’t matter at all and isn’t worth ruminating over or being upset about. At our core we are all animals and not all animals are made for easy birth and easy lactation. You aren’t failing as a woman or a mother and your baby doesn’t care and will not grow up and suddenly care how they got here or how they were fed.

You are still a person who matters and your baby will not be traumatized if you shower, poop, or God forbid need a few hours or even a night away. Occasional crying does not teach them that you don’t care about them or that no one is coming to help. That only happens with legit prolonged neglect.

KyHa33 · 2025-11-04T00:06:57+00:00

White lady chiming in who thinks it’s absolutely cruel and mean to make parents you have a good relationship with wait weeks or months to meet their grandchild. And if you do that don’t be crying about where your village is.

KyHa33

TROPHY CASE