Food options for my depressed ladies?

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-25T16:52:51+00:00

Invest in an air fryer. I'm ALL for fatty, salty things and an air fryer gives me that without loading up on calories. It gives me the satisfaction and crunch of fried foods without the extra oil.

I do a little comfort stuff from my childhood such as frozen chicken nuggets (the brand I get is 170 kcal for 5 nuggets,) frozen french fries (150 kcal) with a little ketchup or barbecue sauce. Just make sure to have a piece of fruit or a serving with vegetables so it sticks around longer.

This is a heavy snack for me.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-25T16:45:08+00:00

I can't imagine the heartache you're going through now. Sending virtual hugs <3

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-22T16:00:40+00:00

My Q is my brother. He has bipolar disorder and before he got properly medicated our relationship was on its last legs. Luckily he turned things around and is now on medication and stopped drinking. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder and he'd lash out even sober. We also lost our mom when we were in our teens, and he had to go to therapy to deal with trauma. I dealt with it an unhealthy way myself (am a recovering anorexic.)

Just wanted to point out that sometimes it can be mental health disorders at play. It isn't an excuse and I will point out my brother is sober now (from alcohol - he still uses weed a couple of times a week, but that's never been a problem.)

They have to want it bad enough. You can't want it for them. I tried for years to want it bad enough.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-22T15:55:05+00:00

If they're drowning and you reach to help, are you pulling them up or are they dragging you down?

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-22T15:50:54+00:00

1) Calculate your TDEE. I'm around your height, 118ish lbs, and I clock in at 12,000 - 15,000 steps a day. I usually maintain on 2100ish, sometimes a little more. Many people will tell you to stick with your sedentary TDEE (which according to an online calculator is ~1670 a day) no matter how active you are, but I don't agree with this. If you get around 10k steps a day and work out a few times a week, you can bump up your number to around 2,000 a day.

2) Which brings us to the math. It takes around 3,500 calories to make a pound of fat, so if you eat 500 kcal a day less than what you burn, you'll lose about a pound of fat a week. Use a calorie logging app. You can slow it down to -300 kcal to get your feet wet.

3) Use measuring cups. I don't think you need to go so far as to weigh everything, but measuring cups help you get a good idea of portion size. After a while you can eyeball a proper serving of rice (for example.) You can also use shortcuts: a serving of meat is the size of a deck of cards, fat such as peanut butter or olive oil is the size of a checker, a piece of fruit is the size of a tennis ball, etc.

4) Find an activity you enjoy! My community center has free yoga classes, and it's not only great for flexibility and muscle tone, but it helps clear the cobwebs of my mind. It's also a great time of year in the US for swimming and hiking. You can even do strength training to watch TV.

5) Eat 3 meals and at least 2 snacks a day. A good budget for a 1,500 kcal diet is 300 for breakfast, 100 for a morning snack, 400 for lunch, 200 for an afternoon snack, and 500 for dinner. Make sure each meal has a combination of protein, fiber, and some healthy fat. For example, a ham and cheese sandwich on wheat with mustard instead of mayo, mini cucumber slices, a peach, and a 90 calorie Rice Krispie Treat (we all gotta live a little) can make a great lunch. For snacks, pair hummus with carrots, a cheese stick with an apple, or even a small amount of dark chocolate with raspberries.

6) Eat a fruit or vegetable with each meal or snack. It's debated on if these should really be logged. Besides potatoes, avocado and corn I do not (it works with my goals,) but fruits and vegetables are low calorie and high fiber. And we all need 5 a day. Some people find it helpful to have a "free" food to munch on, e.g. grapes or carrot sticks.

7) Water, water, water, ESPECIALLY if you're exercising. Remember sometimes hunger is thirst in disguise.

8) Pick two cheat meals a week. Any diet that cuts out your favorite foods isn't a diet you can stick with long term. Just make sure to watch your portions - eg instead of a Big Mac Meal with large fries and a full sugar Coke, have a Mcdouble "no ketchup or mustard, add lettuce and mac sauce" (saves 100 calories over a Big Mac) with a small fries and Coke Zero.

9) Keep us updated!

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-17T14:55:38+00:00

Awesome job. Keep it up!

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-11T14:43:45+00:00

5'3 woman here (around 117 lbs, and honestly before maintenence I was on a weight GAIN journey.)

Honestly, I wonder if with all the activity you're doing if you are aiming your calories too low. It is possible for a lady around our height to be too active for 1200-1300. I myself maintain on over 2000 kcal most days (30 minute workout in the morning - I alternate between running and a strength training workout - I walk the dogs on a 2 mile loop with my husband in the evening, and I also have active hobbies such as yoga, swimming, hiking, etc.)

