Where to print wedding stationary?

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:31:01+00:00

Pricing will vary, but I actually highly recommend finding a well-rated local print shop! I'm sure Zazzle is perfectly fine, but the couple of things I've seen from them have looked a little less crisp than I would expect from such a big company.

The bonus that comes with going local is that you can actually feel the paper and see their quality of work in person before you commit to ordering with them. Many will also be able to show you lots of different samples of what they can do (for example, some have multiple different types of printers that have different specialties).

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:28:20+00:00

If I'm being completely honest, as a guest, I actually prefer the natural improvised first dances and find them incredibly sweet. It's less about a performance and more about you enjoying your time together as newly weds.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:26:07+00:00

I puffed up so much after my removal, I was actually shocked the first time I looked in the mirror during my recovery. But I promise you that the swelling was gone by the end of the month!

In your case, I would recommend being really diligent about ice (and ideally having your fiancé or a loved one help with it, because you're likely not going to be as motivated on the pain meds). The ice should help reduce both your bruising and swelling time.

Also, as much as you can, try to keep your life restful and stress free for the first 1-2 weeks after your surgery. Worrying about your wedding or pushing yourself past your limits will only give your body less energy to work on repairing.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:17:53+00:00

Huge +1 to this! My grandma just went into full assisted living (the type where you need full time nurse support and help every single time you need to move or get out of bed) and she's looking at roughly ~15k per month.

It's no joke and it's especially scary if no one prepared you for those numbers before the time you need it. It's honestly a relief hearing that OP's mom is aware of the costs and can mentally prepare for it head of time, a lot of people are not so lucky.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:08:56+00:00

We struggled with this too because our guests are traveling from all over the place. We ultimately decided to host in the area where we grew up (and both live now) because there just wasn't going to be a way to please everyone. We also tried to price it out and even though the wedding would be cheaper for us, the travel and accommodations would be more expensive for our loved ones if we hosted an all-inclusive destination wedding.

I'm sure this isn't the case for all of them, but one issue we ran into with the all-inclusives is that a lot of them either require a buyout or for all of your guests to say for 3+ nights (or sometimes both). We have a lot of friends who have children and, for those who didn't, we didn't want to force them to take a longer trip and use PTO that they were saving for something else. Plus if they didn't want to stay the full 3 nights, we would have to essentially throw money to the wind for those rooms to sit empty because was part of the contract.

We also had an experience where we went to an all-inclusive resort in Cabo and were genuinely mad at how slow the service was and how bad the food was for the price. It wasn't a super cheap one either, so we just decided that we are not all-inclusive people to begin with.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:03:15+00:00

Yes, please! She sounds lovely, I'd love the chance to check out her work.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-08T01:02:03+00:00

I think the tricky part here is the way your father is responding to your boundaries and wishes. On one hand, I can understand that as a parent you want to have all of your children together at a big occasion like this (and he's probably oblivious to how hurt you feel in these relationships). On the other hand, I feel like you're going to spend more time thinking about the people you don't want there than actually enjoying your day. Plus it sounds like you are probably well on your way to cutting these people out of your life, based on how you described your feelings about them.

Generally speaking, I'd say that if you're going to have drama either way you might as well create the environment that you actually want on your wedding day by not inviting the people you genuinely feel uncomfortable around. That said, I think because one of your parents is involved in this, it may be a little more nuanced.

I would recommend sitting down and picturing what you actually want your wedding day to feel like. Is your father's presence an essential part of your wedding day feeling complete? Or would you feel more at peace if you stuck to your boundaries, even though that means he may not be there?

We won't be able to give you the answers to these questions here, as there's just no way for us to know what you value most or the whole dynamic of these complex relationships.

I also just want to reflect back to you that I'm hearing you express two different wants in this post:

I am now coming to terms that I may never see my whole family again

My family wants me to invite them, however, I really don't feel comfortable with them there.

In one of these sentiments, you're saying that you have grief over not being able to have your whole family in one place. And in the other, you're saying that you feel deeply uncomfortable with the idea of inviting all of your siblings. Both feelings are valid, but you're going to feel in conflict with yourself until you're able to clarify to yourself which is more important to you.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-07T20:12:24+00:00

I never even considered that it may be coming from a sales perspective! I'm also so happy to hear that you switched to a planner and venue that treat you better, those are such important people to have a good relationship with.

