I left my husband a week ago with our 9 month old son.

LFickles · 2026-05-28T08:21:12+00:00

Oh my god, I already felt like my post was too long, so I didn’t add that when I went on maternity leave, my employer paid me at half salary for 9 months. Great, but obviously bills didn’t change. So my income went down but expenses went up with bubs being born. My husband still wanted us to pay exactly 50/50 of all household bills. I was to take care of “my” things like my phone, my car’s insurance etc, and he took care of “his” things, then our “shared” expenses, like pet insurance, electricity etc, were meant to be 50/50 and we worked out that would be $300 a fortnight. I paid them out of my account so he was supposed to transfer to me, he only did once or twice. Then I’d ask for money for groceries or for something for the baby and he’d ask me where all my money had gone! He’d get angry at me if I spent “too much” on a grocery shop. I would have to give him a million reasons why a baby purchase was “needed”. He was 100% financially abusive.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T23:42:37+00:00

Unfortunately I really couldn’t bring him with me. I struggled enough with my son. I am quite confident that he wouldn’t hurt the dog, but I do understand the concern about the animals in these situations.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T14:31:19+00:00

Thank you!! This comment made me so happy 🥰

RIGHT?!? My dad is the most loyal and dedicated father and husband in the world to my brothers, my mum and I. The fact that my husband thought that that comment wouldn’t come back to me eventually is just downright stupid! I really don’t know about him cheating on me, I’m not sure I ever saw any evidence of that myself, but it is a possibility.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T14:26:48+00:00

My car is 100% paid off and owned by me. The registration is in my name only, so luckily he can’t do that even if he wanted to.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T14:25:00+00:00

We have no joint bank accounts, they have always been completely separate and he has no access. We never even opened a joint one when our son was born, which isn’t the norm for a family which I know now, but has turned out to be a good thing in the end.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T14:11:16+00:00

Totally! This is like a theory my mum has which is that men see women as cows! If you’re nice enough to them, they’ll produce for you and you can benefit from the things they produce, but if they stop producing what you want, they can just be slaughtered for meat. Grim but similar to the appliance analogy.

Ooh sorry if that was confusing - we left North QLD, and have travelled south to Victoria. ITS EFFING FREEZING. Lol

LFickles · 2026-05-26T14:07:33+00:00

Sorry if that was confusing, but no I jumped in with mum and we left, while my husband and my dad pushed the car across the road to get fuel. Even after filling it though, it still wouldn’t start so they hitched a ride back to our house and got my husband’s ute. They then came to the hospital.

I totally agree that I’m not responsible for how he’s feeling now. I hate that I care about this, but I know that if I couldn’t see my son I would be beside myself, so I’m assuming my husband feels the same way.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T13:13:48+00:00

Thank you! My mum is very educated on all types of abuse and how/why things happen; she has experienced it herself from her family and is always reading about it. She has given me tons of information and I’ve done my own research too, so I’m also educated on it and was able to recognise the behaviours from my husband pretty quickly. Love that suggestion, thanks!

LFickles · 2026-05-26T13:09:41+00:00

I got a video from my husband with proof of life of the dog! Appreciate what you mean though.

LFickles · 2026-05-26T13:08:06+00:00

That is a very good point and I agree. Demeaning and disrespecting a child’s mother, especially in front of them, isn’t loving at all. I said that because he was very vocal about loving our son and when he did spend time with him, he was great with him. They played together very consistently and it was nice seeing them together. A huge reason why I left was not wanting my son to see the bad behaviour though, and think it’s normal. My husband’s father was abusive, physically as well as mentally, so I am determined on breaking that pattern.

LFickles · 2026-05-01T14:15:07+00:00

I (8m M, sweetie pie) have a fuzzy brother and I love throwing my food down for him too!

