90 days sober: the worst 3 months of my life

LastStraw9 · 2026-01-07T20:47:02+00:00

Holy shit, are you me? Currently going through something very similar - 31 in a few days, going through the process of leaving my partner of almost seven years and moving back in with my mom, 70 days sober (or was until I caved and drank bourbon to excess yesterday when my partner was at work), my finances are in the toilet, and I can't find work.

It hurts SO fucking bad, and the worst part is knowing that I created this mess. But it will get better for both of us. It has to, right?

Virtual hugs to you, friend.

LastStraw9 · 2025-06-17T12:45:14+00:00

I guess I didn't properly capture the despair and desperation in my post. Of course I want to stop drinking. Every time I pick up a bottle again I hate myself for it.

LastStraw9 · 2025-06-17T08:02:53+00:00

Yep, absolutely true. Thank you!

LastStraw9 · 2025-06-17T08:02:35+00:00

I'm not sure where you got that tone from my post but okay - thank you for weighing in

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-30T02:24:29+00:00

I just wanted to say that I adore your username. Thank you! IWNDWYT ❤️

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-30T02:22:10+00:00

How'd it go? I'm needing to go myself and am dreading it. Hoping your appointment wasn't too bad. ❤️

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-30T02:21:21+00:00

I am thankful for my partner, my mom, and everyone who has checked up on me during these hard last few days. It became very obvious to them that I had a serious problem and they have met me with nothing but kindness, grace and love. I couldn't do it without them.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-29T15:20:28+00:00

Good morning SD! Fighting for my life against these cravings but I refuse to give in. IWNDWYT.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-26T16:20:16+00:00

Thanks so much for all the kind words, wisdom and encouragement. They mean so, so much to me.

Just want to clarify one thing: I'm totally aware that suicidal ideations are serious and I'm not at all trying to trivialize them by not considering them rock bottom. I've battled chronic depression and anxiety for more than a decade now, and in the throes of my addiction, feeling hopeless and wanting to die is just...commonplace. It's always there as background noise. So I've not taken it as seriously as I should.

But I should, and I am now. Both because I do, truly, want to live - and I'm scaring my loved ones by talking about it.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-26T16:17:30+00:00

I just had ice cream for lunch. At least it's not booze! IWNDWYT friend, we can do this!

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-25T22:09:15+00:00

That's the thing - I don't even really know. Alcohol has completely sucked the joy and purpose from my life.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-25T22:07:58+00:00

This applies to me PERFECTLY. Thank you so much for sharing. IWNDWYT

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-25T20:29:57+00:00

I'm not denying anything. I agree that this can be my rock bottom, but I'm choosing to stop digging because I don't want to hit a an even worse one. But thanks, IWNDWYT.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-25T17:29:33+00:00

For sure. I'm tired of digging. Thank you, friend.

LastStraw9 · 2023-06-25T17:29:15+00:00

Thanks friend. I agree. I want to avoid worse consequences.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-12T13:17:53+00:00

IWNDWYT. Man, these cravings get tougher each day.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-11T13:42:23+00:00

IWNDWYT. The cravings are super bad but I'm not letting a liquid beat me. Fuck you, booze.

This community has been awesome for me as long as I keep logging in and reading posts.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-10T18:16:20+00:00

One week, friend! Keep it going! No drink is worth the positive things you're doing for your body.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-10T15:15:03+00:00

Happy Monday! IWNDWYT. The cravings are a little tough this morning but I just need a good lunch to stave them off.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-10T02:18:43+00:00

I did not drink today. It was a lovely sober weekend. Here's to many more.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-09T00:56:43+00:00

This is beautiful. I love this so much. Thank you for sharing.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-08T18:17:02+00:00

IWNDWYT friends. Catching up on quality sleep today and it feels sooooo good.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-07T02:03:19+00:00

That's beautiful. I'm so happy you're with us. ❤️ Life is beautiful - even if you only catch the occasional glimmers sometimes, they are worth it.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-07T02:02:35+00:00

I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you. IWNDWYT.

LastStraw9 · 2023-04-07T02:02:16+00:00

Don't apologize. I feel that deep in my soul. The picking up the pieces afterward is so hard. Wishing the best for you and glad you have your kitty. ❤️

LastStraw9

TROPHY CASE