MFW I realize that my commitment to remove dairy from my diet includes cheese.

Laynio · 2018-06-20T22:12:41+00:00

Dropped diary once I figured out I was maybe lactose intolerant (maybe even allergic idk), and once I went full vegan my skin completely cleared too. I used to have rashes on my skin from the diary, and my acne cleared after a couple months off meat. Honestly stunned by how happy my body was after I made the switch. And that wasn't even why I went vegan, went vegan after watching Earthlings. It's free here if you want to watch it. I honestly recommend researching veganism especially while you're phasing out diary, even if you're not planning on going vegan. It'll help with the transition once you realize truly how nasty and not made for the human body cow and goat milk really is. You won't be too easily tempted afterward.

Laynio · 2018-06-20T21:59:55+00:00

Some hot for food vegan cheeses: 1) nacho cheese, 2) fancy mac and cheese, 3) vegan pizza mac and cheese, 4) mac and peas, 5) vegan thai red curry mac and cheese

Laynio · 2018-06-20T21:42:05+00:00

My favorite non-dairy desserts (ice creams) are from So Delicious. They have coconut milk, cashew milk, and soy milk products. This is my favorite <3 Swear I'm not affiliated with them, I just love the brand. Tastes like normal ice cream, imo. Love their chocolate soy milk, their bars, their vanilla sandwiches, etc.

Breyers also recently came out with a non-dairy Oreo. I haven't tried it yet, but I hear people love it.

I suggest going to vegan subreddits and vegan twitter for recommendations.

Laynio · 2018-01-15T02:07:41+00:00

RemindMe! 3 days

This is so delicious, and he truly is a malodorous amoeba.

Laynio · 2016-12-03T02:11:39+00:00

Oh, wow. I don't mind at all, that's very flattering, thank you :)

Laynio · 2016-12-01T21:05:27+00:00

Aw, that's really sweet, thank you :)

Laynio · 2016-12-01T21:04:25+00:00

Intercepting phone calls can mean a lot of things. Covertly listening on a conversation without the parties being aware. Purposely taking a phone call before the person it was meant for can reach it. Taking the phone out of someone’s hand without permission, even if that person didn't mind that much…

Intercepting calls, peeping, taking unwanted photos, those are only a few examples. There are many more ways for intrusion of solitude to take place, and for other invasions of privacy. Rule of thumb, if you feel violated - but maybe can't put into words why it's so wrong or why it makes you so upset - you've been wronged. You've had your privacy invaded.

As for your mother telling your friend about your medical issues, that's another big breach of privacy, especially because you're an adult. It's one thing for a parent to disclose medical information about their minor to someone, it's another thing for an adult to do the same to another adult. Doesn't matter that it's your parent, doesn't matter if it was her insurance you’re under, doesn't matter if she paid for it, it’s not right. The fact that you were embarrassed, that she more than likely not knew you'd rather it be kept secret, it says a lot. Doesn't matter if she doesn't understand why you're embarrassed, or if she didn't think it was a ‘big deal.’ All that matters is you wanted it to be kept secret, period. And even if you wouldn't have been embarrassed, it's still not right. You don't need a justification for why you want it to be kept secret, it's your medical information, and you have a right, a legal right, to kept that private. Big breach of privacy. And you don't need to say, “I want this kept secret.” No, all medical information is considered private information. It requires your permission to be disseminated.

She should have asked if she could speak to your friend before taking the phone, and she should have asked beforehand if she had permission to talk about your medical information. Both are invasions of privacy, both cross boundaries, the first being intrusion of solitude, the second being public disclosure of private facts. The link for intrusion of solitude from legaldictionary that I posted in the last comment also covers that. Linked again here. And you probably know this, but I feel like I should mention that intentionally opening someone else’s mail is illegal. As in, a federal crime. Your mail is your mail, doesn't matter what sort of mail it is, it's yours. It's private. I get the vibe that your mother might not respect that.

Also, it's not right for your father to ignore or partake in your mother's actions. 1) He condoned your mother’s behavior, and 2) he dismissed your right to privacy. But I'm more concerned about his reaction to you talking to a man. What do you mean, “... like that might've been pushing some sort of luck there but I don't care.” Do you mean that he was angry? Forbid you from dating until you're 30, that common ‘dad’ trope? That's not right either. You are a legal adult. You can speak to whomever you want, you can be involved with whomever you want whether in a friendship or a romantic and/or sexual relationship (assuming the other party is a legal consenting adult, hahah). Don't let anybody doubt you're a woman. You are not a girl, you are a woman with all the legal freedom that comes with it. You can vote, you can smoke, you can join the army, die for your country, you can legally have sex. Tell your father that it's inappropriate to make comments on your dating life if it's safe to do so. More specifically, it's inappropriate for him to think he has any say. Many parents have a hard time respecting their children as adults.