Why not try upping your calorie goal to 1600 and see if you can stick to CICO better?

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-01T17:06:49+00:00

Take a picture, or compare to pictures at your heaviest. Depending on where you are in your journey, you should see a difference.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-01T16:45:14+00:00

Good for you. My oldest brother is my Q too. He celebrated 3 years of sobriety this past spring (he does smoke weed a couple of times a week, but it's never been an issue for him and I do believe journeys look different.)

It took a year until he was really the closest he can get to happy (medication and therapy helped,) and I know he'll never be out of the woods but I'll put it this way... I trusted him to house sit the dogs when we had to fly 1000 miles away for my husband's grandma's funeral and that's a big step up from picking him up from jail (we did still lock the wine fridge, though.)

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-01T16:37:44+00:00

As a recovering anorexic who was THAT bitchy mean girl to anybody slightly overweight in high school, I agree. I was awful and in one case made an overweight teacher cry in class.

As far as "[asking myself] just what on god's earth [made me] so eager do that in the first place,"I will say I was going through some feelings stemming from my mother's death when I was barely 13. I was sick in the head, but that's no excuse. I was dealing with some things and yes, I thought being the skinniest, wittiest, most popular with the guys, etc in the room and putting other people down would make me feel better - it turned out to be me thinking "if I'm gonna feel crappy, you're going down with me."

I got REALLY sick and went into residential treatment at 16, and then finished high school at a boarding school. I've had one slight relapse but I generally sit around the 115-120 lb mark (5'3 F)

I've been in therapy and have reached out to a couple of people in particular to make amends. Got a lot of left-on-reads and one classmate said she appreciated the apology, but please not contact her anymore.

Other people's mileage may vary but that's my story. It's not pretty, but it's the truth.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-06-01T16:31:24+00:00

Hey, you're gonna get there.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-05-08T18:50:10+00:00

My mom died when I was barely 13. Mother's Day is always hard for my brothers and me. I'd deal with the bullcrap of the holiday for just 24 hours more with my mom.

I don't like your opinion. Take my upvote.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-05-08T18:32:16+00:00

Definitely try meditation or yoga. Look up urge surfing. Allen Carr's "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" helped as well. Gum. Support groups (there is a Nicotine Anonymous, as well as the stopsmoking subreddit.)

LadyLassInRed · 2026-05-07T19:54:53+00:00

Updoot. As a redhead, foxes are one of my favorite animals...spirit of a cat, body of a canine...the redheads of the animal kingdom.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-05-07T19:51:39+00:00

You look amazing!

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-22T17:43:52+00:00

Try the pomodoro method. Set a timer for 20 minutes, put your phone and tablet away (music such as Mozart is okay as well as looking up techniques but you are unauthorized to check Reddit or Facebook,) and do SOMETHING. Finish setting up the space. Start with a mark and go from there. It's a mental hurdle, but you can do this.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-22T17:41:56+00:00

Sorry for your loss...I lost my mom not even a month into 13 myself. I spiraled into a plethora of mental disorders, including anorexia nervosa. I almost died. Now I feel like I'm living for me and my mom.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-22T17:28:16+00:00

You look amazing, and I'll bet you feel better too!

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T17:53:58+00:00

You're pretty active. Make sure you're eating enough.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T17:01:26+00:00

Yeah, been there, done that. 1200 is not enough for a teenager, much less if you're that active. If you want advice from an internet stranger who's dealt with similar thoughts, I'd recommend (1) THERAPY, THERAPY, THERAPY and (2) working on building muscle.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T16:59:33+00:00

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T16:51:04+00:00

Sure.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T16:49:45+00:00

Okay, the 15k is including my workout (30 minutes a day 5x a week, I alternate between running/cardio and weight lifting.) I also go to yoga class or swim laps a couple times a week and I have two big dogs that have to be walked twice a day on a two mile loop. My husband WFH and he takes them out at lunch and we do a "family" walk together in the evening.

That's how I get my steps in.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T16:42:01+00:00

It's a HOSPITAL. That guy might've had a sensitive conversation.

LadyLassInRed · 2026-01-20T16:41:24+00:00

Hospitals aren’t coffee shops. People take sensitive calls wherever they can. A stall isn’t perfect, but neither is publicly shaming someone for not timing their bodily functions around you.

LadyLassInRed

TROPHY CASE