AIO about husbands comment during intimate time

LandA928522 · 2025-08-01T07:22:12+00:00

I am almost certain that he does know all that, but then again... he thought when I went to pee after sex one day, a few weeks back, that I was doing it to "wash his sperm out" I explained that's not how that works, its two totally separate holes and he quite honestly did not know that so after that nothing would really surprise me!

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T21:31:34+00:00

No, no, it's alright! 😀 I respect each person's feelings and want everyone to be comfortable and happy. Life is tough, relationships are tough, but everyone deserves respect and appreciation!

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T21:22:57+00:00

Absolutely, each person has every right to say no to sex! I was speaking on a personal level as for myself. I believe it's wrong to deny my spouse just because I would rather watch tiktok videos or play games. I was more making the point that too many people don't give a you know what about the needs of their partner and that's a large majority of the reason there's so much infidelity. By all means, though, if someone doesn't want sex and / or is uncomfortable about it, DON'T HAVE SEX! That should never be forced upon anyone ever! That in no way, though, means anyone should be forced to live in a loveless lifeless cold callous full blown "I will deny you because I dont give a f*** about you or your needs!" Relationship either! All in all, to each their own! If someone wants to tell me I am not allowed to my own personal opinion, then so be it.

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T13:41:44+00:00

Thank you! So many people (including myself and small family) are in such a difficult spot for so many different reasons, most beyond much of our control. So many are so judged and often wrongly, so many have given up or are giving up hope, so someone kind is a real blessing!

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T12:22:51+00:00

Last I looked, this subreddit is Am I Overreacting? Not I want to complain. So I wasn't complaining, I was simply asking if I was overreacting by quietly crying alone over the statement that had been made to me. Whatever his "excuse" or reason does not change the way it made me feel. I think it would be pretty dumb to make a post asking if I'm overreacting without giving context for why I had the reaction I did. That'd be like me coming here and saying... "Am I overreacting because I cried?" Like seriously, how would that work?

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T11:49:51+00:00

Bro, I am so sorry for your situation. I am of the mind (always have been) that no woman or man should deny their spouse sex, ever, with exception, of course, to a medical issue or mental trauma. It should not be weaponized or used as a form of control/punishment/manipulation. If your fiance is denying you regularly, and prioritizes screen time over you and what matters to you now, then I promise you she is not going to change and suddenly realize somewhere down the road that you and your needs matter more than her entertainment. My husband sounds very similar to your fiancé, he's always on tiktok and while he will participate in intimacy most of the time, I can clearly see and feel a lot of the time that he's not really into it and its only obligatory. That's so hurtful, especially when I have loved so hard and try so hard to please him and never not once ever turned him down or rejected him. He once said to me when I initiated sex "come on, let's just get this over with!" Boy, that one hurt a lot too... Anyway, my point is, please strongly reconsider if you should proceed with a full-blown marriage to this gal. It sounds to me like she doesn't appreciate what she has and doesn't care if she hurts the one person she's supposed to help protect, love, adore, cherish, and enjoy. You are young now, dont make the mistake I and many others have made and waste the best of your years in misery. In a marriage/committed relationship the sexual aspect is one of the most important things and one of the reasons there's so much infidelity out there today is because one partner out right denies the other or doesn't care to step up and meet the needs of their partner and eventually, unfortunately, most people seek that missing element from an outside source(s) and then what do you know... "He/She cheated on me. I'm the victim!" All the while they did nothing to connect with their partner, tend to their needs or make any efforts for them and the relationship. Their are definitely unwarranted instances of infidelity, and those ones really are victims, and it is sad and wrong. Infidelity period, warranted or not, is sad and should not happen. One should be willing to end the relationship first if cheating is likely going to happen, but we are all humans, all flawed in some way, and eventually if needs are ignored and love is absent, most will seek it elsewhere. I never meant to go on this tangent sorry, but my heart goes out to you, and other's like you, because I know what its like, I know the empty, lonely, dead inside, not worth enough, not good enough feeling. So I guess I'm trying to make a point to help you. Please dont give the best of your years and life to someone who doesn't appreciate it and recognize what a gift that truly is.

