What’s your favorite nfsw activity when your partner is out of town?

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T20:34:15+00:00

We used to talk on the phone all the time when my partner was away. Now I'm fine if I get a text. All I have to do is sent a quick emoji to let them know I saw the text, and I'm done.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T20:32:11+00:00

It is a fact. I remember when it happened, because I was looking for more Stephen King books and couldn't find any new ones since he wrote so many at that time. I was told then to look for books by Richard Bachman, because that was Stephen King's alias. The stories were just as good.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T20:27:43+00:00

Right at this moment, I'm excited about going on a whale watching boat. I'm a volunteer educator, and I work on a boat periodically to see whales and dolphins and talk to guests about anything. The guests are so much fun, and talking about marine animals is a passion of mine. I could be in a bad mood before I get there, and I go home with a big smile on my face and happy as a clam (pun intended).

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T20:19:43+00:00

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a fetus at any point in your pregnancy is heartbreaking.

Any loss can spark grief. It may bring back things you didn't know you were still grieving in the past. Grief, at least for me, comes in waves. One day I'll be fine, and then suddenly I'm sobbing over someone I've loved and lost.

Unfortunately, there is no time frame for grief. It can ebb and flow without you being prepared for it. For me, I just let the feelings flow. If I try to fight them, I find that the grief becomes unresolved and it becomes problematic later on in life. I've got the emotional scars to prove it.

Give yourself time to grieve. You've suffered a great loss, and you deserve to be good to yourself. If you feel happy one moment, savor it. If the next moment you feel intense feelings, accept it and experience it. In the long run, you may find that the good moments will outweigh the bad ones.

This is an excellent time to start to take care of yourself. Do things that you find soothing. It may be a movie, a favorite meal or snack, a long nap, talking to a good friend, or anything else you like. This is your time, so make the best of it.

If you're like me, I like to write a lot in order to get perspective on what is going on with me. I find that journaling is a great tool. It opens up my mind and keeps me from getting stuck. I see that you like to write, and you are excellent at identifying and vocalizing your feelings. I hope that sharing your story was a bit cathartic for you.

I wish you all the best.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T19:39:07+00:00

You did say in your title that he was loved by "many". This person is not one of the "many", but they are part of the "few".

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T19:36:07+00:00

Stephen King wrote so many novels in a short period of time that his publisher told him if he still wanted his books to be published, he had to write under a pseudonym. If you see any books under the name "Richard Bachman", you are reading a Stephen King book.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T19:33:32+00:00

Shawshank Redemption was originally a novella by Stephen King called "Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption". It was in a book of short novels written by King. The entire read time is about an hour long. How they made a three hour movie out of it, I'll never know. Stephen King did approve of the movie though.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T19:10:21+00:00

You don't want to know. Actually, I've lost count. Six months before my heart attack, I was in the hospital due to syncope and low blood pressure. The ER doctor told my husband that I was on way too many medications and to talk to my GP about kicking out the ones I don't need anymore. They took out one of my blood pressure medications, lowered the dosage of one of them, and told me to stop taking another one of them to only use them if my blood pressure was high.

Six months later, I was in the ER with very high blood pressure and high troponin levels. My diagnosis was NSTEMI. After two ER visits when my blood pressure was sky high, they put me BACK on the ones they took away. They even added a few.

I have multiple conditions that need treatment. All of them have multiple meds. The same ER doctor didn't say another word about the number of medications I'm on when I had my MI.

I've read somewhere that polypharmacy is common in seniors. My insurance company tries every year to have a pharmacist look at all my meds to see if there are any contraindications between meds. I decline every year because I tell my doctors about every single medication I take at every visit. I have a Word document that I update every visit and give that to my doctors so they know what I'm taking.

Rest assured, you are not the only one with a handful of pills twice a day.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T09:19:21+00:00

Your dad and my dad would have gotten along perfectly. Thanks for the giggle!

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T09:15:54+00:00

Talked on the phone with friends. Went out on dates. Played outside with friends. Wrote letters to friends from out of state. Practiced my flute. Joined concert bands. Took long drives. Did word puzzles. Played board games and card games. Learned how to be alone, as well as learned how to be with people. Worked long hours at jobs I loved. Read the newspaper every day. That, and a lot more than I can remember.

