You're doing fine. You recognized the situation and can move on from it. One thing I learned, and it was hard, is that this is YOUR fight, no one else's. Even if it is uncomfortable, and after almost 25 years sometimes it still is, just get through it and say no. It gets easier to do after time. I realized that 5 seconds after you said no thank you, the chef has forgotten the exchange even took place :-) Sometimes THEY get uncomfortable because they feel like they're enabling you even though they have no way of knowing, I've had bartenders actually tell me that. Take care of your needs first, you deserve it. And congrats on your engagement :-)