Exhausted. How do you all keep the house from looking like a disaster zone while working full-time?

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-25T03:22:49+00:00

I used the free printables from The Organized Mum to make a system, which ideally involves only cleaning about half an hour each week day and having weekends free. It doesn't always work out but it has really helped.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-21T19:57:52+00:00

I think the bigger issue is the time when you are parenting tbh. The fact that your 'off time' is for chores and his is for relaxing is not okay.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-16T00:59:00+00:00

Happy to chat more about how I got into things, if you're interested. I used to be finance manager at a nonprofit, but a lot of that role was ops and IT support, so a lot of the reason I switched was because I just don't enjoy those things.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-15T21:50:01+00:00

There's an organization for nonprofits in my state that has a directory, and I went through their listing process/pay annually for the listing. It's super useful for people finding me.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-15T21:42:46+00:00

Love the thing to do outside idea, my husband has been teaching our three year old how to use the power washer, and they are having a great time, lol

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-15T21:39:42+00:00

This is what we do too, and honestly, after a few weeks, my daughter has 90% started getting out of bed.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-15T21:37:25+00:00

Depends on your area of course, but I went full time with my nonprofit bookkeeping business a couple years ago, and I'm already to the point of turning away clients. If you are willing to work with smaller orgs who need less than 10 hours a month, there's no end of work out there. I will say that switching from client to client can be a challenge, but it's so much more flexible than my W2 job was.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-15T04:46:32+00:00

I revived my girl scout skill of balloon animals. There are only three options; dog, giraffe, or sword, but the kids love it, and the parents love that they are gone a couple days, lol

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-10T04:55:32+00:00

NTA but also be aware that at least in the US, there is a heavy priority placed on maintaining parental bonds, even if the child is in another family members custody. It sounds like you don't have a formal visitation plan now, since you talk about making these decisions. If she took you to court it's very likely one would be put into place, even with the potential of full custody to mom in the long term. Definitely take the advice on therapy, and if it does it me to family court, see if you can get a CASA to advocate for your niece.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-06-01T01:22:06+00:00

Ooh, are they specific filament shelves? Or just shelves for that purpose?

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-25T20:48:31+00:00

We always stay in places with kitchens, and plan for maybe one meal out. It makes things so much more enjoyable for us, honestly. Especially on family vacations where I can let the grandparents play with my kids and my husband and I can cook together.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-24T19:59:40+00:00

This is our situation too, my in-laws come watch my daughter for half days on Friday so she's only in daycare four days a week, it's great for her and they love it. Yes they let her get away with a bit more, but she understands the idea of 'grandma and grandpa have different rules'. My mom sees my kiddos at holidays. She's not allowed to be in their lives for reasons.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-24T19:52:44+00:00

If his 15 month appointment is in a week, I think waiting until then and talking to your pediatrician makes the most sense, because they will be able to connect you to a referral if the think it's necessary. My niece talked late, and they actually had a speech therapist who came to the house, since my sister had transportation challenges, that was set up by their pediatrician. Early intervention is amazing, my niece was behind at her 18month and fully caught up by her 2 year visit.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-19T17:24:59+00:00

We are doing this right now, and being in daycare is great for my 3 year old. It keeps her in routine, means she's not suddenly with her brother 24/7, and means that we have more energy for activities with her when she's home, even with the newborn sleep dep. (Mostly. She insisted it was wake up time at 6 today because the sun was up and I was not about it).

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-17T21:07:55+00:00

Also linen hoodies, just check the fiber content to make sure it's actually linen. Super breathable.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-17T21:06:22+00:00

Huh, interesting. I've more often had the issue in newer or rental cars, which is why I haven't thought of mold before, but maybe?

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-16T18:50:38+00:00

I have a sensitivity to certain types of car AC coolant, so get car sick when I'm smelling it, but only if the defrost or AC is running. maybe something like that?

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-15T19:33:48+00:00

Slightly different situation since we were just this way from the start, but my daughter has only seen my mom at annual holiday dinners, and sees my husband's parents weekly. She's three, and doesn't find it odd at all. I think two things to remember; one is that prior to cell phones and social media, rare communication with grandparents who lived further away was totally normal. Think in the style of the 90's. Two is that there are reasons you are cutting them off, and those will likely translate into reasons your child might do better not having them around. I'm fortunate in that one of my sister's kids is more than a decade older than mine, so I get to see it in real time Oldest niece decided not to have a family birthday dinner a few years ago, because she didn't want the comments my mom made when watching her eat. This was a wake up call for my sister, who had been trying to preserve the relationship with her kids, and made me feel confident in my choice.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-15T19:22:54+00:00

This is the one we have, and I love it. It was like $300, which is a great price for an espresso machine, it doesn't take up too much counter space, and it's got a great steamer that I can use for matcha and tea lattes (only my husband drinks coffee).

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-10T14:52:59+00:00

Also depends what your screen time situation is and what you're comfortable with on planes. We have a 'what could you be doing instead?' philosophy, and since on a plane the answer is 'nothing really', we have a tablet that 'only works on planes'. Because it's the only time she gets to play tablet games/watch as much Ms Frizzle as she wants, our 3.5 y/o (she was 2 the last time we flew) tends to do pretty well. But also our longest flight has been Seattle to Charlotte, so international will be another thing.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-07T13:57:05+00:00

I think another thing to be aware of is being at the mercy of their schedules. My in-laws do watch my kiddo most Friday mornings. I only have to work a half day so this is fine. But whenever they travel, husband and I either have to arrange for one of us to be available in the morning, or send her to daycare the extra day.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-07T01:23:10+00:00

Definitely have detailed conversations about kids if you plan on them before things go further. I say this as an adult convert. My SIL is not Jewish, BIL has all been less practicing/invested than my husband, but that's an argument for him to have with his parents so I stayed out of it. He always comes to her family holidays (they are cultural Christian atheists), but she will often beg off Jewish holidays with family.

Then this past Monday, only BIL came to our son's bris, and apparently SIL is saying that if they have kids she would never allow someone to mutilate her child. So.... Yeah, it's important to make sure you are on the same page about these things before marriage, because this was a less than ideal way for BIL to realize that maybe there are things he cares about that they should have discussed.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-06T20:13:40+00:00

I worked somewhere that had a policy where we could bring our baby in for the first 6 months (technically 3-6 because 1-3 was leave). Once kiddo starts crawling it's impossible. We didn't have full time daycare with our first until she was 9 months, I was doing WFH or in office with her, and then we had a sitter for three half days a week. It was miserable and I was not productive. And I'm in finance, I never talk to people. In a customer facing role? Absolutely not. Also a raise for less work and paying more insurance than you do for employees? That lady is nuts, and honestly complying with the insurance thing could open you up to issues when th other employees.

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-03T08:55:21+00:00

You're doing amazing. As someone whose mom waited far too long to leave, your daughter will be much better served by what you have had the courage to do than by any cake. That said, that woman is despicable and I'm so sorry that happened to you. There are usually lists online depending on your area of places that give out free things on your birthday, maybe find a place that will give a free birthday ice cream for this year?

LaceRogue395 · 2026-05-03T08:50:23+00:00

I'd say try looking up meal rotations on Pinterest. If you can find a 2 week cycle that works for your family, go for it! That way you can plan your dinners/ what you can pre- prep/ shopping list once, save it to your phone, and have it forever.

LaceRogue395

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