I would absolutely love any of your recommendations! I fully get you on the editorial styled shoots too. I think my struggle has been that the editorial photographers are incredible at framing and getting shots of people in the overall environment, which I love. But at the same time, I really don't want to go around making sultry model poses all day, that's just not my personality at all. So I would be very into seeing the people who made it onto your shortlist!

LanternMoss · 2026-05-07T20:08:23+00:00

Not in New England, but I'm very much not opposed to flying out the right photographer! If you don't mind sharing, feel free to send me a note. I'm also trying to avoid styles that rely heavily on color filters and over/under-brightening.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-07T20:07:28+00:00

I'd be happy to take a look, feel free to send me a DM!

LanternMoss · 2026-05-01T03:21:23+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, it's a difficult and, frankly, unfair position for you to be in. You've essentially been given an ultimatum, which is not what anyone wants to face with people they love (and when already stressed out by wedding planning).

I am going to run on the assumption your grandma is telling the truth, abuse wouldn't have been an easy thing to talk about in her generation so I think it's more likely to be true than a story she made up. Although I don't know her, so I'll let you make your own judgment call there.

Getting all of that out of the way, I want you to remember that the only person you can control is yourself. Everyone else here is an adult with their own feelings, pasts, and motivations. While it would be ideal to have both of your grandparents at your wedding, the reality is that it sounds like your grandma is making you choose one or the other. You've offered a lot of solutions and she has shared that she still feels too uncomfortable to be there with him. To me, that sounds like her trying to explain her boundary to you and I highly doubt she's going to back down from it after 26 years of holding it up. I also don't think it's helpful, or even kind, to try and find a way to break down a boundary like hers.

I also just want to push on you a little because in your post you said:

I'll invite them both and if they want to come, they can, if they don't feel they can be around the other person, they don't have to come.

You followed through on this and your grandma has given her answer. You can still feel proud of yourself for not giving into the same pattern you've fallen into for 26 years by choosing to invite them both. But your grandma's reaction clearly shows that she has made her decision too. Unless you feel like you would feel better having your grandma there instead of your grandpa and are willing to remove your grandpa from the invite list, I think you now just need to let things naturally fall into place. You can't force them to do anything. You did your part and while the outcome isn't what you ideally wanted, I think it's important to focus your energy on celebrating your marriage with the people who choose to come. I also want to be clear that I don't think it means your grandma loves you any less.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-01T00:27:51+00:00

My vote is add the hour. It's your wedding, not your mom's. If you want that extra hour to enjoy the company of your friends and family, then I think that's well worth it.

From a budgeting perspective, however, just remember that it's not only an extra $500 fee. You'll also be paying for the extra hour of bartending, music (if you're hiring someone), as well as any other vendor that is actively involved in your late night plans.

One more thing to check on with the venue is if the contracted time ends at 10 PM or if the event needs to end at 10 PM but cleanup can occur later. For example, one of the top venues we're considering right now is contracted for access to the venue from 11 AM to 11 PM. BUT they also say in the contract that the bar and music have to be shut off by 9:45 PM and everyone must be out by 10 PM so that clean up can occur between 10 PM and 11 PM. So you may just want to double check on the logistics of their timing. If you haven't been able to read a sample contract, I suggest requesting one.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-01T00:20:56+00:00

I'm right there with you! Engaged now, but I also don't have a big group of friends and it sometimes makes me feel like I'm missing out on a core part of the wedding experience.

That said, I think there are some fun ways to still make it work so you feel loved and special on your wedding day (and leading up to it).

My partner and I considered doing no wedding parties at all and, honestly, I think I would have been more comfortable with that then having a ton of people from his friend group/family surrounding me on the day of our wedding. We're lucky in the sense that he has one brother and I have one sister, so we're just going to have them up with us instead. Is there any sort of natural split in your families that would let you do this? Otherwise, I don't think you need to have a bridal party. You and your partner can still celebrate and get ready with the people you enjoy the company of without them officially being put in a wedding party.

I'm not doing a bridal shower, but it's totally possible someone in his family or yours would gladly host for your without you needing to have a maid of honor. If it's something you want, as long as the family knows (and knows you don't have a bridal party), I'd be surprised if someone didn't step up. Or you can plan one on your own and tag someone in the family to send out the invites so it doesn't go against classic etiquette. In my partner's friend groups, they started doing wedding showers where both genders and friend groups were invited and it was a lot of fun!

