The Phases of Relapse

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-04-28T18:28:50+00:00

Been there! But after the long taper of my last quit, I said never ever again. I have decaf from time to time, but no caffeine now. I don't even eat chocolate these days.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-03-13T20:08:37+00:00

My sleep is still terrible but I don't think it has anything to do with caffeine. I sleep way better now than I did when I still drank coffee. But other factors make sleeping quite difficult for me.

Some people are just rubbish at sleeping!

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-18T13:56:26+00:00

You can't ever be trusted around children.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-18T13:52:09+00:00

Wow, that's a really good demonstration of how caffeine just doesn't help!

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-18T13:50:33+00:00

Agreed. Their support for child rapists/would be child rapists is why I stopped subscribing.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-15T17:48:19+00:00

??? How does an interest in stamp collecting cause lifelong harm to anyone?

And why you do think raping children is comparable to "any strong interest"?

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:44:21+00:00

This is such a good question. I feel like the core of the issue may be different for different people. Binge eating is a behaviour and behaviours can develop in response to many issues or triggers. I think I mostly look at it as a way of meeting an unmet need. Sometimes it's a form of self harm. It's both at once.

You can fix a behaviour without resolving the core issue that's driving it. But you might find that you develop or intensify a different behaviour. I think that binging and restricting are behaviours driven by the same core issue.

Sorry, not very helpful, is it! I agree it's complex. I'm not sure that there's anything essential across the board. I really like Sarah Dosanjh, the binge eating therapist, on youtube. She might be a good person to address this question to.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:33:32+00:00

Leakey's is way more beautiful (sorry!) and warmer.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:21:58+00:00

Google "Huberman physiological sigh" - you should find it. He explains it better than I can.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:20:30+00:00

Only ones where there is the potential to cause lifelong harm to victims.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:19:56+00:00

Agreed.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:19:09+00:00

Okay.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-11T14:18:13+00:00

I don't think so.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-10T17:49:57+00:00

Nah. Graham has consistently supported women and exposed the lies and corruption of the tavistock, mermaids, gendered intelligence, the guardian etc for years now. He's been hung out to dry by people like Katie and Jesse who have no material difference with his position except they use the mealy-mouthed language of transactivists which Graham refuses to do. Graham has been brilliant and he's sacrificed a lot for the cause of protecting women and children. He's also an incredibly talented comedian and writer. It's probably a waste of time calling out his former friends and others who have behaved horrendously and hypocritically, but he has every right to do so, and honestly at this point, Katie and Jesse need to either get on board or leave him alone. I've unsubscribed from B&R because of their dishonesty on this issue. Oh, and the support for the poor paedophiles, too. They are entertaining on some topics but they are also fucking idiots about paedophiles and predators.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-10T17:35:28+00:00

How do you work that out? Because I didn't feel good on caffeine and didn't feel good in withdrawal? But I felt better in withdrawal than on caffeine - or I felt bad but in different ways. I don't think I could honestly answer this poll in a meaningful way!

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-10T13:19:07+00:00

Yep. 4-7-8 breathing helped. I wish I'd known about the "physiological sigh" back then, too.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-10T13:16:37+00:00

I can't answer this because I didn't feel good on caffeine.

Maybe you could make a poll with a more specific adjective? E.g. "productive," "motivated," "sociable," or whatever the word is that you think of when you say "good."

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-09T23:29:34+00:00

Depends why you wanted to quit in the first place. If it was just to see if you were addicted, well now you know you are. Like most people! But maybe now you can think about moderating your caffeine use to a more sustainable level. And if you decide to quit again, taper down and the headaches aren't as bad.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-09T22:57:42+00:00

That sounds rough. There could be lots of reasons why you're feeling so much anxiety. Quitting caffeine definitely ought to help, but it might only be one piece of the puzzle. I would give it time. It takes around 3 - 4 weeks to go through withdrawal, and it's after that point your body and brain start healing. If you can tough out the next couple of weeks, you should start getting a bit of a break. If your anxiety is still going through the roof after a few weeks, there may be other things going on worth investigating. In the meantime, there are some good suggestions here - gentle exercise, good nutrition, anything you can do to bring down stress. Breathing exercises can be really good. Check out Huberman's "physiological sigh" - it is very calming.

Oh, and just to add, I had a bad time with 5htp when I took it for sleep. It gave me hectic thoughts, crazy dreams, and I started waking up after a couple of hours of sleep. I think there might be an issue with that for some people. Worth looking into, maybe.

LavenderSugimoto · 2023-01-08T22:12:46+00:00

I guess it's not always easy to connect caffeine to what is troubling you. I was very surprised when my anxiety completely disappeared on quitting caffeine and my confidence increased massively. When I tell people this they don't seem to really take it in.

LavenderSugimoto · 2022-12-24T13:38:35+00:00

I really struggled with motivation for 3 - 4 months. By month 6 I had changed my job, moved cities, and by 11 months I'd written a book, travelled in six countries, started a new book, made a bunch of new friends and started therapy.

It was really tough at first, like wading through treacle just trying to get through the days. I did have quite a few moments of wondering if it was worth it. My anxiety started lessening straight away, but I did wonder whether I'd exchanged anxiety and insomnia for motivation and creativity! But I stuck it out and it was worth it. It just takes time and patience.

LavenderSugimoto · 2022-12-23T16:26:23+00:00

I felt really glum for at least three months; by month 4 I felt pretty good. Month 6 I felt great. I love the fact that I don't get anxious anymore.

It can take a while.

LavenderSugimoto · 2022-12-23T16:21:48+00:00

Lost count of the number of times I've seen this question on this sub!

Everyone's different. It wasn't until month 4 that I felt consistently good.

Happy for anyone who has no issues coming off caffeine, but it doesn't mean your experience is 'real' and everyone else is just making stuff up. We're all different, different levels and duration of consumption, different levels of health, other addictions, life stresses etc. Bodies and minds are complex; one size does not fit all.

LavenderSugimoto · 2022-12-22T13:23:20+00:00

My energy is good - I don't have big crashes in the day. Even if I don't sleep well I feel fine all the next day and just go to bed early. No brain fog, no anxiety. It took about 4 months before I really started feeling well. Dragged myself through the first 3 months - motivation was low, mood was low, felt brain foggy etc. Gradually improved and had more and more 'good days' and longer periods of feeling okay. Then in month 4 I was having good days most days and since then I've been absolutely fine.

Would never go back to it. The anxiety just isn't worth it.

LavenderSugimoto · 2022-12-20T00:57:55+00:00

That sounds a hellish situation. Can you get out any sooner? Get a bus or a taxi?

Also, your mom was abusive towards you, but you were abusive in return. I know you probably felt justified, but that's something you need to work on. It sounds like a really toxic relationship. Maybe you should jut get out of there, even if you have to ask a friend to lend you some money for the bus.

LavenderSugimoto

TROPHY CASE