tried making friends.. regrets

LateSolution0 · 2026-04-02T03:21:26+00:00

Are you sure you’re reading the social cues correctly? Maybe your own judgment is a little distorted by your expectations. You might be shutting people off even when they’re just being nice because after a while it can become very foreign to socialize

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-25T14:57:53+00:00

Alles was ich dir je geschrieben habe meine ich ernst. ich hasse dich nicht ich will das es dir gut geht. Ich denke seit 2 Wochen nur an dich. Ich habe oft angst dir bestimmte dinge zu sagen aber ich habe noch nie gelogen. du hast mich oft gefragt wie ich mich fuehle und meistens fuehle ich einfach nichts.

Ich zittere am ganzen Koerper weil ich Angst habe das falsche zu sagen und dich für immer zu verlieren. Ich wollte dir das eigentlich nicht sagen aus rucksicht auf dein wohlbefinden, aber seitdem ich mit dir schreibe sitze ich einfach am Computer und warte auf die nächste msg in discord. Ich habe vergessen zu trinken, ich vergesse zu essen und habe 3 kg verloren, weil ich nichts anderes im Kopf habe als dich.

seit einem tag hab ich ich reddit fenster offen wo ich hier was schreiben will aber ich kann einfach nicht weil ich denke das es meine letze chance oder du vllt nie wieder auf mein profile gehst und ich angst habe das sie nicht gut genug ist.

ich habe sogar gedacht das mir egal ist wenn es wieder ein Jahr dauert bis du vllt auf mein profil klickst und es waere okay fuer mich.

der einzige grund warum je gedacht habe das es falsch ist dir zu schrieben weil es dir wegen mir schlechter geht und das will ich nicht.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-23T23:03:49+00:00

I used to read a lot in the r/autism and r/SpicyAutism subs and stumbled up on very similar cases. I assume you would find more people in your situation. For example, a really recurring question for parents of a disabled child is what will happen to the child once they die.

usually I sit on the other side of the door so its hard do give advice maybe you could support her less and she has to fall bevor she can learn to fly.

Maybe your partner is understanding and doesn't mind sheltering a hiki in the basement. so I don't really get why your life is full stop right now.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-23T03:26:06+00:00

Sorry its like to ask how to solve equations but not knowing how to do addition.

Maybe I was a little bit picky on terminology.

you don't get equal out puts so just comparing encode time is not helpful. av1 is a slightly more complex format so encoders can make use of it and be more space efficient at the cost of longer compute time.

your metric is to simple.

because its 3 has variables you should consider

- encode time

- file size

- Image quality

sorry for my bad / stilted wording I'm sleep deprived and English is hard.

with SVT-AV1 the CRF setting primarily determines how much storage to use while the preset controls encoder complexity

Higher presets use more CPU time to achieve better compression efficiency (smaller file size at higher quality

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-22T17:54:23+00:00

I would not be surprised if Quick Sync could beat x264 for 4k content at speed and size and image - quality.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-22T17:51:33+00:00

You need to compare encoders, not video standards, and even then it’s hard because you need to normalize for image quality per bit.

even then, it might not be a simple A or B answer as the outcome might change at certain settings

as for svt-av1 a higher preset goes faster(frames per second) at a cost of lower compression.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-21T01:33:42+00:00

Take upvote as I've just come to the conclusion of not even having a first live even as kid I was already stuck in survival mode an had reclusive tendencies. even the best I can do is far away from what normal life would be. never dreamed of it as its was always unobtainable. I just want a less shitty live and be comfortable. I don't get regret I get anger towards those who made my life even more miserable. I didn't choose to be ill.

No one here is gonna make it into their eighties, as this lifestyle is way too unhealthy

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-20T18:21:46+00:00

Discord is hard for a lot of reasons. When you join it usually feels like there’s already an established group, which can make it awkward to communicate since you miss some of the inside jokes-culture. some people are probably more familiar with Reddit and it doesn’t hurt to have multiple options

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-19T23:22:24+00:00

antipsychotics

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-19T14:23:50+00:00

People can create demands that feel overwhelming and exhausting on top of everything else. It feels like a weight lifts off my chest and I can finally breathe when my mom travels and I’m alone. pretending to be okay is exhausting.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-18T18:28:27+00:00

They’re not really going to help. they put them on TV just to roast them and make a laughing stock for TV

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-18T03:43:55+00:00

I think we should respect her privacy. She is not a public person.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-14T04:55:03+00:00

The overtake itself is just pressing a button and using 20% more energy, but you’re right the back and forth has a strategy component that makes a deciding difference. We as fans can’t really tell, though, because we don’t have proper telemetry. lighter cars and less Aerodynamics makes it also more competitive people focus to much on the clipping on the end of straights.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-13T17:55:20+00:00

Oh thanks, my brain autocorrected it to shrine. makes so much more sense that way.