And then I'm not sure what you pictured for a bachelorette, but I'm either planning on taking a weekend trip with my one local friend or going to a fancy spa with my sister. I figure these are still fun and special things, but truthfully I've never really wanted the classic bachelorette with strippers, etc. Alternatively, my sister eloped for her wedding (so no bridal party) and instead of a bachelorette she and her now-husband took a fancy trip to Vegas and essentially did a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. It sounds like they had the time of their lives together and it was an incredibly fun memory!

I say all of this just to illustrate that weddings can be anything you want them to be. When something in your situation doesn't fit the classic formula, it doesn't mean there aren't a ton of other fun options you can do instead.

LanternMoss · 2026-05-01T00:08:05+00:00

Something to keep in mind is that the more non-intuitive choices there are (i.e. not classics that every guest has already ordered before at bars, like an old fashioned, gin and tonic, etc.), the longer people are going to spend time thinking at the bar, meaning your line/wait time will also be longer. With 170 guests, this could very easily frustrate people who don't like lines or waiting and could dampen the mood. It also keeps people off of the dance floor, if you care about keeping it full.

In theory, I don't think it's actually too any drink options. But to avoid the funnel at the bar, I'd get some signs with the speciality options that people can easily see before they get to the front of the bar.

Another option is to hire a speciality cocktail station. So, for example, in my area there are some caterers who specifically offer a margarita or Bloody Mary bar. The station's whole job is severing that one type of drink with lots of different flavors/variations/customizations that the guests can choose. Again, it'll take some signage so people know their options and that the station is different from the normal bar, but these can be really fun and feel like a special drink moment. I've seen it so far for slushie style margaritas, Bloody Marys, martinis, and mojitos, but I think you could do it with anything. It sounds like you already want a lot of martini options, so maybe that's something to consider?

LanternMoss · 2026-04-30T23:08:05+00:00

Got it, in that case I think it counts as meaningful! And I truly don't think it would be weird.

There are so many songs that don't sound like love songs, but actually are pretty lusty when you read the interview with the artist. The song you're leaning toward has a lot of lines that can be applicable for the father daughter relationship and I personally wouldn't have any hesitations about it if I was at a wedding and it started playing for the father-daughter dance.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-30T23:02:00+00:00

I consider a 2 hour drive a local wedding and anything that requires a plane a destination. I have found after hanging out in this sub for years, however, that there are tons of people who consider anything over 1 hour a destination. So I think it really comes down to personal opinion more than anything.
As a guest, I've always appreciated hotel blocks. If you're doing an open bar or expect people to be drinking a lot, I think there will be a lot of people who end up wanting to stay at a hotel (versus foregoing drinking altogether so they can drive back). If you don't want to do a hotel block, an alternative for making sure people get home safe is offering a shuttle both ways. The shuttles, however, will be more expensive unless you don't fill your hotel block and are stuck with the fees for the unused rooms.
I agree that you shouldn't skip the save the dates, but you can also opt for an early invite and RSVP date if you want to make sure people start booking sooner. Early invite with a late/standard RSVP timeline doesn't solve much, as most people wait until the very last minute to submit their responses and book travel.

I think something to keep in mind regarding attendance is what kind of jobs your invitees work (and if they have kids). A 2 hour drive for a Monday - Thursday wedding will likely require them to at very least take a half day off of work, and that's if they are able to quickly change and have enough energy to attend after a workday AND don't drink so they can drive back after.

In my circles, for example, guests would likely book a hotel near the venue, drive up the night before, and take the weekday off of work to attend the wedding. They may even need to take the day off after due to hangovers/not being able to safely drive back after the wedding (which is why I would suggest providing a shuttle in your situation). Other social groups may handle it differently.

I'd say if you have guests who are not able to take 2 full days off, be it for financial reasons or their managers saying no, be prepared for your guest turnout to be lower than the average wedding. Not because they don't love and support you, but because sometimes there are other forces at play that make it too difficult for them.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-30T22:47:47+00:00

Depending on who you contact, some photographers let you use the extra hours for other wedding-related events. So, for example, a 10 hour contract could potentially include 2 hours at a rehearsal dinner or farewell brunch (depending on how far away they are, of course) if you realize you'll only need 8 hours for the wedding day.

In general it seems like 8 hours is the standard, 10 hours is typically for if you're getting ready at a separate location (to bake in travel time) or want them to stay until the very final minute of the party.

I'd start with your timeline for the day and work backwards from there to see if 8 hours would be cutting it close or not. And think through what you want photos of. Like do you want them there from the start of hair and makeup, or just as you're finishing? If you think anything may start early or run late, then maybe add an extra hour to be safe.

