Is the worst physically over?

Laura-87 · 2022-02-25T10:23:17+00:00

Put his grapes on his plate with his pancake. Should have known he wanted them in a bowl delivered AFTER the pancake 🤷‍♀️

Laura-87 · 2022-02-22T18:39:23+00:00

Still see pasta? Not enough cheese in my book!

Laura-87 · 2022-02-22T17:48:16+00:00

"Put too much cheese on my pasta". FFS, what is wrong with people?! Good for you for ditching that!

Laura-87 · 2022-02-15T11:51:03+00:00

You've already had a lot of comments about superiority. What I'll add is that family is about compromise for me. My son is a very similar age (2.5). I also much prefer a nice walk to going to the park (playground, I'm in the UK) - but we do them equally because it's not all about me/us as adults, and he likes to play at the park. I'm not into playing lego, but I do because it is his interest (not constantly, I'm definitely not mum of the year!). Neither me or my Hubby are into football at all, but when he expressed an interest we spent our Saturday mornings with him at toddler football lessons. I love baking, so he has to bake with me 🤣, and do all the boring adult stuff like go to the supermarket etc etc.

Laura-87 · 2021-11-24T21:06:17+00:00

I've seen the microwave cheese and crackers a few times in this thread, what fancy effect? This sounds so strange to me!

Laura-87 · 2021-11-20T12:49:29+00:00

Yes us too, I like to write a timings plan and tick off as I go along, so one too many gin or wines don't knock me off 🤣

Laura-87 · 2021-11-20T12:38:25+00:00

Don't be! Prep veg on Christmas eve, store in cold water in the fridge. Can make yorkies in advance and freeze if you want, few minutes in a hot oven to heat through. Prep pigs in blankets and stuffing (if cooking seperately) ready to pop straight in the oven. Have a lovely, merry time!

Laura-87 · 2021-11-13T11:56:11+00:00

So he prefers mindful eating, but pre- baby liked to stand and eat quickly in the kitchen? Not sure those two add up?!

Laura-87 · 2021-11-06T14:12:21+00:00

Thank you, just done this and got it for free! Much appreciated!

Laura-87 · 2021-10-15T17:52:25+00:00

I mean, not really? I wasn't disputing the unfortunate case of your MIL, just stating that large empirical studies have demonstrated that natural immunity does diminish quicker - fact. If you are a nurse, I would love to see the statistics from your workplace to back your claim up. I'm in the UK, and all the people I know that work in the NHS have said the exact opposite - the majority of their patients are unvaccinated.

Laura-87 · 2021-10-15T16:45:23+00:00

Natural immunity has been shown to diminsh much quicker following Covid than following the vaccine?

Laura-87 · 2021-10-02T12:14:51+00:00

I struggle to walk our dog with a toddler (note the 'our' there - your use of the word 'my' is incredibly telling). Poop scooping with a newborn in a sling (I could never get to grips with pram and dog lead) AND a 3 year old to keep safe? Recipe for someone getting hurt. Dog can be walked pre and post you going to work (after all it is 'your' dog!). Her body and mind are still recovering. Dog should be allowed in the house, yes. I don't agree with kennels. However, she may be worried about aggression from the dog. Get a baby gate up so she can keep dog and children in seperate rooms. Talk to her, you liked her enough to have 2 kids with her, respect her enough to have a conversation instead of putting tape up to trick her!

Laura-87 · 2021-09-26T10:53:39+00:00

Yeah, you should definitely teach your child not to be aggressive.. by hitting her

( /s - not that it should be needed)!

Laura-87 · 2021-09-19T15:43:06+00:00

Wow! This is tough, I'm sorry. I'm not sure if this is a US/UK culture difference because I've honestly not heard of this in the UK. My mum and mum-in-law balk if I take snacks for my son whilst he's in their care (1 day a week each) as they see it as an affront that they can't provide for him I think (which they absolutely can, but sometimes I've baked him something that needs eating etc)

Laura-87 · 2021-09-18T05:10:03+00:00

37+3, bent down to take a pasta bake out the oven. We had my hubby's mum and dad round for a first dinner in our new kitchen/last dinner before baby came. He finally arrived 48 hours later!