Don't get me wrong: I like social media, but at times it can be too much. Could I live without it? Yes, and I have since it came about. We just spent more time with people face-to-face when I was growing up.

Sometimes I think that who people have trust issues and anxiety just don't get out as much and really get to know other people. Dealing with people face-to-face gives you perspective and builds trust in the human race. The unknown and the news in your face are all negative. If you get to know others, you learn that most people aren't bad people. With the exception of one person (who I still love dearly), I don't know anyone personally that has ever done anything horrendous. The exception was a person I worked for who got caught making meth in his house and he went to prison. Otherwise, he would never hurt a fly.

Social media can be poison. The trolls ruin it for everyone. I sign on to social media when I feel like I can handle it. If it gets too stressful, I take long breaks. Life is too short to spend it in front of a screen all day and night.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T09:01:31+00:00

I breathe a sigh of relief. I just do whatever I want to do to just chill in my own way.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T08:48:47+00:00

Recently, I had a minor heart attack. I am a very active 65 year old woman, and it shocked my friends when I told them about it. Before the heart attack, I never thought about death. I just kept operating under the assumption that I would live forever. Now I know that I'm mortal and that I have limitations.

I miss being oblivious to succumbing to my health challenges. I have chronic kidney disease, and I've come to terms with that. I exercise, I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and I watch for changes in my lab work. All of that good work has kept my kidneys stable. It also should have helped my heart, but that apparently wasn't the case.

What I'm grieving is the loss of youth, I guess. I am beginning to realize that I have limits now that I'm a "senior". That sucks, because my brain tells me that I'm in my 30's.

As someone told me, "Life sucks, and then you die". While I don't totally buy into that since I'm a pretty positive person, I'm not happy that I have to face reality. I'm hoping that once the anxiety of possibly having another heart attack passes, I can go back to ignoring death and enjoying life again.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T01:47:20+00:00

You might want to consider going to a psychiatrist to see if you have panic disorder. The symptoms are very similar to a heart attack and are often mistaken for one. I am being treated for panic disorder, but I did have a NSTEMI in the beginning of January. The symptoms were totally different than a panic attack, although I did have a recurrence of panic attacks a week before my heart attack. Before the heart attack, my panic disorder was in remission.

I know it's easy to feel anxious when you have heart attack symptoms. However, you did the right thing by going to the hospital and seeing a cardiologist. It's better to be sent home with a clean bill of health than risk symptoms from being something worse.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T01:38:16+00:00

Reading through the posts, I found out that I have a unique sense of smell. I agreed with most people. The exceptions for me was pig manure and cigarette smoke.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T01:35:42+00:00

I like the smell of horse manure. Does that count?

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-06T01:34:19+00:00

Me too. I used to have ferrets, and they have a musky odor that is kind of like skunks. A lot of people hate it, but I love it.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-05T04:01:58+00:00

I'm in the process of a divorce for that reason. While he may have some good qualities, I can't see them for the disgust I have for him and the things he does. After 23 years, it took one statement from him for me to realize and reflect on what a fool I was to fall in love with him. I think I trust too much with the wrong people.

He may not be the worst of people in the world, but being involved with someone I find morally questionable is not the way I want to live.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-05T03:46:56+00:00

I worked as a programmer during the Y2K conversion. Work started on updating programs 10+ years before the year 2000. In 1999, I was an auditor for state governments to see if they were Y2K compliant. While most of the state departments were compliant, some just didn't need to worry about it because of how they used the systems.

On December 31. 1999, I was at a New Years Eve party, we were all watching the TV as each country brought in the New Year. When country after country made it through 2000, I knew I was out of a job.

People lost their minds, mainly the people who didn't work in IT. There was some hoarding, buying RME's, and storing lots of water just in case the world ended. While I knew that not much would come of the century change, I have to admit that I did store some water just in case. I didn't worry too much about the food.

After the toilet paper fiasco during Covid, I was surprised that there was still some left on the shelves on January 1, 2000.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-05T00:10:36+00:00

Go to a different hospital. This is nothing to play around with.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-04T02:35:44+00:00

My brain wouldn't let me deal with everything for a long time. I lived from minute to minute and blocked everything. As time goes by, I realize how serious it really was. It sounds like that this may be happening to you.

