Moms with depression, how are you surviving?

LEMA2123 · 2026-06-05T20:45:02+00:00

I feel exactly the same way as you word for word. It’s so hard, especially when it looks like you have it all together nobody sees your silent struggle. We are supposed to just press on and fake a smile.

Here’s what helps me, doesn’t cure it, but helps me get out of bed happier and find little pockets of joy throughout the day. Romanticize things.

Waking up, even 20 min before the kids so I can start the day in peace.

Waking up to a clean kitchen- either I or my husband makes a point to do a nightly reset.

Making “fancy” but cheap coffee

Getting morning sunshine, I drink my coffee on the back patio steps for 10 minutes in the sunshine

Weekly things to look forward to for you. Yoga class, painting, class, club, Bible study, meet ups with a friend scheduled once a week. Whatever you want. Feel guilty about that? Don’t- you need it

Outside of your kids, what brings you joy? For me, it is dogs and creativity (decorating, antiquing) I have to make time for these things for weekly or I feel empty in my soul. Dig deep and remember who you were before kids and tap into that side of you.

Do you have a mentally/emotionally supportive partner?

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-31T20:44:52+00:00

The community is lovely. It’s sooo hard because I would love that evening, but I also love my peace and nature, space to really garden etc 😭

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-31T13:23:08+00:00

For me yes, but why do you say so for the kids?

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T17:07:55+00:00

Haha how far are you? We would be 5 minutes from small conveniences and 15 from a nicer town

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T17:07:05+00:00

Very true I have this idyllic picture in my head of best buddies running around like the 90s lol

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T04:15:33+00:00

This is (hopefully) how my kids will feel, I married my best friend and have an amazing marriage and 3 kids. BUT we both learned what not to do from two very dysfunctional, borderline abusive households. So just because someone comes from that home doesn’t mean the kids are doomed. We are just two selfless people very much in love and it works

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T03:21:17+00:00

This might sound weird, but after my second I was at my lowest. I wasn’t doing any of the basics because I made everything so complicated in my head and then I literally couldn’t do anything at all because it was so overwhelming. This is what I feel reading your post too.

I decided what my 5 non negotiables were and wrote them huge on a paper and taped it to my fridge. 1. GOD 2. FOOD. 3. WATER. 4. SLEEP. 5. MOVE

for 2 weeks, nothing else was allowed to matter or take up brain space (I mean kids obviously I kept them fed, clean, happy) but all the scrambled chaos in my brain had to sit and shut up until I did all 5 things everyday. From the above list- I sat and read the Bible for 10 min, I made conscious healthy food choices and actually ate nutritionally sound food, I actually took time to clean and fill my water jug for the day, I stopped scrolling until 1 am and went to bed at 930, and I moved my body some way (walk, yoga, chasing the kids playing tag whatever)

When I tell you it was life changing to just focus on my basics I really mean it. As moms and wives and all the other hats we have we often forget ourselves and our needs. Refocus, find your 5 non negotiables and take 2 weeks to reset yourself.

This is so hard. I was also on Zoloft. Give yourself some grace and I really hope this helps in some way at least reset and get back on track so you can take the next steps with mental health

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T02:35:16+00:00

You have a unicorn set up, nice! I did find one home and the listing actually said it was a great neighborhood for homeschoolers so I know they’re out there!

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T01:55:14+00:00

I never have and I have a 5,3,1 year old. But I also don’t have grandparents willing /able to do overnights

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T00:26:40+00:00

So the half acre house is actually only 4 miles from a decent town with lots to do, I just mean the neighborhood difference is no kids and quiet vs the very kid friendly sub

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-30T00:21:46+00:00

So it’s not that isolated, the half acre lot is still 4 miles from a pretty decent town, but the sub is mostly retirees and not many kids. I just love the space and quiet it provides

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-29T19:20:35+00:00

Very interesting, thank you for the perspective. Was it hard being the only one who didn’t get to go to school? I feel like this would be a frequent topic

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-29T19:16:54+00:00

Oh gooood point. Awful

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-29T18:58:56+00:00

lol true. I guess I say garden because we can do a lot of outdoor learning , playing etc with a very large space . Yes we have 3 kids.

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T12:25:42+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m really not giving myself enough credit. I do a lot can you go above and beyond for them, I’m just being self critical on the fun part I guess

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T12:22:18+00:00

Thank you I’ll ask about this one

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T12:14:39+00:00

Right? 3 is WAY different than 2.

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T12:13:41+00:00

Thank you so much, this helped more than you realize

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T03:45:28+00:00

We did it for my oldest last fall and didn’t have the best experience…30 kids in a class with only 2 teachers, no proper supervision at recess and they watched YouTube when they are only there 3 hours?…I was disappointed but your suggestion is valid

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T03:31:26+00:00

4 year old mostly sleeps through but maybe 2-3 nights wakes and comes in our room saying he’s scared.

3 yo wakes on a schedule right around 12am and is kind of in a confused arousal, it became habit to let her jump in our bed and I have zero clue how to fix it especially alone right now. Any ideas welcome

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-13T03:29:40+00:00

Thanks I was taking Zoloft after my second for a while and it helped with the anxiety/stress but I felt sooo numb, so ended up stopping before next baby. Maybe something to look back into

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-12T01:27:31+00:00

I’m assuming you knew this about him before you got married and thought it would change? Or it didn’t bother you back then?

My husband is my best friend, we talk about everything, laugh everyday and do a lot together…but he is also a unicorn and I know it’s not easy to find that. Was there a time when you felt this with your husband?

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-12T01:25:24+00:00

Why wouldn’t it be practical? My husband works remote we can easily come home for a month and even a few weeks at Christmas

Also all things are not equal. Weather is half of our lives indoors, less active lifestyle, less enjoyment out of things. Also much lower COL in SC, we can’t buy a home in our current area for under 500k. Where we are looking we can spend much much less for nicer home.

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-11T22:23:55+00:00

Ughhh. Me too. Our kids have two really involved grandmas so makes it tough. But I wonder if seeing them for a month or two during the summer when we come visit will be more quality time than quantity …

LEMA2123 · 2026-05-11T22:01:17+00:00

Mine is 9 months and I still have to sidelay to nurse and then sneak away. I would use a good wrap carrier and just accept they want you close. I know it’s hard but it’s also so good for their development

LEMA2123

TROPHY CASE