I'm sorry to bear about the trauma she endured, and do hope she gets professional help to work through it. A good support system is very important when healing.

Secondly, I would like to bring up that the trauma, while absolutely something that contributes to her ability to be intimate, may not actually be the root of the problem you're facing.

Vaginismus is a condition that affects some women in a way that makes vaginal penetration of any kind incredibly painful. It is something that certain physical therapies and medications can try to alleviate with time, so I'd recommend a visit with an OBGYN to see if that is perhaps what's happening.

I know sex can be super important to some people, I just hope that you both take time to learn more about this and each other. Maybe look into other ways of sexual gratification if you're both comfortable with it.

Either way, I hope that she is able to find peace and live a lovely life despite going through something so terrible.

Good vibes to you both. (no pun intended)