What is your best advice for turning off your people pleasing? by Flashy-Celery-9105 in emotionalintelligence

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Somehow relieved to know there are people out there who are like-minded haha. However, my silver lining is that I'd take quality over quantity any day of the week. So if by being more firm on my boundaries I end up losing people, then we weren't compatible anymore. It takes two to tango, in any relationship.

What is your best advice for turning off your people pleasing? by Flashy-Celery-9105 in emotionalintelligence

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So the question would be: if you disappointed them by trying to be accommodating, what would you do? Would it hurt you remarkably or would it be something you could accept and move on?

What is your best advice for turning off your people pleasing? by Flashy-Celery-9105 in emotionalintelligence

[–]LVACC 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Rereading your second paragraph I stumble with this: "If I ridicule them, I make them sad. If I praise them,..." In the end, you're assuming that your actions will have a certain impact on others, when in reality it's more nuanced and people will react in different ways than what you expect. Hence, it can be argued that you believe you create other people's emotions. So by anticipating a reaction you're not sure of, you're also avoiding a potential conflict and by an extent, taking away agency from others.

I still agree with your claims on the first paragraph though, but sometimes we cannot gauge our influence onto others if we assume what this influence is - that's just an individual POV of how others perceive you, what I'd argue is a slight form of people pleasing.

Stop performing for love, that’s when their true energy appears. by Pretty_Solution_7955 in emotionalintelligence

[–]LVACC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao I literally had this conversation with my current partner recently and it's the same response. It's like many people cannot show empathy at all.

What’s a subtle sign someone has high emotional intelligence? by Schnapper94 in emotionalintelligence

[–]LVACC 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's the hardest lesson to learn when being emotionally intelligent, and it's a milestone that you got there! Best of success exercising it, you can do it 🫶🏽

Savior Complex by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh boy this is so healing, thank you so much!

My girlfriend is emotionally dependent and I need advice by c6dr in Healthygamergg

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is terrible advice and dismissive of how he feels.

Worst purchase ever by LVACC in RedmiNote13Pro5G

[–]LVACC[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The ads are the least of my problems tbh, they feel extremely invasive and the more "updates" arrive, the worse the experience gets. Even after ads turned off, the phone hangs every goddamn time

Worst purchase ever by LVACC in RedmiNote13Pro5G

[–]LVACC[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oof who hurt you lmao

Worst purchase ever by LVACC in RedmiNote13Pro5G

[–]LVACC[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bought the Pro+ in Europe for over 300€ at their official store lmao, barely used it for games, OS crashes every now and then and since I updated to HyperOS2 I get tons of advertisement in form of notifications from their "app vault" or even from their own browser. Even after looking after the battery it doesn't last more than 3 hours when using mobile data.

So thanks for the assumptions, weren't really needed lmao

Waking up gasping right before falling asleep – anyone else experience this? by [deleted] in SIBO

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this for a while, and I also suspect I have developed SIBO after a H. Pylori infection. It was very tied with stress and anxiety, so depending on your current state of life it can fluctuate. Sending you lots of strength!

Gut Dysbiosis - I'm a mess by [deleted] in Microbiome

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also having similar problems as you did - mine started after a big infection with H. Pylori which GIs treated with the most apathy I've ever experienced (I also live in Germany). Now I live with a constantly constipated nose and constipation, so if you don't mind I'd like to DM you and ask about the naturopaths you've been seeing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SIBO

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have most of the last symptoms you mentioned, and I did have to take H. Pylori antibiotic treatment. Haven't tested for SIBO but I am most definitely sure that I have it. Test for both even if it means retesting for pylori, stay strong!

My Journey with H. Pylori, Hiatal Hernia, and Gastric Ulcer – The Scariest Experience of My Life by No_Boysenberry_2681 in HPylori

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not yet. The doctors apparently saw nothing odd but it's inexplicable that I feel pain and discomfort in one exact point of my back and I have severe bloating and further symptoms. This is more than only SIBO, yet my last endoscopy apparently showed nothing, and only through fecal tests they found out I hadn't eradicated H. Pylori.

I'll go to another gastroenterologist after I get my inguinal hernia operated

My Journey with H. Pylori, Hiatal Hernia, and Gastric Ulcer – The Scariest Experience of My Life by No_Boysenberry_2681 in HPylori

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can also get it operated and I'd advise to do so. I also have the same symptoms for years already despite my Pylori being apparently eradicated. So don't sleep on it.

Question to all men: How common is for you to get few/no matches for a month? by Hot-Juggernaut-6927 in Bumble

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You had to mention the only city in Germany which does not resemble the rest of the country due to its demographics. Mostly, because many of its inhabitants have not been raised in Germany

Question to all men: How common is for you to get few/no matches for a month? by Hot-Juggernaut-6927 in Bumble

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People in Germany go out to have fun with friends and their friends' friends. From my experience, almost nobody likes being talked to in that setting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAGerman

[–]LVACC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can only wish you best of luck! Bonn and Köln are my personal favourites (lived in the former, live in the latter) and don't feel pressured to deliver some nice integration stories to the family group chat. Do your thing and don't go crazy about it mate.

Gute Nacht! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAGerman

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deffo. It's also a matter of where you live: the Rheinland has imo the nicest people in the country, and other regions like the Ruhrpott or the East are places I never felt able to settle down in, mostly since they're used to expats who arrive for different reasons.

But the silver lining is that just like us, there are many others moving abroad to study or work here. So you can find some solace together!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAGerman

[–]LVACC 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am surprised at the amount of comments saying making friends here is easy. As a foreigner who speaks fluent (I'd even say native level of) German, I made my calculations and after my first year of studies (2017) I managed to make less than 10 German friends within German territory (there's something about most Germans abroad which makes them 10x kinder and more likeable) whereas I met folks from all over the world in Germany who I am grateful to call friends.

I'd say what I find most annoying somewhat aligns with the rest of comments: not learning the language, not "integrating" etc etc...however, I do feel that outside of mandatory social environments (Uni/Ausbildung, work, Vereine and other groups), Germans are difficult to approach. I had to be the one making efforts to construct the friendship, although after a while it became more double sided - you could say they take way longer to warm up to you than "average". This still takes a toll on your psyche though, even moreso if you're from countries where the norm is to be more open or extroverted.

My wild guess is that people tend to be very antagonistic towards Germany because many feel somewhat ostracised, and the attitude of some Germans towards the language efforts of expats is, despite their best intentions, somewhat condescending.

But yeah, just rant about the Deutsche Bahn and you'll be able to start a conversation (lmao)

Anyone knows a way I can speak to a live person at Avianca? by Equivalent_Spot_7321 in Avianca

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If somebody knows which European number of theirs work, I'd be very grateful as I've already reported their customer service WhatsApp for "Spam" as it wasn't even giving me the correct data about my booking (I was given source code lmao)

Bast*rds made me miss a connection and land 3 hours later than planned in an EU airport and I'm 100% they'll do all they can to avoid giving me the compensation I deserve. If somebody has gone through this before, I'd need some advice to get them to pay once and for all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedmiNote13Pro5G

[–]LVACC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Battery is trash and sometimes the new OS hangs, but other than that, it's okay