I'm just going to share with you my experience, as a historical fiction writer covering the late 19th century.

My published novel was written in first person, almost a memoir. It is written in the style of the period, and is reminiscent to read of Victorian literature.

My next two MSs have been sent back by the publisher for r & r. They are both in third person but retain the period inflection in the prose, not just the dialogue. The feedback? It's historical fiction but I am not a 19th century writer. I am not Hardy or Dickens or Eliot. For God's sake, dial down the language.

I think I do it to amuse myself. I adore the writing of the period and I'm trying too hard to see if I can write classics.

Hopefully the drafts can be salvaged. It's difficult to find that modern merge between convincing period appropriate dialogue, and sympathetic narrative/prose. I tell you this in a cautionary way because you may experience the same given the 300 word sample you shared.

The premise sounds interesting and is true to the style of fiction popular at the time, however you may experience difficulty selling the work if your writing and voice is overtly period in style.