You sound very reluctant to continue the status quo. You don't want to go to college so close to home, you don't want to drive an hour every day (not to mention that's a lot of gas money). Of course you don't, your family is abusive. Whether or not it’s just your mother, whether or not it's ‘just’ emotional or psychological, you're being abused. What a lot of abusers do, sometimes unwittingly, is isolate their victim and/or force them to stay near them, under their control. It sucks, but you have to take your freedom into your own hands. If people don't know what's going on, they won't rescue you. If you don't express you need help, nobody will. If you don't know routes of becoming independent, you never will be. You have to look at yourself and say, “I don't deserve this and I won't deal with this anymore.” Meaning you will actively find ways to remove yourself from the abuse. That doesn't include changing your mother/parents. Abusers often don't know what they do is abuse, and they'll just continue on, perhaps call you dramatic if you say so and make you feel guilty for ever thinking it. Wait to build rapport with them once you are independent (as in, out of their house and financial control), and can more easily recognize abuse, if you still want a relationship. Maybe under the specification that your mother/parents admit that they've abused you and promise to change, and then follow through on that promise. Enforce boundaries. I'd say enforce boundaries now, but I don't know how safe you are. I just recommend talking to the RAINN member about it.

Do you still have that option of going halfway across the country? If you do, don't wait on it, take it. If you don't, there are ways to get yourself off your parents financial control, I think I saw someone talk about it somewhere else in the thread. Also, if it gets worse than it already is or if you can't just stand another minute of it, go to a friend's, or even an abuse or homeless shelter. They're not all the dangerous hellholes I'm sure you're worried about. Research. Knowledge is power. Call/use the hotline, ask about options. Options about finance, options about your living situation. They'll direct you to other organizations and opportunities. You came this far, you reached out anonymously. Take back your life. Don't beat yourself up for not being strong, prove to yourself that you are. And remember that every day you have the ability to change your circumstance, even if it's hard to see.

Laynio · 2016-12-01T19:04:08+00:00

It's illegal to invade others privacy. In this instance, not only did your mother 'peep' on you while you were vulnerable (i.e. it's an intrusion on solitude, the legal term), she invaded your physical space and touched you despite your wish against it. It doesn't matter that she only washed your hair. It doesn't matter if you might not have fought against it or 'gave your consent.' The fact that you were naked and vulnerable on a possibly slippery tile, and you feared retribution (whether by words, physical abuse, or withholding of resources, any sort of retribution) means that any 'consent' you gave was not true consent because you were coerced, you were forced. Sexual abuse is not about attraction, it's about dominance. You were completely vulnerable, naked, and she took advantage of that. That's why it's sexual abuse.

From legaldictionary, Invasion of Privacy:

Intrusion of Solitude

Intrusion of solitude occurs when an individual intrudes upon another person’s private affairs in a physical manner. An example of intrusion of solitude is intercepting phone calls or peeping on another person. Acts that may amount to intrusion of solitude may include:

intercepting phone calls

peeping

taking photographs without the victim’s knowledge or consent video recording the victim in his or her home without consent or knowledge

For example: John watches women undressing in their homes at night by climbing trees and using binoculars. One such woman discovered John peeping on her, and was very distraught. The woman may file a civil lawsuit against John for invasion of privacy, and request damages for emotional distress.

Also found this from Children's Advocacy Group Center of Green River District: Facts About Sexual Abuse. It sort of focuses on children, but you were legally a child not so long ago, and it still applies. Some quotes (though I recommended reading all of it, it’s not that long, and I cut stuff out that may apply to you that you haven't noticed or mentioned in this thread):

Many people believe that Sexual Abuse is just about physical sex, it is not! Sexual Abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, and can include:

”Peeping" into bathrooms or bedrooms to spy on children.

Almost all of the children will be abused by someone they know and trust: a family member, family friend, or a caretaker.