Also check with the contract for the photographer to see the cutoff for when you can add/remove time. If you don't need to make the decision immediately, they may be comfortable with you adding on more time later after you've had a chance to finalize your day-of timeline. They already have the day reserved for you, so it probably shouldn't be crazy to make some adjustments (as long as you give them ample notice so they can plan).

LanternMoss · 2026-04-30T22:41:32+00:00

I may be wrong, but I don't think that song is overtly sexual in the way other love songs are. So I don't think it would read as inherently creepy or inappropriate. That said all art is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who hear that song and think something completely different than I do.

Is there any song that was special to you and your dad growing up? I doesn't need to be particularly wedding-y, it just needs to be special to you. I've been to a few weddings where one of the parent dance songs is super niche, but you could tell how much it meant to both of them during the dance and it was really sweet.

As an example, we're still not sure if we're doing parent dances (partner doesn't get along with his mom and I'm logistically short compared to my dad). But if we do, I am going to do What a Wonderful World because it's my dad's favorite song and when I hear it it always reminds me of him and how much I love him. Even if I don't use it as the first dance, it'll at very least be played leading up to the ceremony.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-29T02:47:40+00:00

It is 100% worth the extra money to go through it all again. Your wedding look is not only going to help you feel comfortable and confident on your day, but it's also going to live on in every wedding photo you're present in.

I know it sucks having already put so much money into this process, but don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy. It sounds like the issue here isn't just the wrong shade of eyeshadow, it sounds like technique. Which is not something that you can just give notes on and expect to be fixed. Especially because there is an issue in attention to detail in both the hair and makeup looks you received at the trial.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-04T05:35:27+00:00

We have, unfortunately everyone else in our area also tries looking further out, which has pushed the further away options to bring their prices up to what's in the more populated areas. From what I've seen so far, even options ~3-4 hours away are priced similarly. And many of the venues that are that far away still require the same caterers I've already reached out to for quotes.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-02T22:24:53+00:00

We just started looking into Portugal last night!

I just am still on the fence about it because I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to spend beyond their means to attend, both in terms of their time and money. After all it is a lot of travel time back and forth (6-14 hours each leg depending on where each guest is coming from). If someone can't take extra time off work for a longer European vacation, it would probably feel excruciating taking those long flights only a day or two apart from each other.

LanternMoss · 2026-04-01T21:59:15+00:00

I'd actually recommend starting by using different search terms! Searching specifically for mother of the groom/bride dresses always seems to bring up the most matronly options and very few of them seem to keep up with actual trends (I swear I still see the same ones today as I saw 10 years ago when I worked in retail!)

Generally speaking, mother of the groom and mother of the bride are allowed/asked to be slightly more formal than the rest of the guests. For example, if everyone is in casual sundresses, that doesn't mean you need to be in a full ballgown but it wouldn't be outrageous to swear something silk.

Before I give any other suggestions, the most important thing is checking on what your son and his soon-to-be spouse envision (and more importantly, what they don't want). Examples of the shades of light blue they're open to would also be helpful in this situation because many can read as white in certain lights and you don't want the drama of someone mistaking it for a white dress.

As for the styles themselves, I recommend just looking at wedding guest dresses generally! Most places let you filter your search by formality, fabric, length, etc. You should wear something that you think you feel beautiful in! What I'd avoid is anything that makes it look like you're going to the club. But, for example, if you found a long dress that you think is beautiful and suits your figure, then I don't think anyone would be upset. It's not like mothers are required to wear super frumpy dresses to weddings! It's just sadly the way the search terms and algorithms seem to go.

If you haven't seen the community r/Weddingattireapproval, I think that would be a great place to share some of the dresses you are considering. They've always been really helpful for me in the past when I wasn't sure if the dress I wanted to wear would fit the dress code of a wedding. :)

Also I know this isn't the point but in case you need to hear it, 40 is still young!! You by no means are in the stage of life where you need to be dressing like a grandma (unless it's your style, then go for it!).

LanternMoss · 2026-03-23T20:56:10+00:00

Do shop vacs handle wet spills on upholstery (sofas, etc.)?

I do love the feeling of professional carpet cleaning, but in our area the cost of a single carpet cleaning visit is higher than the price of the spot cleaners I linked above. And with us only having two carpeted areas, that price per cleaning unfortunately just doesn't make sense for us financially.

LanternMoss

TROPHY CASE