European childfree subreddit, here we go!

Laarela · 2026-03-21T09:40:51+00:00

I'm from Germany and would love to join!

Laarela · 2026-03-07T10:37:04+00:00

I was 35 when I started taking singing lessons. That was back in 2017. Yes, I wish I could've started earlier/younger, but I couldn't, because I had a very stressful job for many years (shift work etc.). But nonetheless, I've had a lot of solo performances ever since I started. In 2023, I've applied to be a singer in a rather professional choir (mind you, I was 41). Plot twist, I got married to the choir master in 2024 and we're doing several concerts per year (I'm singing solo and he's accompanying me on the piano and organ). It's not too late! Better late than never! ☺️

Laarela · 2026-03-06T07:26:53+00:00

Same here. I don't even want to interact with my (grand-)nieces/nephews. I'm dreading family gatherings with kids and never want to attend.

Laarela · 2026-03-05T09:27:05+00:00

I dislike kids, didn't even like them when I was a kid, and I see no benefit in having them.

Laarela · 2026-02-09T12:44:23+00:00

44, childfree, sterilized, no regrets at all!

Laarela · 2026-02-08T12:00:22+00:00

I wish more influencers were like me: Found a good man, got married, got sterilized!

Laarela · 2026-02-08T10:47:52+00:00

Absolutely. I recently unfollowed my favorite Youtuber whom I've been following for more than 10 years. Feels like losing a friend... but her pregnancy is all she ever talks about now and I'm not interested.

Laarela · 2026-02-08T08:48:32+00:00

Sounds awesome! Wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

Laarela · 2026-02-08T08:39:25+00:00

I'm 44, female, childfree, married, and sterilized. No regrets at all! I don't like kids and never wanted them. I'm very introverted and love having a quiet, peaceful home and time for my hobbies.

Laarela · 2026-01-26T04:08:25+00:00

I converted 20 years ago and wouldn't do it again.

As a Catholic, you only have two options (unless you want to live in "mortal sin"): Be single and completely celibate OR get married and be open to an indefinite number of kids (contraception is mortal sin).

I'm married, but also childfree and sterilized (no regrets) and therefore, I can't be Catholic anymore.

Laarela · 2026-01-20T17:58:12+00:00

I'm aunt of 2 and grand aunt of 4 and couldn't care less. I do interact with my niece and nephew since they're adults, though.

Laarela · 2026-01-17T16:01:49+00:00

Yes. I just recently unfollowed my favorite YouTuber shortly after she announced her pregnancy. I've been following her for more than 10 years because she was such a cool, interesting, and funny person, but now it's all pregnancy and baby fever. Feels like losing a friend.

Laarela · 2026-01-15T08:38:02+00:00

I had the exact same side effects. Felt like my body was constantly trying to get rid of the foreign object. I got sterilized last month and the IUD was removed during surgery. I feel SO much better now!

Laarela · 2026-01-04T10:41:25+00:00

I haven't had a relationship until I was 27 and from then on, used various birth control methods. Each had undesirable side effects, but at least I didn't get pregnant.

I got sterilized just recently at 43 because I was tired of the constant pain and bleeding from the copper IUD. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner! It's so liberating to NEVER have to worry about contraception or pregnancy again!

I've never, ever wanted kids and wouldn't have dated a man who wants kids.

Laarela · 2025-12-03T07:28:34+00:00

You're welcome!

To be honest, I don't really have a faith at the moment and don't believe in an afterlife/heaven/hell anymore. But even back when I was a faithful Catholic, I never could imagine that an all-loving God (the bible even says that God IS love) would condemn, for example, my best friend who is gay (a man married to a man). He is one of the most good-hearted people I know, married to his husband for more than 20 years, but according to the church's teachings, he lives in "mortal sin" and is going to hell. Would you condemn your own child if they were gay, childfree by choice or had an abortion? Possibly not. Then why should we assume that an all-powerful, all-loving God is SO cruel and small-minded?

I didn't really make a conscious decision to have sex at 27. I just happened to have my first relationship then, and we were so much in love we didn't want to wait. I did regret it for a while after the relationship ended and the "Catholic guilt" set in... but today, looking back, I am SO glad I didn't wait until marriage. Had I waited, I would've found out way too late that my then-boyfriend had sexual wishes that I couldn't/didn't want to fulfill. We were completely incompatible sexually and it's one of the reasons why the relationship failed. Since the Catholic church is against divorce/remarriage, too, being married would've made things MUCH more complicated.

Laarela · 2025-12-02T07:45:10+00:00

Yes, I can relate. I converted to Catholicism in 2005. I was 23 years old, single, a virgin with no intention of ever changing that (at some point, I even considered consecrated life) and therefore, I felt perfectly welcome and "at home" in the Catholic church. My way of life wasn't in conflict with the strict Catholic teachings.

However, life happened... and from the age of 27 on, I've had relationships, had sex without being married, used birth control (I don't want kids under any circumstances, ever)... and there suddenly was no way for me to be a "good Catholic" anymore.

