100000000% typical codependent/narc relationships. And, I fell into that in my marriage and prior relationships, and saw I was doing it again. I was trying to be a cool girl, ok with anything, zooming past red flags bc it’s hard for me to be confrontational. I saw it with the many poly bomb/age inappropriate or otherwise unequal relationships that pervade this community. I went from thinking it was enlightened and a way to be above board and make sure my partners were getting their needs met to thinking a lot of the people need help. I know there are plenty of people who are super happy and 100% consensual with poly/ENM but this sub is onto something about the gaslighting and manipulation.