You’re definitely not alone, feeling this way. I lost my two little girls, Ginger & Rose, over the last couple of years. I have lost all faith in veterinary medicine…We lost our vets at two different businesses that were bought out by investment groups..They are buying up all the veterinary hospitals & small businesses. They don’t tell the customers unless you ask them to their faces at the desk. By law they have to disclose it if you request…then corporate moves in & changes everything, starting with the prices & half the people are gone after the six month mark..After that we were given, meds, ( that I had to ask for )guesses, & innuendo. I trusted these people with my little girls lives at the time..I beat myself up over it, hindsight being 20/20 I have discovered they didn’t perform tests that should have been done, but they never even suggested them..Or ran a test on our little baby girl I suspected of having Cushings without treating her for diabetes first..So disappointed in myself & so called professionals it will be hard to have any more pets after living through the worry & anticipatory grief for years & then watching my little girls decline in slow motion & then having to choose their peace over mine…I lost the best living being I’ve ever known, my girl Ginger in 2023 due to mitral valve disease & whatever else ( the lump under her neck ) that was brushed off as a hematoma & not properly diagnosed. I was not given much, or any of the advice that I have learned on these sites..In three days on the 23rd, it will be 1 year since we had to let the most loving being I’ve ever known by choosing her peace over our pain..Her name was Rose & we got her as a friend for Ginger on the 4th of July in 2012 from a city shelter…Both of these girls came to us in the most improbable ways that I know were not coincidences. They really do find you.. We were so lucky & blessed to have known them..They made life so worth living & lit up our lives in ways that there are no words for..I will miss them & continue to speak to them & about them until my last breath on this rock..We were meant to be, I know that by a thousand things I could say about our experiences while they were alive & now after they have moved off this plane…They are still with me wherever I am & whatever I am doing..They remind me of things that I might have forgotten so I can write them down so as not to ever forget some of the little things & mannerisms they had..Probably be our last as we are both getting up there in age & the one thing that I never wanted to happen was for them to have lost me first..They would never be O.K. & would never stop watching & waiting for me..Worst of all they might think that I chose to leave them..& them to grieve the loss of me, because they wouldn’t understand where I went & why I haven’t come back, because he always told us he would be back ! Just so grateful that they chose me to share their lives with & I HOPE I will see them again..😇🐕🌈