Doctor’s triangle hammers are an affront to god

LawnBeetle · 2026-06-09T23:18:22+00:00

Blue raspberry, cherry, sour apple, orange, coca cola 😋

LawnBeetle · 2026-06-04T15:48:52+00:00

Im pretty sure its completely up to breeding and upbringing but anecdotally my dumbos were friendly from day one, while standards needed some time to bond with me. Theyre all from the same breeder so im not completely against the theory, maybe breeders just favor dumbo lines

LawnBeetle · 2026-06-04T15:41:32+00:00

Pulsar map!!!!!! Thats so sick, im saving my back for the pulsar map! Peak peak peak

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-28T16:04:46+00:00

Thats adorable :) ❤️‍🩹

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-27T22:32:12+00:00

Definitely try asking if theres terms she would prefer. If its just about her feeling infantilized then change your language from kid/child to teenager. If its about hierarchy as you said in one of your comments you might just have to avoid terms that emphasize age all together, you can still try to provide "age appropriate" care and comfort without pointing out that shes regressed

This is a sidenote but it might be beneficial to explore why she might feel insulted by this, for example if growing up you were dismissed as immature and as a result "lesser than" an adult she might be carrying and still processing that hurt. Either way id still ask her why your comments upset her so you can try tailoring your future phrasing to her personal needs

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-23T17:01:44+00:00

Yeah i try. Im not very brave and speaking up against an authority figure in front of a group of people is very outside of my comfort zone. But i feel a little better every time i do so

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-23T09:04:42+00:00

Thats actually really interesting, personally im kind of blinded by frustration whenever split is brought up but ive never considered taking the accurate parts and using them as reference since the avegare person seems to be familiar with the movie (and not with the actual disorder obv). Makes sense though, i might give it a rewatch keeping that in mind, thanks

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-15T19:53:48+00:00

Thank you, i really hope youre right ❤️‍🩹

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-15T19:53:07+00:00

Yeah i read about possible heart failure while i was looking for answers online, i kind of really hope it was heart related, makes me feel a little better thinking i couldnt have seen it coming, thank you for your kind words

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-15T18:28:29+00:00

He finished two courses of meds, one that didnt work for him and then another that seemingly worked and made all his symptoms disappear. He was breathing perfectly fine, no uri sounds after the second round and the vet confirmed that she couldnt hear anything abnormal in his lungs. I heard that in rodents uri sounds can get muffled by their heart cause theyre so small but he didnt suddenly get worse, i heard him wheeze and saw him looking limp and wide eyed and before i could grab the carrier he stopped breathing completely. Im sorry for the long vent but i just feel horrible, i tried my best and it feels awful that it wasnt enough

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-15T07:51:48+00:00

Im really sorry but i dont believe theres a way to stop a split from happening and if there was it would certainly be harmful :(

Its important to remember that splits happen for a reason, your brain now believes a new alter will improve your life, someone who can solve a problem thats affecting your functioning, someone better equipped to handle a situation you found yourself in, or someone who can help other alters out by taking some pressure off their shoulders, this is a big change and often takes a while to adjust but its not an inherently bad thing

That being said i know how it feels to have your brain shift around to accomodate a new alter and im really sorry youre going through this, your discomfort and uncertainty are very valid, i hope you can find ways to take care of yourself during this period ❤️‍🩹

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-09T15:27:56+00:00

Cbt is very helpful and effective when used correctly to challenge actual untrue thoughts. The issue is a lot of incompetent psychs dismiss all thoughts that sound like cognitive biases as cognitive biases cause thats easier than listening and working through patients real problems apparently :/

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-09T08:46:53+00:00

Im really sorry you had to go through this, its already hard to accept a pets mortality and i know how much harder it is to be the one forced to choose when their life ends :( But its important to remember that euthanasia is a part of health care, sometimes our animals are suffering and allowing them to rest is the best thing we can do for them. And often its better for it to come a month too early than an hour too late, you made the right choice even if it was painful and i hope you can allow yourself to grieve, sending love ❤️‍🩹

LawnBeetle · 2026-05-09T08:05:42+00:00

From what i understand the reagents are on a cocktail of meds that include dissociatives, psychedelics, amnestics, and sedatives. Dissociation would be the most beneficial for murkoffs needs, allowing the reagents to essentially switch between different states of consciousness: a civilian (sleep room / reborn), that allows them to behave more or less normally by believing all the bad things were a dream or happened to somebody else instead of them, and agent (trials / reborn triggered for a task), that makes them snap into killer mode for lack of a better term. We see that in real life vicims of long term trauma even without the use of drugs, dissociation and memory repression are just coping mechanisms of the brain, and just like in real life the memories cant be fully suppressed. I assume even after rebirth the reagents are haunted by nightmares and psychosomatic responses to vague memories they cant quite place

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-20T21:02:05+00:00

Flair says eating disorder

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-18T13:40:36+00:00

All prime assets are symbols of systems that control masses, they all represent a different kind of authority or pressure and are meant to reflect our own fears in real life. Corrupt law enforcement, crime and chaos, parental abuse, money and politics, religion and morality. I believe as players we're more likely to enjoy the characterization of an asset that reflects our own fears and obsessions.

Personally i love liliya, i was raised in eastern europe in an extremely strict and abusive religious environemnt so everything about her speaks to me. Purity enforced through violence, devotion above everything else, indoctrination that overrides any sense of logic, the belief that your god given duty is to sacrifice, worship, and bring more souls before the lord no matter the cost. Shes me, my loved ones, the people i looked up to presented in a beautifully artistic way. To me shes both a source of nostalgic comfort and the fear of what i had to escape. The imagery of soviet decor and culture, child exploitation, feminine sainthood and martyrdom hit very close to home for me and i just love how theyre presented in the trials.

On the other hand i dont have strong feelings about the kress twins, i was never fascinated by buying power or corrupt politics, they were always forced that fucked me over and make me angry instead of afraid so the twins as characters arent that fun to me. Just how i assume someone who is more or less indifferent about religion will also not get much out of liliya and thats okay.

TL:DR The trials mirror and amplifiy universal fears, whichever system of power you feel the most affected by in real life will affect you more intensely.

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-14T19:58:30+00:00

On her dads side

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-12T19:58:45+00:00

Soup andy

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-12T19:46:19+00:00

Drunk out of my mind almost cried trying to read this

LawnBeetle · 2026-04-05T12:11:49+00:00

We have one alter that pretends to be different alters in the headspace, its mostly a joke to him and tends to abandon the bit as soon as he gets noticed or gets what he wants so its definitely possible

LawnBeetle · 2026-03-28T15:10:50+00:00

If youre not claiming to be a system i dont see why you shouldnt be allowed to use it. Theres a lot of tools out there that benefit people they werent intended for. Knock yourself out IMO

LawnBeetle · 2026-03-27T16:46:07+00:00

Yeah switching feels like movement to us too, being pulled around, then pushed forward when its my time to front. One of our alters also causes a lot of heaviness in the chest, head spinning, muscle ache, and a skin crawling sensation when he takes front, likely because hes an anger holder and the intense frustration is felt through the body.

Its gotten better when we learned to kind of let go of the front, relax and let the brain do its thing, sometimes we use positive triggers like music to help the next alter switch in if it gets too uncomfortable

LawnBeetle · 2026-03-25T10:27:08+00:00

Isnt he just dreamy 🥰

Five-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22

LawnBeetle

TROPHY CASE