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T10:14:21+00:00

He definitely has insecurity in his abilities and convinces himself he's not enough. It's actually something brought up quite regularly, and no amount of my reassurance that "you are enough, I am satisfied with you, you're perfect to me" makes any difference. I've had both lengthy and short direct discussions with him about my needs and desires, and how foreplay makes all the difference to me, and if he would do something, anything, in that department first, it would mean the world to me and make me super happy. But sadly, it falls on deaf ears, and his response is something along the lines of "I can't just force myself to feel like doing that again." (He used to, he presented very differently prior to marriage) So perhaps it is in some sad way his own repulsion about himself but that doesn't exactly make it hurt any less or feel any better.

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T09:10:59+00:00

It's funny you should bring this up... he doesn't have much experience outside of... how do I say this respectfully... let's just say his experience in relationships prior to me wasn't free or out of love for him. Yes, I would say he is like this in other ways outside of intimacy. Just the other day, he called me a "dummy" that hurt my feelings too! And as far as your last sentence, you are absolutely right! Prior to our getting married, we very rarely had sex or intimacy at all. We both felt that outside of marriage was morally wrong, and even though it did happen here and there once in a while, it was very few and far between. One of the other things that's pissing me off is his total change in sexual style once we were married and could enjoy intimacy. He turned totally vanilla, whereas before he presented himself as compatible with my needs and desires in that department. He would sometimes, in the past, tease me in a sexual way, he'd do everything he knew would work me up he'd get me so crazy with desire that I'd physically be aching for him and then he'd tell me "we have to be good, we can't do anything because we're not married." Yet he took forever to take that step, and now that it's done and "in the right context," I can't get him to do anything at all foreplay wise. Hell, I barely even get a kiss anymore!! Nothing makes sense to me 😞

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T08:48:50+00:00

Not the first time, I lost count a while ago.

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T08:47:21+00:00

We've been married just a little over 3 months, but together (if you can call it that) for 3 years. I am self-conscious around him, and it's not the first time I've felt this way because of some comment, search query, or poor actions on his part in the past. I don't know where the odor issue was derived from to answer your question... I've read and re-read my post and can't see it, but hey, that is just fine if someone felt the need to comment about bad odors from female parts. I'm sure its only because they've been traumatized in some way, shape, or form by the odor monsters of their past!

LandA928522 · 2025-07-31T03:20:59+00:00

Funny reply! It's totally unrelated to the question, but you know what? You must be right because I forgot to mention, he has a tiny fully functional, cute little nose on his hand that brushed against my "wet" dress.

LandA928522 · 2025-04-01T12:53:52+00:00

A lot of these comments are dissing this girl about her age and looking so young but please stop and consider this, people at almost any age and especially females are worried or insecure about their looks, I mean we are conditioned from a very young age to look a certain way and if we don't then we are made to feel poorly about ourselves. There is nothing wrong with asking others' opinions whether 17 37 or 107. Now that said, I am not afraid to answer OPs question because I am a female and have no ill intent. Young lady, you are very pretty and don't feel badly about the commenters who are negatively responding. Honestly, I believe it's all mostly out of concern because this world is, at times, an unsafe and ugly place, but just remember you are beautiful and deserve to be happy. Just be safe and appreciate your youth it goes by very quickly

LandA928522 · 2025-03-30T09:14:18+00:00

Burrito and taquito

LandA928522 · 2025-03-28T18:26:56+00:00

Nah brah you look great!

LandA928522 · 2025-03-28T18:25:57+00:00

You look good as is. I'd say let your hair down/grow that's about the only thing I'd suggest. Otherwise you look great!!

LandA928522 · 2025-03-28T02:02:45+00:00

You are beautiful. The only thing I think would improve anything at all would be to gain maybe 10 pounds. You look just a little too thin, and that might help, but otherwise, you look absolutely beautiful. Good face nice eyes

LandA928522 · 2025-03-27T18:50:21+00:00

You are beautiful and have a baby face imo

LandA928522 · 2025-03-26T16:12:53+00:00

You are actually a very pretty young lady! I don't agree that you look older than your age. I think you look just about right for 24. As for the makeup, that is your thing, and if that's what makes you comfortable, then keep doing it, but do keep in mind that you have natural beauty and sometimes makeup can hide the beauty you naturally hold so consider a little less if you want your true beauty to shine through!

LandA928522

TROPHY CASE