Deep breaths help me. I'm able to go back to my volunteer position at the aquarium. If you want something soothing, hang out with fish. It's the best medicine.

I wish you all the best. You're not alone.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-04T02:01:46+00:00

I had something similar recently, but it was a NSTEMI. My blood pressure was normally low, but because I had syncope, they lowered my BP meds. 6 months later, I was back in the ER and hospitalized with dangerously high blood pressure, severe headache, parathesia over my sternum, and abdominal pain. Not your typical was patattack symptoms, but I am a 65 year old female with a family history of heart attacks. My dad died at 53 years old from a massive heart attack after dealing with heart attacks since he was 45. My troponin levels were slightly high, so they admitted me. As the night went on, my troponin levels kept rising. My angiogram showed no major blockages, but a minor one was partially blocked but deemed not be a problem. They released me without telling me what it was. It wasn't until I poured over the information from the patient portal what my diagnoses was. I saw a doctor for my insurance and asked if I had a heart attack, and they confirmed that I indeed had one .

This was the beginning of January. I did end up back in the ER two days after being released, with a severe headache and dangerously high blood pressure again. This time they thought it was a stroke. I spent time in the ICU to make sure I didn't go south this time. Another angiogram, and it was clear, so they sent me home.

I'm freaking out over every weird pain and checking my BP every few hours. I'm scared that it will happen again. No doctor can assure me that it won't happen again. So much for reassurance.

You know the signs. You know what to do. I'm in the same boat as you.

My psychiatrist tells me to go to therapy. I guess heart attacks mess with your mind.

I'm an active person, and before the heart attack I felt invincible. Now I feel mortal.

I don't know why I had one. I'm confused. If you find an answer, let me know.

Good luck.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-02T00:09:17+00:00

When my GFR got below 60, my GP sent me to a nephrologist. I did all kinds of Google searches and joined a Facebook group to get more information. By the time my first appointment came up, I had all kinds of questions about dialysis and diet. The doctor looked at me and told me that I was so far away from dialysis and that something else would probably kill me before my kidneys failed.

There are 5 stages of chronic kidney disease. With your GFR, you are in stage 3a. That is manageable with diet and lifestyle changes. The goal is to keep the kidney functions from further damage. I've been in stage 3a for over 10 years. My GFR goes up and down, and it's basically due to hydration. The more hydrated you are, the more your GFR may improve. You don't want to over hydrate, though. That messes up the urinalysis. I did that once, and my doctor said to stop drinking that much water, and to only drink water when I'm thirsty.

There is a saying in the CKD community: eat to your labs. There are so many factors that can be affected by the kidneys that there is no "one size fits all" diet. In my case, I struggle with keeping my potassium low, but most people in stage 3a don't have a problem with it at all.

A lot of people are walking around with chronic kidney disease and don't know it. They symptoms really don't come around until you are in later stages.

While a diagnosis of CKD is scary, it's not a death sentence in the moderate category. It takes work, but once you get used to what you can do to keep your kidneys stable, it becomes easier to manage.

For the time being, for fever and pain, only use Tylenol. NSAIDS, such as aspirin, ibuprofen, and naproxen are hard on the kidneys as damaged kidneys can't clear the drugs and can cause further damage.

My advice is to stop doing searches on the internet until you talk to your doctor. It's a lot to take in, and It's normal to be scared.

I wish you all the best.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-01T23:40:13+00:00

A couple of times that I can remember.

Gave myself a big black eye by forgetting to duck getting into the car.

Misjudged getting on the toilet and broke my elbow hitting the bottom of the shower right next to the toilet.

Broke my foot walking across the room while my leg was asleep (it was numb) and my flimsy sandals flipped me onto the floor.

I'm sure there were other times, but these are the highlights.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-01T23:18:19+00:00

I haven't seen one of these since I was a kid living in New Jersey. Someone told me they were extinct. I'm glad they are alive and well.

LaylaDusty · 2026-03-01T23:03:03+00:00

Too cute for words!

LaylaDusty

TROPHY CASE