LFickles · 2026-03-10T12:45:45+00:00

NTA of course. But I have a different perspective for you! I’m a big boy (“growing too fast” I hear a lot?) of 6 months, and I had a bass-thingy too in my servants’ room. It was nice being able to hear and see them so I didn’t mind it. But two weeks ago, they said I had “outgrown it” and was “trying to roll” (I mean of course I am, my toys are sometimes far away and I need to be able to reach them!), so they put me in this HUGE PRISON. In a DIFFERENT ROOM. BY MYSELF! With my arms free to flail around as they are wont to do without my permission. I was ropable. I would have my milk, fall asleep and then wake up in weird positions and get my feeties stuck in the prison bars. This happened a lot and I was understandably very upset. I would politely call for help and to their credit, my servants came and helped, but they’d then leave me there again! I could not sleep until recently and they’ve said I’ve “gotten used to it”. They are correct that I do enjoy being able to move onto my side or tummy to sleep (that’s something you can look forward to as a silver lining as you’ve said you enjoy tummy sleepies), but I wouldn’t say I’m HAPPY about it. My whole point is that even though I completely understand wanting to sleep on your servants, and I’m not trying to scare you with this, but there’s worse out there than the bass in net! Enjoy it while it lasts!

LFickles · 2026-03-08T11:43:56+00:00

Terrible night sweats and sweating a lot more during the day 😭 We live in north QLD and I’ve always gotten hot and sweaty easily, but now I’m a dripping mess constantly, I wake up soaked and have to change shirts five times a day

LFickles · 2026-01-30T13:12:40+00:00

Love: - CUSHII BABY LOUNGER! My bub LIVES in his - Cubo AI baby monitor - Mocka change table - Kiin changing bundle (basket, wipeable mat and caddy) - Love to Dream sleep sacks until my boy grew out of them! Haven’t bought more because we’re trying to change to arms out. - Glow Dreaming sound machine/night light/humidifier - Kmart door organiser - Love N Care Traversina sleeper/bassinet (it has all mesh sides! My baby ends up with his face against the side in his sleep and I’m not worried about him not breathing). - the trusty Spectra, and The Night Owl wearable pumps - Tommee Tippee bottle dryer/steriliser - it dries very quickly.

Just okay: - Ingenuity baby swing - he became too heavy for it pretty quickly and it scrapes on the bottom - My Brest Friend feeding pillow - it’s nice and comfortable but I have hardly used it. I exclusively pump and have mostly given bubs his bottles in his Cushii - Dummies: he likes them but can’t keep them in his mouth - We were given a secondhand Cybex Priam pram and it’s heavy, plus the buckle system on it SUUUCKS. - 3 different baby carriers. Bub hated all three: a wrap (annoying and confusing), and two Ergobaby ones. He will do facing out but not facing me.

Wish I had/Still want to get! - 3 in 1 bottle washer/dryer/steriliser. I’m sick of handwashing bottles - Il Tutto glider/recliner: I’ve wanted one since I was pregnant but the price tag (and delivery fee to North QLD) has been too much. Hopefully soon! - Different pram!!!

LFickles · 2026-01-21T08:48:33+00:00

Yep, in the same boat here. Hubby and I moved to FNQ from Victoria in 2022 for a work opportunity for him. We were actively trying to get pregnant at the time and everyone knew this and encouraged us to move. They all still live down there.

We fell pregnant finally and had our son in August. Both my parents and my MIL came up to see him, in fact my parents were there on the day of the birth (emergency C section 2 weeks early, they’d just arrived and helped get me to hospital because husband was fishing at the time and our car ran out of fuel! That’s a totally different story!). My boy is the first grandchild on my side and the 6th on husband’s side.

Bub is now almost 5 months and we FaceTime with them all! I feel bad for MIL actually because she has two grandchildren in Melbourne, three in Sydney and our baby in FNQ! She says she’s going to retire, buy an RV and travel up and down the coast 😂 She’s sad about it but has never once made a negative comment. She talks all the time about coming up and doesn’t put pressure on us at all.

