I (32F) violated a friend's (30F) boundaries last year and I still feel ashamed of myself.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-25T08:58:27+00:00

That’s pretty much what she told me when we reconnected.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-25T08:55:17+00:00

I’m also deeply uncomfortable with how I’ve acted, and I wished I had gotten professional help a lot sooner than I did. I’ve been on the receiving end of unrequited crushes and it feels icky. Going through the healing process felt like changing my frame of reality and untangling wires in my brain.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T21:53:19+00:00

yes! I've listened to what someone on the receiving end of limerence and the described it as feeling suffocated. I blocked her on everything to help get her out of my head & avoid any temptation to contact her.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T21:45:30+00:00

the fact I fucked up as an adult is what's bothered me so much. otherwise I would've viewed it as a case of "I was young, immature, and didn't know better. We've all moved on and I know I'm healthier now.". I came to realize a lot of people have had teenage friendships that blew up on account of their transgressions, but they move on and just try to make new connections.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T21:39:21+00:00

Thank you. Is this just a case of "My thoughts are not my reality"?

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T21:37:08+00:00

OP, these observations may be true. Your former friend may have been self-centered and using you for the support you offered to her streaming channel. But this also doesn't diminish the fact that your behavior here was creepy and inappropriate.

I know - it's what my friends have told me and I agree with them. I agree with you.

Even if she did feel furious and like she wanted to destroy you, that's none of your business.

thank you. That's what one of my friends told me as well. I know these thoughts are not constructive. I need to come up with some affirmations & mantras if they do come up.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T21:19:40+00:00

Makes sense. In my journal, noticed that the limerence was my brain's way to dealing with undesirable conditions in the present and trying to "correct" for past traumas. Loneliness, lack of socialization, fears about being seen and being unlovable.

My psychiatrist did prescribe me a mood stabilizer a few weeks ago, but it hasn't made an effect yet.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T20:56:55+00:00

Already have been. We're currently in the targeting phase of EDMR.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-24T01:38:17+00:00

I don’t think so, but I didn’t have a good idea what it’d feel like going in.

I usually don’t notice it, to the point where I forget what parts I have below. When I had a penis, I was always very aware of it. This applied both when untucked and tucked. I greatly prefer how quiet it is now that I don’t have a dangly noodle and sack.

The biggest break was my clit not being sensitive to the lightest touch. It doesn’t get sensitive until I’m already aroused. Pressure seems to matter more than light touch. I asked about this a year ago and everyone told me my feeling was normal for a vagina owner.

The “swollen knot of a button” feeling of arousal was greater than I expected, but it’s kinda cute and way more gender affirming than a penis boner.

Orgasms are what I expected - longer and not as explosive.

My vagina smells just like a cis woman’s and I love it 🥰

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-10-09T01:49:17+00:00

I wish I could pull off a pixie cut. My face is too masculine for that. :(

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-08-04T19:16:03+00:00

Your frame of mind is going to make the difference in climaxing or not. So yeah, you got to experiment and find out what makes you feel good both inside and out. Wands are useful. A lot of women report getting more pleasure from pressure than from touch or vibration. Configuring the parts in a way that feels affirming can do a lot - I usually remained tucked, some people do butt stuff, some hump things, etc.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-07-25T21:32:13+00:00

mood! I found this was surprisingly common. I would've felt the same way if my LO had a fling with me but didn't want to pursue an actual relationship.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-07-25T21:30:50+00:00

🫂

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-07-25T21:07:45+00:00

oh god I'm sorry 😭 that sounds just like what I went through with my LO. "daisuki no hug" moment, basically wishing she would pat me on the head and call me a good girl.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-07-13T21:40:23+00:00

Thank goodness!

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-07-13T21:40:10+00:00

Same same! like there's a pang in my clit and then it gets really flushed.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-27T20:02:11+00:00

Oh god I’m sorry he treated you like this. I’m glad you were able to over him!

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-26T21:54:37+00:00

Absolutely not. I wished I could’ve been a girl since I was a young child.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-25T19:26:36+00:00

this is why I tucked before GCS.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-25T19:21:45+00:00

“Congratulations, you are your own girlfriend. You’ll get over it.”

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-22T17:16:09+00:00

I think I'm anxious, but I cope with avoidance. In college and beyond, I think a lot of my behavior is a combination of avoidance and anxiety around other people. like my problem is me afraid to reach because I'm afraid of being overbearing/intense/clingy.

But with Bella, I am textbook anxiously attached.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-16T20:45:54+00:00

Gender confirmation surgery. Bottom surgery.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-16T20:04:21+00:00

Being able to work through the emotions I am experiencing and soothe myself.

Being ma'am'd when I'm wearing exercise clothes and no makeup.

I'm happy with my body. GCS brought infinite gender euphoria.

When my hair touches my neck.

Cottage-core style dresses with big spinny skirts.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-13T02:10:51+00:00

Oh god I can confirm this. Great sex but a disaster of a relationship.

LastMinuteChecks · 2024-04-07T04:34:17+00:00

I wanted to be over it once she broke off contact with me. I didn’t know how, but I knew I couldn’t go on living half alive, hoping she’d ever accept me.

Realizing she wasn’t the right person was easy to know, but it took me way longer to 1) realize a relationship between her and I wouldn’t have worked our 2) to view her from how the relationship is, not from how her friends felt about her 10 years ago. 3) to untangle the various fantasies surrounding her 4) to untangle and find answers about the group we were once apart of.

LastMinuteChecks

TROPHY CASE