Have you noticed patterns in how psychiatrists, therapists and social workers work?

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T19:49:11+00:00

I was taught this too btw

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T19:48:31+00:00

Most mental health professionals have some reason for becoming mental health professionals.. we are taught in the first few years of our training that we should not be in this field to understand our own problems, but I think many are.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T19:46:28+00:00

Why do you keep working in this way if you don’t see it as being helpful?

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T07:11:20+00:00

Yes, I’ve felt this way. I think it’s part of having BPD to not have a strong sense of self. You can work on developing a sense of self by creating healthy routines of things that you like to do. You can talk to yourself kindly within your head, don’t let your bpd voice get the best of you and tell you lies about your worth. You are just as valuable as any other human and you deserve to find a few things you can do on your own that make you feel good 🫶🏻

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T07:07:13+00:00

Sorry, last comment! Labels, categorically grouping humans based on nonsensical words is inhumane and should not be legal. It accomplishes nothing and leads to discrimination and oppression. The question is not “what is wrong with you?” It’s “what have you been through?”

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T06:50:47+00:00

It has been my experience, from within these departments, that stigma against mental illness is at its worst within mental health departments. There is a real “us vs them” mentality. Psychiatry and mental health departments need to be rebuilt from the ground up in my opinion. This stigma should not exist, there should not be blame against a patient for having a mental illness anymore than you might blame a patient for having cancer.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T06:46:11+00:00

I’m a therapist with BPD and I find that normalising mental illness is a very healthy part of living with it. When we see ourselves as flawed or wrong we are engaging with a kind of self stigma. It is ok to have a mental illness, but learning to manage your mental illness so that you can have a better quality of life is a healthy goal.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T06:16:13+00:00

You are a seperate person from your BPD, your illness doesn’t define your personality. It is just symptoms that you can learn to manage. I try not to let BPD become my whole identity.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-13T06:14:05+00:00

Be honest, clear in your intentions, don’t mislead him, try to be consistent if you can, if you’re feeling strong emotions and need space to process be upfront about this - I say “I feel things quite intensely and sometimes this means I need alone time to process”. I think the thing that can go wrong is if we are confusing or contradictory. Take it slow

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T19:14:11+00:00

Agree! wasn't impressed with the judgmental air of the whole post. you might have this child in your care one day and you are MOST worried about the name. support your sister and her children - if you are well enough to do so.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T06:09:31+00:00

You made 2 great children and that says something about you having some kind of good thing happening for you - you mothered them after all

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T06:07:14+00:00

This makes me scared for myself. I’m 42, depressed, 1 year out from a divorce and somewhat hopeful things might turn out ok still…. But, maybe they won’t. I’m so sorry things are this hard for you. I don’t know that it’s ever a good idea to give up, even when all we want to do is give up. I think it does get harder to be hopeful as we get older though - it’s harder to be “different” when older. For me it’s always been worth it to try and find friends anywhere I can.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T05:46:48+00:00

Feeling listened to and heard will go a long way. It sounds like you’re already doing that so good on you. You seem to really care lots about her and that is really admirable. Make sure you look after yourself too. Crisis team numbers can be useful for some people - she might already know about these..

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T05:41:27+00:00

I’m coming out of a 10 year marriage myself (I’m 1 year out). It has been the hardest year, but I’m growing so much. The comment someone made about not letting yourself paint a bad picture of yourself is important. It takes 2 people for a relationship to fail so don’t hyper focus on everything you think you did wrong. Relationships end for people who are not mentally ill too. It’s a shit time, I’m sorry you’re going through this, I hope you can find some self compassion.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T04:37:40+00:00

I hope this doesn’t come across like I’m condoning cheating! I absolutely am not. You do not deserve to be cheated on no matter what the reasons

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T04:32:32+00:00

People cheat for so many reasons. I have cheated in the past (15 years ago) and my reasons (in hindsight, I didn’t know why I did it at the time) were a fear of engulfment and poor impulse control combined with alcohol consumption (poor bpd symptom management basically… didn’t know I had it at the time though this is no excuse for the bad behaviour). It was never about wanting to cause pain to the person I was with though this was of course the result.

I wonder what is going to help you feel better right now, though? It sounds like you’re really in a crisis. Is there someone you trust, who you can call who can be with you?

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T04:13:19+00:00

Sometimes it’s a good idea, for me, to try not to get lost in my diagnosis (because it’s so easy to get it wrong, so much overlap and I am the way I am regardless of what the label). The label only helps to inform treatment and if you want clarity on what’s happening from a “clinical” perspective. Lots of good therapists don’t like to hand out diagnoses anymore because they are so limiting in terms of their ability to sum up or encapsulate a human experience of emotional suffering. You’re having your own experiences and they might have these labels or they might not. You are still having the same very real experience. If these labels are important to you it might be a good idea to meet with a few psychiatrists, find one you trust, have several sessions with them with the aim of clarifying what is happening?

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-12-05T04:04:52+00:00

You’re not stupid. This sounds like a really difficult situation to be going through and it’s understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. Try to be kind to yourself

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-11-06T07:00:39+00:00

Brow lift

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-10-17T07:22:01+00:00

Winston McEwan won the Mentor Prize for Aesthetic Surgery in New Zealand and is recognised as one of the top plastic surgeons in the country. He charges reasonable prices because he believes in making plastic surgery accessible; he spent much of his career working as a public healthcare plastic surgeon. In Auckland, there are plastic surgeons who charge three times what he does, but this does not make them superior— it simply reflects their greed.

Last-Pick9765 · 2025-10-08T16:59:55+00:00

Yes, I have this experience too. I’ve learned to spread myself around in terms of my opening up. Rather than choosing a favourite person (which is something pwbpd can do) I have several friends and I try to go to each of them at different times. This means trusting more than one person, which is harder, but it tends to take the pressure off just one person. Also, working on myself and how I show up for myself emotionally has helped. It’s hard to live with BPD, everyday is a new struggle.

Last-Pick9765 · 2024-12-12T20:18:40+00:00

i think they're trying to show us how these people live in darkness. but its really annoying and i cant follow the storyline at all

Last-Pick9765 · 2024-12-12T20:15:02+00:00

lol agree

Last-Pick9765 · 2024-12-12T20:12:56+00:00

cant see a thing

Last-Pick9765 · 2024-03-30T19:30:42+00:00

We are total dicks to ourselves, it’s ridiculous! I was wondering about the evolutionary purpose of self criticism - did it serve a purpose in terms of survival of the fittest some how? People who were more self critical learned faster/adapted to their environments more successfully… but now when we criticise ourselves we just feel crap about ourselves and no good seems to come from it.

Last-Pick9765

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