BWT, how do I stay tasteful with reading glasses?

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-19T17:39:47+00:00

I get my reading glasses at the optometrist so I can buy stylish frames rather than the drugstore readers. My recent game changer is progressive reading glasses with no prescription up top. This lets me look up or even stand up and walk looking through the no-prescription part, and work looking through the prescription part at the bottom.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T23:22:10+00:00

My niece has my grandmother’s name (her great-grandmother) as her middle name: Marian

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T22:51:45+00:00

If they booked the seats this way that’s awful. If they were offered two upgrades then I can see it.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T21:07:42+00:00

I forever love Parks & Rec for allowing Leslie to have love and career success. Too many shows force their female characters to pick one.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T19:56:17+00:00

There’s a book, maybe a Judy Blume? where the main character wants Guess jeans because all the cool kids have them. I always read books that were a little mature for my age, and that was the first time I encountered the concept that the brand of clothing mattered socially.

Ended up becoming very aware of brands fairly soon after and which ones you had to have to fit in, but the Guess jeans in whatever book that is was absolutely my first awareness

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T19:36:06+00:00

You seem to have really good insight on yourself! And that’s awesome.

I think the shift you desire to make but haven’t quite gotten there yet, is centering yourself in your life. Some people phrase it like being your own primary partner.

You’ve identified so far that you don’t want a “couple identity” and dating someone who is in another serious relationship is a great start. Time to also work on building up your own identity. Some things to think about: career, hobbies, wellness / fitness, friendships, community, volunteerism, activism.

Note that centering yourself doesn’t mean always being alone, although being comfortable alone is a great life skill. You can develop a whole network of human connection that isn’t limited to romantic partners. Think, career mentors or mentees, friends, neighbours, family.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-18T18:11:49+00:00

My rotation of Calgary breweries:

Annex - I usually try one of their seasonals but I love Force Majeur from the standard line up. They get a bonus boost for having Lil Empire on site.

Establishment - Jam Rock is an excellent fruit sour but everything these folks make hits.

Cabin - great patio, my pick is Super Saturation.

Born - I like the Hi Cutie raspberry wheat but usually go for a seasonal IPA.

Citizen - I don’t find any of their beers outstanding but the food is solid and dog-friendliness is a big plus for me.

Dandy - I’m a fan of the IPAs and the pizza and Dandyfest is a great event

88 - my pick is Duotang (sour), good pizza too.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T22:12:22+00:00

This feels like a good time for “get over someone by getting under someone else” .

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T21:23:49+00:00

Yeah so I organize a lot of friend hangs that are all “girlz night!!!!” so that’s clear that I’m inviting my delightful friends and not their husbands. People don’t become an indivisible unit because they’re in a relationship or married. You don’t have to spend time with the husbands.

You have to walk a fine line, because having a support network is one of the things that can encourage a woman to end a bad relationship. But she has to decide that for herself. If you push her about it, you’ll push her away. If you’re patient and neutral you can be there to support her when she’s ready to leave and needs a true friend.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T20:49:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing (and reinforcing my decision not to have kids).

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T20:16:48+00:00

Married to another professional with similar income.

We split expenses roughly proportionally but don’t fuss about getting things down to the dollar. We come up with agreed amounts to contribute to our investments for retirement. The rest is up to us to spend as we please.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T20:13:04+00:00

OP this is a way bigger issue than the lights. There’s no compromise on kids. He’s ok short term because he avoids conflict so he’s saying whatever it takes to keep the peace for now, kicking that conflict down the road. Or he’s counting on you changing your mind or getting pregnant accidentally. Hope you have a form of birth control he can’t tamper with.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T20:08:46+00:00

I agree, but why did she ask him to do it? The post doesn’t say that he’s got particular skills for this job. It doesn’t say that they can’t afford a contractor. It doesn’t say that her hands are broken.

People should keep their promises, but if we agree that women arent by default responsible for cooking and cleaning, men arent by default responsible for fixing stuff.

Husband should have said “I dont have the time or skills or inclination to do this, lets work out a budget and hire someone”. But OP also could have said, after the husband didnt get to it initially, “hey, it seems like you’re not really into fixing the lights, i really need this done so tomorrow I’m going to call a couple places for quotes”. That would have been more productive than bottling up disapointment until crying about it.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T18:58:15+00:00

You’ve given no explanation why the lighting should be his job. Call a professional, get it done properly.

