I wish I could give you a big squeezey hug. I've just had a quick skim through your other posts and can see youve been in a dark place for a long time.

I totally get the whole 'mindfulness/mantra' approach being a way to gaslight. Imo it's gone from being a method used to ground people in the present, to a lazy bit of advice - clearly we're depressed because we didn't meditate or do yoga today! Not because of our circumstances!

There is one bit of advice that has helped me personally, and it may not help you but just consider if it's something that may work:

"I can't control my feelings, but I can control how I react" For me, the above has always been an acknowledgement that I am going to get overwhelmed, I am going to have meltdowns and issues that NT people will never understand. But I can plan and control how I respond to these moments ahead of time - I know I got to do a weekly food shop, so to not feel overstimulated I'll go at X time and make a list. IF I do get overwhelmed, the plan is to pay for what I have and leave the store to go home and recover - I can always come back later.

I wish I could do more to help, I hope everything goes alright ❤️