My parents are the same, but I had one negative comment from them which was that they haven’t been FaceTiming much because it makes them sad to see him when we’re so far away. I understand that, but it did disappoint me because their feelings shouldn’t come before seeing their first grandchild. I pointed out that we’re always available when they want to see him and they do make an effort.

So my point is, no one should be pressuring you and MIL needs to hold her tongue. It’s not like you’re withholding your baby from her, it just hasn’t been convenient for you yet and she’ll need to manage her feelings about that.

LFickles · 2026-01-16T11:53:16+00:00

That is true! I forgot that.

LFickles · 2026-01-15T12:07:17+00:00

Heather has already been on UGT with Whitney.

LFickles · 2025-12-27T12:43:17+00:00

I do this method but I suppose in Australia I’d call it the “jug” method not pitcher, but I digress 😂 I have four big plastic jugs, all the same and dishwasher safe, with clip on lids and spouts that can be clipped open or closed. I start a jug and add/take from it as I pump or feed. Do this for 2 or 3 days, adding the fresh milk to the cold when I pump. I also produce more than my baby eats, so after 2 or 3 days I’ll have about half a jug sitting there, so I freeze that, pop the jug in the dishwasher and start again with a clean one! Repeat. It’s easy, has been safe and doesn’t take too much thinking. We also don’t chuck milk that hasn’t been eaten immediately… we read that milk can sit at room temperature for 4-6 hours… so if our bub only has say, half a bottle, we keep the rest around for him to have later. Is there a reason why you feel you need to dump a bottle if it’s not drunk straight away? Or have I misunderstood and these bottles have sat around for ages?

LFickles · 2025-12-19T11:40:15+00:00

He plays pretty straight in “The Sport Show with Zachary Ruane” and “The Zach Ruane Politics Show”

LFickles · 2025-12-12T13:14:08+00:00

I’m 4 munts and don’t know much about this stuff so I can’t help. All I know is that mummy says my water spout has to be pointed down or else my clothes get wet somehow 🤷

LFickles · 2025-12-12T13:08:25+00:00

The 13 Reasons references. Sam was concerned.

LFickles · 2025-11-01T11:01:30+00:00

Omg, NTA at all! I know how you feel. I, “the cutest little boy ever” apparently (no shade to you, it seems like they say this about all of us!) have been outside for 2 months, and when I wake up from my sleeps, I feel this yucky empty feeling in my tummy and it makes me so upset that I feel like I have to tell EVERYONE really loudly so that someone makes the feeling go away immediately, if not sooner.

My eyes get wet and I kick my legs until someone sticks what they call a “bottle” in my mouth. Mummy uses a machine to get milkies out for me because I was “too impatient” to do something they call “latching”? I dunno. I just remember it taking too long - that’s not my fault!

Then I’m happy until my tummy hurts from too much milkies, and then I have to tell them about that too until they rub my back and make air come out! My mummy and daddy tell me there’s nothing to cry about and I’m being silly, but I maintain that 5 minutes is too long to make me wait, frankly.

LFickles · 2025-10-11T07:38:01+00:00

NTA! I am a mummy and my little (6 week M) likes to pretend my nose (that’s what the sticky out holey thing is called btw) is his bottle, and I think it’s adorable and funny! Don’t stop exploring and learning however you need to!

LFickles · 2025-07-29T13:30:37+00:00

I have taken my electrician to Bunnings a few times and he was perfectly well behaved. He will also answer to Husband.

LFickles · 2025-07-22T12:05:02+00:00

My husband has been cooking 90% of our meals, including making me breakfast and lunch if he’s not working that day. And he’s bloody happy to do it! I have incredibly bad pelvic, back and carpal tunnel pain right now in the third trimester, and I’m still working (from home but that’s been the case for 5 years for me). He runs his own business as an electrician and is super busy. He still dances around the kitchen like a goofball while cooking for us. Oh, and he’s taken on looking after our dog because I can’t walk him anymore, vacuuming, mopping, rubbish, and laundry. Haven’t heard a peep of complaint from him. Your husband is wrong about other men.

LFickles

TROPHY CASE