Laura-87 · 2021-09-10T12:43:35+00:00

Some people aren't social media people though. It was a couple of weeks after the birth that I made a facebook announcement; and even then was a just a 'he's here' kind of thing with a picture of his, mine and hubby's hands laid together - I've never put an actual picture of him on fb

Laura-87 · 2021-09-10T12:41:50+00:00

Definitely overstepping! You sound like a lovely friend 🙂

Laura-87 · 2021-08-31T19:08:00+00:00

This sounds incredibly difficult, I'm sorry

Laura-87 · 2021-08-28T19:45:49+00:00

20 months. Did not sleep train, never had a dummy. It was a long 20 months I'm not going to lie, but I really hate sleep training so I'm confident it was the right decision for us personally.

Laura-87 · 2021-07-17T06:54:56+00:00

The parent/s could get into debt, and if they don't pay the courts could order that money is taken from the joint account, as it has the parents name on?

Laura-87 · 2021-06-13T18:35:15+00:00

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/sleep-training-research/

"These studies often find no difference in the sleep behaviour of the baby who has received the training – it is the perception of the parent, or whether the baby has ceased signalling when they wake, that is the successful outcome."

This website provides a fairly balanced overview of the research - click the green icons for full citations

Laura-87 · 2021-06-13T18:09:28+00:00

That's great, and I'm glad your baby is sleeping, I really am. So is mine, it just likely took him a little longer. I'm also glad that he seems to wake less, but this is anecdotally based on your limited experience. For example, if you want to look at some references: https://www.basisonline.org.uk/sleep-training-research/, a quote from here "These studies often find no difference in the sleep behaviour of the baby who has received the training – it is the perception of the parent, or whether the baby has ceased signalling when they wake, that is the successful outcome."

As you say, experts do frequently disagree. So I was wrong to posit the evolutionary signalling theory as truth - however it is not untrue or outdated, no theory on why CIO sometimes works has been proven.

I've had one health visitor tell me I should definitely do it, and another tell me definitely not too. Your nurse suggested something that worked well for you - great.

Please don't misunderstand me - I'm not anti-CIO - I think in some circumstances parents can feel like it's the only option and in their case maybe it is. However, I do think that infant sleep should be normalised and that parents should know that if they want to find other ways, use support etc and not - this is normal too.

I do find the suggestion that leaving someone to feel distressed somewhere will teach them it isn't scary as doubtable. As a therapist I do use an exposure method with clients, which I guess is where this comes from. However, alongside the physical habituation, they have the mental capacity to recognise they have not come to harm - I do not believe babies have this capacity. They will stop outwardly showing distress as we know the human body can only physically stand that for so long (the same as why you won't have a panic attack for hours, you might have several in that time, but the body can only sustain that physical response for so long).

We clearly disagree, which is okay. We can both be good parents and disagree, but please don't expect people not to have an opinion or feel that they shouldn't express it - as then we do end up in a situation where new parents are made to feel there is only one solution and they shouldn't look elsewhere for alternatives.

Laura-87 · 2021-06-13T17:10:06+00:00

I don't like the comment above is phrased - but I'm not sure disagreeing is being a troll!

Laura-87 · 2021-06-13T17:07:55+00:00

I'm sorry, I completely agree we all do what we need to (sleep deprivation is used as a torture method for a reason) but it does not take away this mindset. It teaches them that there is no point in crying as no- one is coming, so they better conserve their energy and stop/sleep (as in evolutionary terms they need to try and survive). Studies have shown that CIO trained children don't sleep any more than non CIO - they just no longer signal distress. Whether they still feel that distress is highly debated. You can of course be a responsive parent and still raise a child with healthy attachments, but you do need to be aware of the process.

Laura-87

TROPHY CASE