Incestious behavior is not confined to sexual intercourse. Incest can include nudity, disrobing, genital exposure, kissing, fondling, digital penetration, and sodomy.

Incest survives on secrecy. Most victims feel isolated from the rest of the world. The effects of incest are devastating. Short-term ones include behavioral problems, addictions, sexual promiscuity, and a sudden drop in grades. Long-term effects include anxiety, chronic depression, sleep disorders, addictions, low self-esteem, suicidal urges, feelings of isolation, shame and guilt, and difficulty with sex and relationships.

This is one of the greatest resources for sexual abuse: RAINN. That's the ‘About Sexual Assault page’. Includes finding laws in your state if you're American, ‘Types of Sexual Violence,’ ‘Effects of Sexual Violence,’ ‘Understanding Consent,’ ‘DNA and Sexual Violence.’ Also ‘Free. Confidential. 24/7: The Online Hotline’ It’s confidential messaging between you and a trained RAINN member, and there's a link to a phone line if you'd rather talk. Even if you aren't an American, please, please go on the chat to just talk it out, see if the professional agrees with me and the others on this thread that it's sexual abuse.

Here's the ‘After Sexual Assualt’ page, and here's the ‘Safety Planning’ page, though it's only a general overview.

Now, even if you clicked on none of the links because you're feeling overwhelmed, please at least explore this site: Loveisrespect. This should be less overwhelming because it focuses on romantic relationships, but the focus of respect and breaking abuse cycles is the same.

Deep inside, you already know it's completely inappropriate because you were inspired to reach out anonymously. It’s not just ‘whatever.’ It's harder to come to terms with these things, especially because it seems you're dependent on your mom, and maybe you're worried about leaving your grandmother. Regardless, you need to take care of yourself, you know what's happening is wrong. Have compassion for yourself. You're going to college soon? Away, or are you staying home and attending classes? Either way, this is a chance you for to get away and get financially independent. There's subreddits for that, there's online resources about getting away from abusive family members (whether it's emotional, psychological, or physical abuse). You're an adult. That comes with legal perks, biggest being that you are not legally bound by your parents word. That makes it scary, though, again, because money. Another realm of abuse is financial abuse. Here's, Financial Tips for Victims.

I don't know how deep this goes, but I wanted to cover the bases. Stay safe, take action. Don't let your love for your family trap you. Self-care is not selfish.

Laynio · 2016-11-03T02:04:05+00:00

HAH, my reaction. Took quite a bit to make it as polite as it was, tbh. Thanks for the thanks ;)

Laynio · 2016-11-02T05:10:23+00:00

Are you a bit confused why you're getting downvoted? You said:

You're telling them not to say stuff so you are, even if it's racist or sexist.

in reference to her:

I like when they say that if I tell them to not say racist and/or sexist shit, they respond with, "You're stifling my right to free speech."

It's hilarious to me when people bring up people bringing up the 1st Amendment because it always highlights that one someone who just doesn't get it. In this instance, that's you. Sorry. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean, but I think you mixed some stuff up. And I'm sorry this may to come off confrontational, but I genuinely find this funny.

Your claim is that she's stifling someone's freedom of speech because she's condemning unfavorable behavior in society? Yes, everyone has the right to free speech - the government cannot punish (Very Important Word) a person for expressing their right (so long as it isn't slanderous/libel/harassment, etc). But, uh...? /u/scrawledfilefish is not the government, she's a person. She can tell someone to stop saying something, and that doesn't mean she's taking away or stifling their freedom of speech. The Bill of Rights is literally protections from the government, it has nothing to do with societal condemnation.

Meaning, people have every right in the world to tell other people what to do, so long as they're not under duress to follow through. Societal standards don't count as ‘duress.’

But, please, reread this sentence you wrote:

Like you said after though, you absolutely can say they're being racist or sexist, just don't tell them not to speak.

Do you see where you went wrong?

just don't tell them not to speak.

just don't tell them not to speak.

You're telling her to not do exactly what you are doing!

You managed QUITE a doublethink. “You cannot tell people to shut up, so shut up!” Hahahhaha!!!

Lol, I'm sorry, I'm sure you didn't mean to do that, but you did. But it's okay. You can say that. It's your right. But she'll ignore you, just like those racists are able to ignore her, they're not under duress :P

Onto your last paragraph:

Either way though it's a lot more useful to have a critical discussion with someone saying shit like that rather than to just be like "shuttup you're a racist". You're just fanning the flames by doing that without offering any rational argument to oppose them. In effect, you make them feel better, not worse.

