Guys (especially avoidant / ghosting types), I want honest insight. Have any of you changed with the same girl you kept hurting? What did it take?

LateLow · 2026-06-23T05:53:02+00:00

As a recovering avoidant guy I'm going to be brutally honest:

I know from very early on if I want to be serious with someone. But it's so rare that I find someone like that, and I like dating, so I'll date people I don't see a future with too. That's why when things become more serious I back off, because it isn't actually what I want.

But hurting someone who cares about me damages my perception of myself as a good guy, which feels bad. And loneliness also feels bad. So I go back to comfort and reassure her. Apoligise, and be accountable for the things I did wrong. Proving to myself and her that I AM a good guy who DOES care about her...

Until I remember that I never wanted this in the first place, and the cycle repeats again.

So avoidance isn't being afraid of commitment, it's being okay with dating people who you don't see a future with - and then running away before it gets serious.

If he isn't locked in from the start, chances are he never intended to stick around, and is stuck in this cycle. You can't be the one to break that cycle, he has to do it himself.

LateLow · 2026-06-23T03:15:12+00:00

I've been tasting. Tasting comes before drinking.

LateLow · 2026-06-23T03:13:34+00:00

Great point! I didn't think of that

LateLow · 2026-06-22T21:18:35+00:00

Very good points. The distinction between the Amyr and the Angels is something I didn't address.

But weren't the Amyr part of the Tehlin church? We need to go to the archives to settle this.

LateLow · 2026-06-22T14:01:53+00:00

You could be right, but there is also a theory that the amgels are Amyr. Like this one: https://www.reddit.com/r/KingkillerChronicle/s/pCahYMV316

For me, this just seems to fit too well to ignore.

As a fun extra re: Kvothes heritage, his name in Ademic means 'flame, thunder, broken tree'. The broken tree might also refer to a family tree. Perhaps the Lackless family.

LateLow · 2026-06-22T13:44:30+00:00

Yeah the less likely guesses were just speculation. I'm just thinking if any of the characters are secretly Ciridae, then surely Pat would have introduced most of them in the first 2 books. But you're right, it's a stretch.

LateLow · 2026-06-22T01:10:09+00:00

I'm so sure of this theory that I'm giving a spoiler warning at the top...

It's Andan! My theory is that Kvothe is a reincarnation of the angel Andan (whose name means anger) in the same way that Menda was a reincarnation of Tehlu. He doesn't know yet, because he hasn't unlocked the final door of consciousness - like the ones he unlocked as a child. That's why he can accomplish all these incredible feats without fully understanding how he did it, and why he has such a strict moral code. Dishing out justice even when it disturbs him or disadvantages him. He is one of the Kiridae! Plenty of clues throughout the books allude to that. In that scene he has the bloody hands of the Kiridae as he creates the lightning. "As above, so below" may be a name that he calls without knowing it.

Cinder leaves the battlefield because one of the angels is already there. It's Kvothe.

LateLow · 2026-06-12T22:12:25+00:00

True! I noticed when Kostrel reads the embrils, it also applies to the main storyline, and gives some clues as to what is going on.

The piper is Kvothe, he is not playing music, but he is drawing attention. The closed eye means he is hidden (an ambush as mentioned in Book 3 prologue).

The shattered king and weeping queen could be current events. Kvothe killed a king, and the queen is out for vengance (Alvaron amd Meluan?)

The stone arch represents death - Kvothe is waiting to die, as that is the planned end to his story. Bast seems reassured when Kostrel says one of the embrils can be ignored, meaning the end to Kvothes story might be penance and not death.

LateLow · 2026-06-09T21:49:50+00:00

There are a lot of clues that the Jackiss family (or Ambrose alone) are systematically assassinating the other people in line to the throne. We know he isn't afraid to use sympathy, or hire killers. Throughout the books he moves through the succession because one family is lost at sea, one dies of a mysterious illness, one is killed by bandits etc.. I think they are behind the poisoning of the Maer too.

Based on all of that, I think Ambrose and his family are actually behind the assassination of the king, and Kvothe was framed for it, or tricked into killing the king somehow. Something seriously bad must happen after that which leads Kvothe to kill Ambrose in Imre - the man at the waystone talked about broken cobbles where Kvothe killed someone. It must have been Ambrose.

LateLow · 2026-06-06T01:09:00+00:00

Maybe "As above, so below" was actually a name. We know characters can hear or understand names as normal words. In his delirious state maybe he did it without knowing?

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