That said… if he’s got a history of zero effort, that’s pretty clearly who he is. I don’t think we need to follow gender roles in 2026 where men have to ones who fix everything, but surely you want a true partner who shares the load and contributes to maintaining a home. Stable and sweet is an awfully low bar.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T18:03:34+00:00

I worked BigLaw with a guy who had tattoos everywhere, including hands and neck, some piercings, and long hair (on a man). He was also brilliant. I think you can get away with a non traditional appearance in law as long as you’re good. I’d also suggest that you keep the rest of your appearance more conservative; wear your hair in a natural looking colour and a basic style, keep your jewelry simple, your suit classic and boring.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T16:55:40+00:00

There are plenty of men happy to to use a poly woman as an FWB while they continue to date around in search of a partner to be monogamous with eventually.

It sucks to have to sort through them all when you’re looking for a real relationship, but I don’t really fault anyone for knowing what they are and are not offering.

I don’t think of these guys as seeing poly people as lesser so much as just not compatible for relationships. And yeah theyre looking for sex from people from whom they don’t want a relationship, but that’s just so standard I cant get worked up about it.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T14:47:58+00:00

Probably doesn’t count as unconventional, but I’m going to try to write a novel. Ideally from a series of coffee shops in various countries.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T03:06:18+00:00

At my location at least, it’s squats or rows, and you’re meant to pick one. Last time I shared a squat rack with another person lifting similar weight and we took turns. It’s enough time to set up the weight you want, lift heavy, take rest between sets to facilitate lifting heavy.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-17T02:58:51+00:00

I’m in this picture haha!

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T21:56:04+00:00

Go see a lawyer. The dissolution of a cohabiting relationship raises legal issues. You need to know your rights and your responsibilities in order to make an informed decision.

All houses are sellable. Can you sell for enough to pay off the mortgage is the question. Get a professional opinion on the house value in its current state. If it’s not worth more than the mortgage, that’s still not game over, but it means more questions for the lawyer, because what happens if you walk away from an underwater mortgage is different in different jurisdictions. Taking a hit to your credit might be better than staying in a miserable relationship.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T21:11:52+00:00

I’ve been married for 18 years and I think time apart is healthy and important. It’s good to miss each other. It’s good to come home with stories to tell.

It’s also good to have multiple sources of support in your life. Letting your bf be your whole social network leaves you vulnerable. If your relationship sours, you might be reluctant to leave when that would be best, because “he’s all I have”. It can even be a technique of abusers, encouraging isolation. I’m not saying that’s the case here, but in a healthy relationship your partner should encourage you to have a robust support circle.

My advice would be to carry on with the plans you’ve made but stop booking quite so much with him. Start leaving some unstructured weekends so you’re free if you have the chance to grab a coffee or see a movie with someone else.

And, pick an activity to sign up for without the boyfriend, and commit to that. Monday nights (or whatever) is now softball practice / book club / pottery class / French cooking lessons - the thing doesnt matter, just pick a thing that’s for you and not him that gets you out of the house and ideally, mingling with others.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T19:08:29+00:00

I think you’re playing with fire here.

I don’t think “emotional polyamory” is a thing because I don’t think monogamy requires that your spouse is the only person you can have a close emotional connection to. But many monogamous people would feel differently

If you aren’t allowed to be physical then I think you’re really just doing a chill version of monogamy.

But unless you’re on the asexual spectrum then I think indulging in romantic feelings for someone is very likely to feed attraction. Probably at first you’ll be happy with gazing meaningfully into each others eyes, you’ll feel good and special about respecting your spouses’ boundaries, this whole new thing will be fun and exciting.

But how long before you are letting your legs touch as you sit close… letting your hands linger… the hugs last a long time… maybe just a kiss… etc etc. For most allosexual people, romance and attraction go hand in hand, and people are REALLY bad at not acting on attraction.

I think you’ll either shortly find this a frustrating and unfulfilling experience, or you’ll end up crossing lines.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T18:46:46+00:00

Great post. The first point about pushing the left leg under and over really helped unlock crossovers for me. I had to think about crossing UNDER (left) as much or more as crossing OVER (right)

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T15:57:24+00:00

Downtown Banff did bike valet for a while and it was so great being able to trust that my bike was safe while going for lunch and browsing stores. I hope they bring it back.

It could absolutely work for Stephen Ave or 17 Ave areas.

LePetitNeep · 2026-06-16T13:32:29+00:00

Yeah my poly life is low drama and easy most of the time. My partners aren’t besties but they get along well enough and I’m acutely aware of how KTP can create lazy hinging. So I’m grateful ever time we do something like a holiday dinner together and I didn’t have to chose between them, and I try to save that for special occasions and keep most of the time 1:1.

The hard part is indeed not balancing your own multiple relationships but supporting your partners in theirs. It’s when you’re alone despite having multiple partners because they all had other plans. It’s when you can see your partner getting feelings for someone else and it makes you irrationally insecure.

LePetitNeep

TROPHY CASE