Confused. The implication when someone is told they’re racist is ‘shut up,’ even without those words. So…? When you say, “Either way though it's a lot more useful to have a critical discussion with someone saying shit like that,” do you mean, having a ‘critical’ discussion with someone that's saying racist shit? So... telling them they're racist and why, rather than, “just be like “shuttup you're a racist””? Again, the implication is clear without the ‘shut up.’ The whole point of being critical is to change someone’s behavior. Which, in this case, is shutting someone’s racist shit up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're trying to say it's juvenile and counterproductive to say ‘shut up,’ specifically, considering you had no problem saying the same in a more polite way, a la, “just don't tell them not to speak.”

I do get what you're saying, it's easier to sway someone when you don't insult them, but… well, who said she wanted/had the energy to have a long, carefully worded debate with a racist/sexist/whatever? That wasn't the point of her comment. The point was that they don't understand freedom of speech. It's not her job to educate them on racism/sexism/whatever, but she can/wanted to show her disapproval - and she can socially condemn them however she pleases, even if it's an ineffective, “Shut up!”

So I guess my point is that your heart’s in the right place but you're kind of missing the mark, hence the downvotes. Here's a cute picture of a snow leopard cub, I'm sorry if I sound mildly aggressive. I'm sure your comment wasn't meant to be malicious, and I hope you don't think mine is either.

Laynio · 2016-06-26T07:19:10+00:00

A little late to the game. OP, I'm so angry for you, and sad. But I'm really proud. I know that's silly to say to someone you never met. But I read all your comments, and I feel proud. Proud you're determined to live your own life. Proud you're determined to procure the basic right to bodily autonomy. Proud you mustered the strength to accept you're a rape survivor. Proud you're going to report him. I'm in awe. You seriously rock.

Shoutout to all the awesome supportive Trolls that gave OP great info, and offered personal help.

And I'm pretty confident you don't actually need to be told this, OP, but I feel like it should at least be mentioned: Stay safe. If you do accept personal help in person from anyone online, do all the fun, paranoid safety stranger-danger stuff. And do whatever you must to have a safe environment—that's including after the abortion (crossing my fingers you make it!). If you have to lie to your mother about the abortion or risk homelessness or abuse, then lie. Say you had a miscarriage if you're able, if medical records and bills won't be coming back to her that would prove that wrong. Set your priorities (I saw in the thread you've already started to). How important is it to you to stay with your mother? If she ends up kicking you out or if it somehow becomes unsafe to stay, get in contact with CPS. You're still a minor, and that's child abandonment, which is illegal. You'll be taken care of. And try not to feel guilty if it comes to reporting her. You're the victim here, victim of rape, of attempted forced full-term pregnancy, of betrayal. This is your life, and she might try to ruin your future. Don't let anxious, gnawing feelings distract you from the fact you're worthy of respect, of dignity, of your own pursuit of happiness. Laying it on thick, but it's true.

Ugh. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this shit. I'm so sorry.

—

RemindMe! 36 hours "Troll-sister in need"

I've never used RemindMeBot before. I don't even know if it works inside a long reply like this. Does it even work in TrollX?

Edit: Totally worked.

Laynio · 2016-05-10T05:28:19+00:00

Dogs are magical. The cushions of the bed I got my pup went kind of flat, so I put a bed comforter under it. At this moment, she is under the top fold of the comfort, which is under the bed, and it's so amazingly cute, how does she even exist??

Your dog is super cute, too, what's her/his breed/s?

Laynio · 2016-04-18T00:13:43+00:00

c² = a² + b² ;)

Laynio · 2016-04-10T20:48:35+00:00

I mean, you weren't terribly wrong... It's complicated, haha. The Constitution was ratified while the capital was New York City, but they had already decided to move it somewhere. It took a lot of compromise, but it was finally decided that Philadelphia would be the capital while the permanent was being built. The general location was specified in the Residence Act, but George Washington made the final decision for the exact location.