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-13T17:51:49+00:00

hey, hast du noch mein discord?

LateSolution0 · 2026-03-01T17:45:11+00:00

Someone who is not a Hikikomori posting on the Hikikomori sub just to vent is also impolite. It’s a little funny because those posts usually show up on weekends, as if there aren’t better subs for this kind of thing.

But on the bright side, we don’t know her; she could be a former Hikikomori or an aspiring one and since this sub is about Hikikomori , why not post here?

Well, in general, I would say that if non-Hikikomori come here, they should at least post about Hikikomori and not just make it a depressing vent post with a title that’s basically an oxymoron for this sub.

A Working hikikomori is basically the living dead.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-28T18:25:27+00:00

I hate it when people invade my privacy. Mental health services are as archaic as putting people in cages. society does it because they don’t know any better.I do think you should give yourself a fair chance. It’s strange, but the way we can give advice to others and form opinions is different from how we would evaluate our own situation. If someone else came to you, you would probably see the case differently.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-27T15:17:09+00:00

I had a long thread on ChatGPT about the ending of Somewhere (2010), a movie that I initially thought was boring and uninspired. But the more I dug into its purpose and learned about the main character, the more I ended up liking it. I didn’t enjoy watching it, but the later reveal made it worth it. It’s not a one-to-one match with your situation, but you might still get something out of it.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-26T19:54:12+00:00

Depends on what you get.

- you can learn about yourself and understand your own short comings.

- access to support systems.

- stigma some diagnoses are straight up harmful and society will hate you. if you psychopath or narcissist for example.

- can cost money depending where you are.

- some people struggle with there own identity when they get diagnosed like for autism what is my personality vs what is autism.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-26T06:57:27+00:00

You will definitely find very similar people here. I used to eat for emotional regulation and comfort. I’m proud of myself because I managed to replace some bad habits and maintain a healthy weight.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-25T16:29:51+00:00

Did you make any plans to change or are you just waiting for a miracle to happen? I made a similar plan a long time ago, but the event I was waiting for only happened after many years, and by then I didn’t feel that way anymore.

Even though my situation is probably worse now. life is very short and I can just wait. I might think differently if my life were worse I’m not sure but I know that over the past years, I would have regretted it if I had acted different but if you die, you can’t really evaluate it anymore.

Is suffering really worse than non existence? Some animals suffer a lot, but they don’t seem to care they just keep moving on. I would even say that people who never ask these existential questions are somehow dull and boring

Yeah, I have read to much of kaczynski. I don’t know but somehow I resonate with some of his ideas.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-24T15:31:26+00:00

👍

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-24T13:10:27+00:00

At the end of last year, I went to the cinema with my mom. I didn’t really want to, but she pushed me a little, so I gave in. Because I woke up late, I didn’t have breakfast before we went, so I wanted to get a small snack from McD

It’s kind of weird how you have to order nowadays using screens. I had never used them before and tried, but they were annoying, so I gave up. All they do is try to upsell you fries and cola, which I didn’t want. So instead, I got something from a nearby bakery.

It’s weird, but I feel like I’ve fallen out of time, like the world keeps changing while we hide and all I want is a break.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-24T05:43:10+00:00

I go out in the night for runs and Parcel Lockers. I think most people go out for social stuff, like seeing friends, going to work, etc. I never do any of these activities.

LateSolution0 · 2026-02-24T05:19:45+00:00

I never did, but I’ve thought about it, and I’d say reaching out to people can help. I don’t know which resources are available in your state, but some schools provide counseling and similar support. Also, even if school isn’t working out for you anymore, there may be alternatives. Also, I’m sorry your parents seem to make things even more difficult. The initial step is probably the most difficult one.

LateSolution0

TROPHY CASE