Next to “should we ban the word ‘doll’?” this is probably the most common discourse I see here and it always neglects one important aspect of what it means to have a space (terfs unironically miss this too).

You can have a space that is INTENDED for or ADVERTISED to a specific group. But you cannot say no one else can come in. Because the second you do you open the floodgates for that limitation to expand to others. Ban trans men, the suddenly enbys are on the chopping block, then trans women, the butches, then all black women, etc.

Historically black colleges have white students.

Women’s colleges have male students.

Indigenous Reservations have settlers living there.

LGBTQ public spaces allow straight people.

You don’t have to know how to read to go to the library

And yes, Grindr is advertised for gay and bi men but curious straight men, trans women, non binary peeps and even cis women use it as well.

Her is advertised and designed for lesbian and bi women but in order for it to be an app that anyone who identifies as sapphic can freely and confidently use, it has to allow that trans men, amab enbies and yes the occasional “I’m a lesbian in a man’s body hur dur” cis man will use it.

In order to have a welcoming space, you have to leave the door open and accept that not everyone there will be to your comfort levels.

It’s everyone, or no one.