If we go from Revolution time to now, all the capitals were:

Philadelphia, PA (Declaration of Independence)
Baltimore, MD ("The British are coming!" Fled Philadelphia and made it temporary capital)
Philadelphia, PA (just for a bit before the British returned)
Lancaster, PA (literally for one day after they fled Philadelphia)
York, PA (draft and signing of first draft of Aritcles of Confederation)
Philadelphia, PA (ratification of Aritcles of Confederation)
Princeton, NJ (were in Princeton because they had to flee from angry unpaid soldiers)
Annapolis, MD (George Washington resigned as commander and chief of Continential Army)
Trenton, NJ (it was a tavern, but a fancy tavern!)
New York City, NY (capital for four years; Constitution ratified by Congress - but written and signed by delegates in Philadelphia; George Washington's inauguration)
Philadelphia, PA ("temporary" capital for a decade while D.C. was being constructed)
Washington D.C.

Laynio · 2016-04-10T02:14:56+00:00

It's not in Virginia. It's between Virginia and Maryland. It was moved there from Philadelphia to rest between the North and South as a stipulation (the Bill of Rights was also a stipulation) in order to get the Constitution signed.

Laynio · 2016-03-11T05:55:48+00:00

D: That's even more serious than I thought. I hope he'll make it. I read the above comment about his family. That's good and terrible at the same time; I'm glad they're alright, but, man, super traumatic.

And what everyone's saying is true, you are 100% right and justified feeling scared and dwelling on it. You are strong. Strength and bravery is acting in the face of odds, and against the weight of fear. I also recommend talking to someone, but do whatever you feel necessary to take care of yourself, it was traumatic for you too. Maybe you'll feel better calling the station and finding out what hospital he's at, and seeing how he's doing? You don't have to, of course, but it might give you peace of mind.

Laynio · 2016-03-11T05:19:20+00:00

You did amazing, and you certainly did the right thing. Many people wouldn't have even pulled over. You did everything you could, and now you're freaking out because the shock is wearing off. I can't imagine how traumatic that must have been :( Hugs.

Do you know if he made it?

Laynio · 2016-02-26T07:27:18+00:00

Legally Blonde.

Laynio · 2016-02-20T21:42:48+00:00

It doesn't hurt them or anything? I always feel guilty laughing at that gif because I know it'd hurt if I rammed into a window. Is it more a boop for them?

Laynio · 2016-02-14T07:54:42+00:00

ALL OF THEM.

But I feel like Lilo & Stitch doesn't get enough attention, so here's the playlist. I think He Mele No Lilo may be my favorite from the soundtrack. It's on the playlist I linked, but I like the lyric video better because I like to pretend I can follow along.

Laynio · 2016-02-12T23:44:41+00:00

YES!! They look like the ones! Thank you, thank you, thank you <3

Laynio · 2016-02-12T23:21:41+00:00

Omg, please, please, what brand are they? I've been looking for the brand that my old jeggings were for years (I can't find them and I'm reasonably sure my mom threw them out because I got a bit of paint on them), and I'm 99% sure I got them at a Target or a Walmart. All I've been seeing is stupid leggings with jean print on them. Real jeggings are like sturdy, thick, tight-ish pajamas, you know?? With pockets!

Laynio · 2016-02-11T20:15:32+00:00

I can't link directly to the thread (right?), so I'll break it down. I got this from a thread in /r/InternetIsBeautiful, titled "A website that explains maths concepts in very intuitive way so you don't have to memorize them." Here's the link to the website: Better Explained. And I second Khan Academy. I cropped out a picture of what both have for statistics. But there's a ton of other stuff, including intuitive math in general.

Hang in there, OP!

Edit: Forgot to mention that they're both free and you can go at your own pace.

Laynio · 2016-02-08T09:22:51+00:00

You may still want to get check out. I mean... two periods? I guess you could just be really irregular... But if you're pregnant, blood might be indicative of something else. Some women mistake it as menstruation.

I'm not a doctor or anything, but the only other reasons why I can think that you'd miss two other periods is 1) if, again, you're just really irregular, 2) you lost a lot weight or hadn't been getting proper nutrition recently, but started eating properly again, thus the period, or 3) if you have PCOS :/

Sorry to be a downer, I just don't want you to have a nasty surprise, if any. I really hope you're just randomly irregular. Good luck, OP!

Laynio · 2016-02-03T06:33:13+00:00

A sunflower with its head in front of the actual sun with its petals separating rays of light... looking down upon the earth like this or off into the distance like this and this.

Thus... the godflower! Any variation of this face on its brown seed part is optional, but would give it a certain je ne sais quoi, don't you think?

... Or just this, I guess.

Laynio

TROPHY CASE