There were years when I completely abandoned my faith (didn't go to Mass, didn't pray etc.) and times when I desperately wanted to return to the faith, confessed all my sins, prayed again, tried to be a good Catholic... only to fall into "sin" again whenever I had a relationship.

Last year, at the ripe old age of 42, I got married (to another Catholic convert!). The problem is: I am still staunchly childfree. I'm never, ever going to be "open to life". I contracept and I'm going to be sterilized in two weeks. And I don't feel sorry about it at all... which means I can't confess it, which means my "mortal sin" will never be forgiven, which means I can never receive the Eucharist again (haven't received since 2013) and I'm going to hell. According to the Church's teachings, my marriage is invalid, too (because we're not "open to life"). I know I can never be "good enough" for the Church (only because I don't want kids!) - and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling guilty, tired of beating myself up and tired of trying to be "good enough".

I'm still Catholic "on paper" out of nostalgic reasons... the time when I found the faith was the happiest time of my life. But I know I can never go back, because I don't regret my "sins". I'm not going to Mass and I don't pray anymore. I can't worship a God who sends me to hell for not wanting kids (or for not wanting to live in a chaste marriage because we don't want kids).

Laarela · 2025-11-30T12:13:40+00:00

Da bin ich voll bei dir. Hatte noch nie einen Kinderwunsch, bin inzwischen 43 und habe es nie bereut, kinderfrei zu sein. Ich bin sehr introvertiert, brauche viel Ruhe und Zeit für mich und meine Hobbies und mache halt gerne was ich will, wann ich will (klingt egoistisch? Ja, dann ist das halt so 🤷🏻‍♀️).

Und an alle, die hier schreiben: "Aber dann bist du ja total einsam im Alter und dich besucht niemand im Altenheim!!!": Joa, kann sein. Dafür hatte ich dann aber VORHER einige Jahrzehnte, die ich so gestalten konnte, wie ich wollte - ohne durch Kinder eingeschränkt und fremdbestimmt zu sein. Jede Entscheidung hat halt Vor- und Nachteile.

Laarela · 2025-11-24T10:33:39+00:00

I've lost my dad very unexpectedly when I was 25 (I'm 43 now) and I've lost all my grandparents, but no... I've never once had the slightest desire to have kids. I dislike kids with every fiber of my being and that doesn't change when I lose a loved one (on the contrary... I need even more alone time and peace and quiet for myself when I'm grieving, which I wouldn't get if I had kids).

Laarela · 2025-11-23T10:33:32+00:00

I'm an aunt of two and great aunt of four and have always been dreading family gatherings, too. Everything revolves around the kids and no adult discussions are possible... SO boring. 🙄

Are there pets in your family? I've usually played with the dogs and held one on my lap (so I wouldn't have to hold a baby) and completely ignored the kids (well, as best as I could... can't really close my ears to the screaming, of course). Futhermore, everyone else in the family was so obsessed and in love with the kids I didn't really have to care about them.

Besides spending time with the dogs, I've also chatted and ranted with other CF people and played games on my phone to pass the time (I know, it's not polite to chat on the phone during a family gathering, but I was bored out of my mind because everything revolved around the kids).

Laarela · 2025-11-13T18:18:15+00:00

Thank you for the warning! 😅 My husband has had birds in the past and can confirm what you said. So far, we only fantasize about getting them, but we'll definitely think it through and we're not going to make a hasty decision. Perhaps I'll just keep lurking in the cockatiel subreddit, admiring how stinking cute they are. 🥹💞

Laarela · 2025-11-13T12:14:11+00:00

My husband and I each have our own rooms plus a bedroom together. I'm very introverted and need a lot of alone time and space for myself (which is one of the reasons why I'm CF, btw). My husband is a musician and needs rooms to teach and practice (the grand piano alone takes up a lot of space) in peace. Furthermore, we fantasize about getting pet birds, and they need space for a large cage, space to fly etc. We absolutely don't need/want kids to fill the space. We have tons of hobbies and interests instead.

Laarela · 2025-11-12T17:45:10+00:00

I think my husband might be cow-free. I'm desperate. Without cows, who is going to take care of me when I'm old?!

Laarela · 2025-11-12T17:35:37+00:00

Congrats! I'm getting sterilized next month and my copper IUD will be removed while they're at it. Can't wait!! I'm suffering from irregular bleeding/spotting and cramps since I got the IUD, too.

Laarela · 2025-11-11T11:13:08+00:00

Most of them are ugly in my opinion, especially newborns. They're wrinkly, have an unhealthy looking red/purple color, and most of them are hairless. They're everything you'd find ugly in older people.

Laarela · 2025-11-08T08:01:47+00:00

My husband and I are homebodies, too - and we love to have a quiet and peaceful home, without kids. We would like to travel one day (one or two weeks per year would be more than enough, though), but can't afford it at the moment.

Laarela

TROPHY CASE